1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

wearing women's clothes

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by Alisa Arwen, Oct 13, 2014.

Thread Tools

Thread Tools

Page 2 of 8
  1. Meribor

    Meribor
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Dec 9, 2012
    Messages:
    49
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Boston, MA-ish
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Above all, take your time. Its surprising the answers we give ourselves once we take the time to listen.

    Also, if you see a therapist for other reasons, this would be something to bring up with them. Even if that therapist doesn't specialize in gender, they can still give you a good start. Just beware of someone leading you.
     
    #21 Meribor, Oct 16, 2014
  2. Alisa Arwen

    Alisa Arwen
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Oct 8, 2014
    Messages:
    446
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Britain
    Thanks, I'll think about it.

    Right now though, I feel ok with who I am and I am going to embrace this side of me when I can, even if just on my own or with my partner.
     
    #22 Alisa Arwen, Oct 16, 2014
  3. Alisa Arwen

    Alisa Arwen
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Oct 8, 2014
    Messages:
    446
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Britain
    Just got these...rather exciting...

    [​IMG]
     
    #23 Alisa Arwen, Oct 20, 2014
  4. Alisa Arwen

    Alisa Arwen
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Oct 8, 2014
    Messages:
    446
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Britain
    Agh...something triggered some thoughts and feelings regarding desires to be a woman today...slightly unsettling.
     
    #24 Alisa Arwen, Oct 29, 2014
  5. Alisa Arwen

    Alisa Arwen
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Oct 8, 2014
    Messages:
    446
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Britain
    I need a hug.
     
    #25 Alisa Arwen, Oct 30, 2014
  6. hollychristina

    hollychristina
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Oct 15, 2014
    Messages:
    114
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    New York
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    awww here is one for you(*hug*)
     
    #26 hollychristina, Oct 30, 2014
  7. Alisa Arwen

    Alisa Arwen
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Oct 8, 2014
    Messages:
    446
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Britain
    Thanks. I am suddenly finding it all to be stressful and anxiety provoking
     
    #27 Alisa Arwen, Oct 30, 2014
  8. MN Writer

    MN Writer
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Sep 29, 2014
    Messages:
    77
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Minnesota
    to me it doesn't sound like you are MtF. Maybe you are like Eddie Izzard and are just a transvestite? nothing at all wrong with that, especially if you can pull it off. I certainly get it because women get all the fun clothes/fashion. :wink:
     
    #28 MN Writer, Oct 30, 2014
  9. Alisa Arwen

    Alisa Arwen
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Oct 8, 2014
    Messages:
    446
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Britain
    Women are beautiful and I want to be part of that?
     
    #29 Alisa Arwen, Oct 30, 2014
  10. Alisa Arwen

    Alisa Arwen
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Oct 8, 2014
    Messages:
    446
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Britain
    So I should go for the dresses , skirts, high heels, and thigh high boots?
     
    #30 Alisa Arwen, Oct 30, 2014
  11. MN Writer

    MN Writer
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Sep 29, 2014
    Messages:
    77
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Minnesota
    They really can make a world of difference, can't they?

    My spouse has been very supportive of my decision to transition and it's made everything so much easier.
     
    #31 MN Writer, Oct 31, 2014
  12. Alisa Arwen

    Alisa Arwen
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Oct 8, 2014
    Messages:
    446
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Britain
    I really should marry her :slight_smile:
     
    #32 Alisa Arwen, Oct 31, 2014
  13. Alisa Arwen

    Alisa Arwen
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Oct 8, 2014
    Messages:
    446
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Britain
    Recently I have come back to this site a little more, and for the first time in months Iam looking at this gender thing a bit more, and for some reason thinking about my feminine side makes me sad.
     
    #33 Alisa Arwen, Jan 8, 2015
  14. Kasey

    Kasey
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 21, 2013
    Messages:
    6,385
    Likes Received:
    162
    Location:
    The Commonwealth of Massachusetts
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Sad that you have these feelings or sad you aren't female?
     
    #34 Kasey, Jan 8, 2015
  15. Alisa Arwen

    Alisa Arwen
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Oct 8, 2014
    Messages:
    446
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Britain
    I am not sure. I suspect the former. There is a side to me that would dearly love to be female as I think in many ways it would allow me to express myself in a way that society does not really allow men to do. On the other hand I don't mind being a guy. I'll never be a manly man - I don't like sports, I cry at movies, I get easily emotional, am very sensitive, like women's clothes and so on - but most of the time I can accept it.

    But when I think hard something bothers me about my gender. Not enough for it to affect my everyday life to any great extent, but it's there.
     
    #35 Alisa Arwen, Jan 8, 2015
  16. Kasey

    Kasey
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 21, 2013
    Messages:
    6,385
    Likes Received:
    162
    Location:
    The Commonwealth of Massachusetts
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Internalized transphobia.

    Have you been taught everything that isn't heterosexual and masculine is wrong?
     
    #36 Kasey, Jan 8, 2015
  17. Alisa Arwen

    Alisa Arwen
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Oct 8, 2014
    Messages:
    446
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Britain
    Internalised transphobia...?

    Not knowing a great deal about such things I would have to think and read more, but it sounds like that would have more distressing feelings than what I have. It does resonate a little though.

    I wouldn't say so, re the heterosexuality. I have a couple of homophobic family members I think, but my best friend is gay and my partner is agender.

    As for the masculinity...I think that might be more of a thing. I've always been on the more sensitive side for a guy, and that's generally accepted. But I don't know what my family would think if they knew I sometimes crossdress.

    ---------- Post added 8th Jan 2015 at 10:46 PM ----------

    Ok...maybe there is some fear.
     
    #37 Alisa Arwen, Jan 8, 2015
  18. Alisa Arwen

    Alisa Arwen
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Oct 8, 2014
    Messages:
    446
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Britain
    I am scared that any external change to my gender expression would cause changes to my life that would be negative, and I am not sure if it's worth it.
     
    #38 Alisa Arwen, Jan 8, 2015
  19. Alisa Arwen

    Alisa Arwen
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Oct 8, 2014
    Messages:
    446
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Britain
    I am worried I would lose friends and family
     
    #39 Alisa Arwen, Jan 9, 2015
  20. Lazuri

    Lazuri
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2015
    Messages:
    2,710
    Likes Received:
    17
    Location:
    Stockholm, Sweden
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Pretty much all of us are worried about that. It held me off for years and now that I've gathered my courage and decided to proceed despite that, I regret that it took me this long.

    It's tricky, but the cold and hard truth is that if your friends disapprove, they're not really your friends. I had some friends I waso worried about because they were uneducated on trans issues but in the end they were accepting despite not understanding because they were my friends and all they want is for me to be happy.

    Family is harder. It's like they say, "you can choose your friends, but you can't choose your family." There are so many factors to consider with immediate family that I'm not sure I can tell you much about that without knowing something about them.

    I'm worried about telling my dad for example because he's a control freak, stubborn and he's very proud of having a son. When I tell him he actually has two daughters I'm certain he will just say "no" as if it's his decision.
     
    #40 Lazuri, Jan 9, 2015
(You must log in or sign up to post here.)
Page 2 of 8