Confused

It’s really hard to not be able to be yourself around anybody. I’ve found this forum to be helpful and another one. It’s a support group of just women.

 

I agree. I’ve found a lot of good information and support both places. I’m in such better place with myself since joining both.

 

You might benefit from watching the movie Kinsey. Me and my husband watched it together. It’s about Kinsey who studied sexuality in the late 1940s (I believe). If you aren’t able to come out to your husband you should watch it alone. It didn’t help us much because I have no desire to be out to any other people at the moment so I don’t feel that anguish. But I think it can give you hope that your situation can change and you can someday be more open.

 

So, excuse me if I misunderstand, this would make you bi not gay ? You want to stay with the male but want to be intimate with women as well, or are you exclusively looking to cut him out of the picture ?

Take care

 

I feel for you. After I admitted my same sex desires to myself, I went through many months of telling myself that I need to figure out a way to be a “normal wife.” The more I told myself that message, the worse I felt. I fell into a pretty bad depression. I began to realize that I could either work to accept this about me and figure out a new path in life, or I was destined to be depressed. Your experience may be different, I just know that telling myself to be “normal” didn’t work. I hope you find a solution that works for those you care about while remaining true to yourself.

 

Hey I'm not telling you what you should or shouldn't do but I am not sure there is such a thing as a normal wife but if you are saying you need to learn to be happy in your environment then that is something you are going to struggle with. I don't have kids but what I do know from reading other people's stories and from talking to my friends kids do best when their parents are happy and sure any kind of change in circumstance will take some adjusting to but kids are adaptable. Learning or attempting to be the normal wife means having sex with someone you don't want to and shutting off a part of you neither of which are conducive to happiness, right now in the short term this might seem doable but long term chances are you won't be you, you won't be the mother they know and love. Another thing to consider is your husband, surely he deserves to be with someone who loves him the way he loves you. I don't mean that in a horrible way but if you are staying partly for his benefit then even though it seems like you leaving him would hurt him but potentially so could you staying.

I'm not saying you should leave or that you need to do anything right away just that you should consider all aspects of it. Everyone here on EC will support you in each and every step no matter what you decide (*hug*).

 

Absolutely. Take your time, you will know what to do when you are ready

 

I've been in your position. I was married to a man and we have two young children. I knew that I was being untrue to myself by staying in the marriage. Breaking up a family is NOT EASY. I don't have an advice, but just know that your happiness matters and you will still be a great parent.

 

^^ What Kitty16 said, the more honest you are with yourself the happier you'll both be x