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wearing women's clothes

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by Alisa Arwen, Oct 13, 2014.

  1. Alisa Arwen

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    I am trying to work out where wearing women's clothes puts me...in terms of who I am .

    When I was a teenager I often had thoughts of being a woman, but a lot of it was associated with wanting to look and dress like a woman. I investigated gender dysphoria but decided it did not apply to me.

    About a year ago I wore a dress for the first time. It was a wonderful experience. I also got to wear high heel boots (I love high heels and boots...so both together is wonderful). I seem to get on well with heels. :3

    I enjoy the idea of wearing the clothes and I enjoy the idea of one day dressing up as a woman and "being" a woman.

    I don't know what it all means.

    The only person who knows is my girlfriend.
     
  2. Sek

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    From my (limited) understanding, wearing women's clothes doesn't make you anything. All it means is that it's something you enjoy. Some men wear women's clothes and still identify as male, others choose to be female. The beauty of it is that it's whatever you're comfortable with.

    It's always a personal experience so don't think you have to fall into categories or paths others have taken. Just do what feels right for you.

    TL;DR - you don't have to label yourself as anything. Do what makes you happy.

    PS - The line "the only person who knows is my girlfriend" made me smile! I'm assuming/hoping she's accepting which is great! Wish you all the best with figuring it out. :thumbsup:
     
  3. Alisa Arwen

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    I think what gets me as much as anything are the occasional desires I have to BE female.

    But yes, I am very lucky having someone so accepting and wonderful. She even encourages me :slight_smile:
     
  4. Awesome_trans_girl13

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    You could be gender fluid or a crossdresser, but i say you do what feels natural to you. Personaly i hate lables so i just say im female.
     
  5. DoriaN

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    Maybe you just enjoy crossdressing or pushing gender boundaries a bit, but do not identify as female. Clothes don't make the man, but they can make the man feel good. I mean, most male crossdressers are heterosexual, and while sexuality is not a link to gender, maybe you fall closer to that.
     
  6. Alisa Arwen

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    I guess maybe it doesn't matter. I'd be inclined to say I might feel 5% female and 5% gay...but I guess most of these things fall on some spectrum anyway.
     
  7. looking for me

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    i cross dressed for years and identfied as straight, i identify as bi now andi still dress as much as i can. dressing and orientation or gender arent hard linked. if its something that makes you feel good or more whole go for it and just enjoy. if your girlfriend actually encourages you, your leaps and miles ahead of most of us.

    nothing like kicking back in a skirt and a nice drink is it?
     
  8. Kasey

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    Clothes are clothes.

    Just because you happen to like women's clothing while Identifying as male doesn't make you trans. Maybe a cross dresser. But it's more than the clothes. It's the perception of being seen as female and feeling female, of well... You'll just know.

    Have you ever said, even to yourself, "I want to be a girl or I wish I was born female?"

    Also, you don't need to feel dysphoric to be trans.
     
  9. Alisa Arwen

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    Yes. I do sometimes wish that. Not strongly enough to wish to permanently change my gender identy or such. But I do sometimes feel I would be more comfortable as a woman. Perhaps the dressing is enough to satisfy that, but sometimes I wouldn't mind a bit more.

    Thanks for clarification about the dysphoria...I am still learning about these things. My research was 10 years ago when I was young. I hope to learn more about these things.
     
  10. SpaceSuit

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    To me, it sounds like you could be gender fluid.
     
  11. Alisa Arwen

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    Perhaps. I am not familiar enough with this concept to be able to work that out.

    I shall research.
     
  12. MN Writer

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    maybe I can shed some light on things to help you understand where you are along the gender spectrum. I am definitely a transwoman. I have had a deep and persistent desire to be a physical female for about as long as I can remember. When I close my eyes, I can almost feel my female body hiding just beneath the surface of the male exterior. In my interactions with other humans I am naturally effeminate, and find the greatest amount of comfort among other women. I feel almost completely alienated when I am surrounded by just men, as if we are completely different from one another.

    I enjoy women's clothing because it makes me feel more like the gender I feel on the inside. I love wearing nail polish and shaving my legs. I love the thought of being perceived as a woman because it is a direct reflection of how I feel on the inside.

    I get the very distinct feeling that I'm a girl trapped in a boy's body and at times it really depresses me to see my still male exterior. So much so that the thought of going on hormones to become a woman and ultimately changing my sex so that everyone I encounter sees a woman 100% of the time, sounds amazing and exciting.

    Now, how do you feel compared to what I just offered? do you completely empathize or do you just like being girly sometimes? If you just like the idea of wearing women's clothing, but not actually living as a woman because it feels natural to do so, you are likely either gender fluid or a cross dresser/transvestite. But as was mentioned above, all of those are just labels.

    The key is to explore it and see where you end up. Don't be afraid to be yourself, no matter what gender that self ends up being. We are all individuals who have our own journeys, so try to enjoy yours.

    Good luck!
     
  13. Alisa Arwen

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    I will reply in full when I get back from work.
    But this sounds like something I can relate to.
     
  14. Alisa Arwen

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    I don't feel the same great level of desire. I am ok with being man, most of the time. But there are times when I feel that I am missing something by not being a woman. Sometimes I look in the mirror and see my male face and body, (especially face and facial hair) and feel slightly disappointed not to look more feminine.

    My mannerisms can be feminine sometimes to, in some situations, especially when I am with my partner. I talk in a higher voice, get a girlish giggle, move or walk femininely.

    When I wear a dress it feels very natural and safe. It makes me awkward and feel strange sometimes, but that's probably society/cultural pressure. Wearing high heels is a great feeling too...the heels on my boots are quite high (not very, just quite - 3.5 inches maybe). I was able to walk in them first try. It made me feel like a woman to wear these clothes. I'd be lying if I didn't say it can be a turn on at times, but the fact that I have these desires to be a woman from time to time make it seem more than crossdressing.

    I'd love to be slimmer and have a more feminine face and no facial hair...
    Then again sometimes I look in the mirror and like being a man.

    Perhaps it all doesn't matter so long as I am ok with myself.
     
  15. Alisa Arwen

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    Any good sources to find out more about gender fluidity?
     
  16. Unkempt Harold

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    *back from the dead*
    I'm assuming that, on gender fluidity, basically the info you're looking for is on male and female stuff ^.^

    Sense I've been make my whole life I just research female stuff. As for like, medical information on being gender fluid? Idk of any to exist, if that's what you mean. Haven't bothered looking
     
  17. jay777

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  18. Alisa Arwen

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    Thanks. Will read that this evening.
     
  19. Alisa Arwen

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    Okay. I think what I have come up with is possibly crossdresser with a slight transgender leaning?
     
  20. Alisa Arwen

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    Had another talk with my partner about this. I feel special to have such a great person supporting me.