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casual sex?

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by skiff, Nov 21, 2014.

  1. HunGuy

    HunGuy Guest

    Wow guys! :icon_bigg
    It's been a long run. My intention was to express my point of view and get to know yours, and it seems that I've got what I wanted (though I never thought I'd see this conversation flying off at tangents like rape). It's interesting to see so many opinions on this single topic, and how everybody has their own unique and individual ideas of it.

    I think allnewtome's above post says all that needs to be said.

    So thanks for everyone's input.
     
  2. Damien

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    Depends on how you do it. Can you see a distinction between sex engaged in without genuine affection and love, and sex with mutual affection and love? Many folks have reported attaining to higher states of consciousness via sex. Not all sex is the same...
     
    #142 Damien, Dec 17, 2014
    Last edited: Dec 17, 2014
  3. Clay

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    Yeah not all sex is the same, and it can be better when you're both in love. Obviously how good it is depends on a whole range of things.

    But it's not supernatural.

    People can report all sorts of things. But sex is a natural, normal thing. Any sort of pretence that it's magical or mystical ultimately just harms people and I'd go as far to say it undermines what sex actually is. It puts it on this pedestal. It gives people expectations of how it's supposed to be, and leads people (like the guy on the other page) to think that you have to fufill certain criteria to have and/or enjoy sex.

    It's a natural, normal thing that people do. It can suck, it can be amazing, it can bring relationships closer, it can be a thing people do with no strings. It can be boring, or it can be incredibly fun.

    But sex is sex. It's just a thing people do.
     
  4. OnTheHighway

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    I hope I never get to the point where I believe sex is just sex. If I do, it means my relationships have failed.
     
  5. OGS

    OGS
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    I feel like we may be talking past each other again. Obviously sex isn't "magic" and I certainly wouldn't characterize it as "supernatural"--simply by virtue of the fact that it exists I think that makes it "natural" (indeed, pretty much all the "supernatural" stuff people believe in, it seems to me, if it turns out to exist becomes "natural"). However, I have to say I think "mystical" is a pretty good way to describe the possibilities. It certainly isn't like that every time (even with my partner) and I have to say I feel like a few times it has been that way with people I barely knew but chose to really connect with as human beings even if just for the evening. So yeah, I'm on board for "mystical."
     
  6. OnTheHighway

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    :thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup:
     
  7. Fallingdown7

    Fallingdown7 Guest

    I agree. Even though I don't/like have casual sex, I'll still continue to keep a casual attitude on it. Trying to make it out to be 'special' actually completely harmed my mental and sexual health in the past, which is why I take large offense to it. I do not want to go back to that time, I want a healthy attitude on it.
     
  8. all paths

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    I agree with this point (the sentence I put in bold).

    Good examples.
     
  9. all paths

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    YEAH, BILL COSBY!!! :tantrum:

    :grin:


    But on a serious note: Very good points, Fallingdown7. And you really made me think. Hard and challenging-y thoughts. xD

    So thank you!

    ---------- Post added 19th Dec 2014 at 12:14 AM ----------

    Not at all what I said.

    The study I posted the link to found a connection between objectification of other people (in the study, it was women, specifically, so I'm generalizing) and 'willingness to rape' or rape ideation type of stuff.

    Correlation does not equal causation.

    However, the fact that there is a link should interest us as a society, I think.

    That said, many people have made some very good points here that not all 'casual sex' is objectifying sex (objectifying the other person). And I found that I could actually consent/agree to that notion.

    Regardless, sexual objectification and rape culture being somehow connected still remains--as the study showed. But this does not mean that everyone who somehow engages in sexual objectification is a rapist or would rape.

    THAT part is putting words in my mouth.

    But, am I still skeptical about "a hole is a hole" sex not being harmful to our society and contributing to rape culture? Yes.
     
  10. all paths

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    :bang:

    The study found a connection.

    And a connection between objectification and rape is NOT the same as saying that everyone who likes or engages in ~somebody's~ definition of 'casual sex' is a rapist!!

    PLEASE stop putting words in my mouth.

    People continually doing so is a disingenuous line of argument.

    ---------- Post added 19th Dec 2014 at 12:48 AM ----------

    :slight_smile: Ditto.

    ---------- Post added 19th Dec 2014 at 12:50 AM ----------

    And this one. :thumbsup:
     
  11. Kaiser

    Kaiser Guest

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    Yes?




    Oh, that... wasn't... the answer you were asking for?

    Then why am I here?




    *exits!*

    [​IMG]
     
  12. Black Raven

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    Totally up for it.

    'Cmere.
     
  13. Wildside

    Wildside Guest

    sorry for the misunderstanding. I thought this thread was generally about casual sex (and so I naturally respond with a gay male sexual perspective -- and read the posts through that lens as well), not so much about heterosexual male on female sex (but that does fit within the definition of casual sex too, for those so inclined). I definitely don't have much to contribute about that. Not the kind of "casual sex" that I'm into. (*hug*)
    There is objectification and violation (rape) in gay sex, but it isn't the man casually on his knees doing the raping. though I think a lot of straight guys are afraid that's what's going to happen, from the way some of them react to anything gay.