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casual sex?

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by skiff, Nov 21, 2014.

  1. skiff

    skiff Guest

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    Hi,

    The same society that delivers up homophobia also delivers up negativity regarding casual sex. I am sure both stem from a twisted religious base.

    Can we talk casual sex here for a moment? What is the issue?

    I am talking consenting adults.

    Tom
     
  2. OnTheHighway

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    Does society really deliver up negativity regarding casual sex? I do agree institutionalized religion has moral standards, which as far as I am concerned, I do not agree with. But outside of that, where I perceive western culture becoming more secular, and younger generations being more open about sex, I am not so sure I agree.

    If this were the case, why would there be such popularity with dating sites and apps all aimed at facilitating casual sex amongst a significantly time constrained populous?

    I think there is some confusion between "conventional wisdom" and reality when it comes to the discussion of casual sex.

    I for one, have no issue with casual sex amongst consenting adults. That said, I am in a deeply committed relationship, and in such a relationship do believe monogamy is the way the go. Outside of such a relationship, go for it.
     
    #2 OnTheHighway, Nov 21, 2014
    Last edited: Nov 21, 2014
  3. skiff

    skiff Guest

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    Sheesh... lots of casual sex in gaydom... is it part of homophobia?

    LGBT is enjoying the forbidden fruit and society deems gaydom bad because it is having casual sex...

    Multi pronged issue but is it there...

    Is a gay pride float with sex as the theme an open expression of "in your face" society and your STUPID morality...

    If so... i just did a 180 on those floats...

    ---------- Post added 21st Nov 2014 at 03:43 AM ----------

    Hi,

    Keep in mind I am 56 years old, burdened with a Catholic foundation that twists my nature back on itself.

    I think possibly the only aspect of the dogma I failed to shed was the bug-a-boo about casual sex...
     
  4. OnTheHighway

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    There is more casual sex amongst heterosexuals! Statistically, there must be :slight_smile:

    Re your Catholic foundation, I think you just proved my point......
     
  5. skiff

    skiff Guest

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    For the record...

    I do believe in a powerful source that intersects all aspects of creation. I do believe unconditional love is the answer.

    I just do not see it in organized religion.

    I could never reconcile belonging to a rekigion that rejects me in hindsight.

    ---------- Post added 21st Nov 2014 at 04:05 AM ----------

    Hi,

    I agree 100% in process of mind reset....

    Yes, social moraility on sex is odd...

    The stereotypetype is a son is admired for "scoring", while a girl is "easy". A son scores with a girl great, a son scores with a guy shame. Very twisted. Very convoluted.

    What straught society does and thinks are very different stories. Not reality based but perception based.

    Thanks for the input.

    ---------- Post added 21st Nov 2014 at 04:17 AM ----------

    To retain "belonging" to the herd people conform to societal perceptions and conventions.

    Being gay gets us tossed out which frees us to evaluate social perceptions and conventions on their intrinsic merits.

    Being an outsuder to society is a blessing. It is liberation. Doesn't matter the basis of the social discrimination it is freeing from societal shackles when viewed properly.

    Cool.
     
  6. skiff

    skiff Guest

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    If all the oppressed (discriminated against) united (much like the LGBT have) imagine the progress that could be made.

    Blacks, hispanics, immigrants, LGBT, x-cons, drug users, etc (all demographics tossed out by social convention) think of the leverage...

    All these groups have vision into the fallacy of societal "morality" and should be united.
     
  7. OnTheHighway

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    Wow, how did we go from a discussion on casual sex to Anarchy?
     
  8. skiff

    skiff Guest

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    Hi,

    It is all related. It is based in socially conforming for social rewards versus expression of self.

    Look at how family, church and government treat the instituion of "family". It is as if there were no societal rewards for conforming to the rules and getting the perks of conforming humans would stop breeding, stop loving, and stop caring.

    Why should anybody have to marry to get a tax break? Why should a person need to have a child to get a tax break? Why should a church have to bless a union? Why does a family spend $6,000 to celebrate a marriage of people who have been screwing for years?

    It is all pats on the head for conforming and suppression of self.

    You can disect any social group this way.

    Obey the church and you belong, you are loved, you go to heaven and meet god. There are are zillion permutations.

    What is wrong with anarchy if people are living in love and peace? Why does the word anarchy inspire negativity just like gay does?

    It all goes against the power structure maintained by conformity.

    You/we are here, in the closet, in denial, in pain, suffering our lives away due to conformity and the fallacy of social rewards it represents. That is how we got to anarchy.

    I am a hippie! Hurray I finally made it!!!! I think it surpasses being "out"!

    ---------- Post added 21st Nov 2014 at 05:21 AM ----------

    What a great whiteboard of thought...
     
    #8 skiff, Nov 21, 2014
    Last edited: Nov 21, 2014
  9. OnTheHighway

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    Skiff, your on a role today!
     
  10. Cool Bananas

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    I get the impression you are trying to over think it;

    if you are horny go and log on to an app and get some.

    I think part of the gay culture is that casual sex was the norm whether it is or it isn't is because 2 guys couldn't marry so there would be nothing to keep the relationship going, where children can keep you busy because you are married; whether gay or straight you didn't have time for casual sex but if you weren't in a relationship then more chance to play and I guess guys have a higher sex drive than woman.

    If you weren't so far away I would come over and play with you.
     
  11. skiff

    skiff Guest

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    No, no... I am way beyond gay and sex now... whole world view just shifted...

    I would come and play in your sandbox too. What a dope I was.

    Who is having fun and loving life, the ones in the mud or the conformists watching?

    [​IMG]

    You can be sure the conformists joy comes from watching "crazy" people while they conform.

    ---------- Post added 21st Nov 2014 at 06:07 AM ----------

    [SIZE="6]"We (people) spend way too much time seeking consensus, approval and doing what makes others happy to earn a crumb of affirmation, while sacrificing our happiness on the alters of others expectations.[/SIZE]

    I have used that as my signature a long time. The full weight of it hit home today. It was iruginally anger, then revelation, now a life plan.

    Who needs a hug?:kiss:[COLOR="Silver"]

    ---------- Post added 21st Nov 2014 at 06:08 AM ----------

    [/COLOR]"We (people) spend way too much time seeking consensus, approval and doing what makes others happy to earn a crumb of affirmation, while sacrificing our happiness on the alters of others expectations.

    I have used that as my signature a long time. The full weight of it hit home today. It was iruginally anger, then revelation, now a life plan.

    Who needs a hug?:kiss:
     
    #11 skiff, Nov 21, 2014
    Last edited: Nov 21, 2014
  12. Yossarian

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    Nature imbeds you with the desire to do what you need to do; society trains you to do what others want you to do for their benefit; nature usually wins in the long run.
     
  13. OnTheHighway

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    I think this thread needs a new title now :slight_smile:
     
  14. Choirboy

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    They both are, actually. There's nothing wrong with enjoying being in the mud, but there's also nothing wrong with being entertained by those in it either. We're not all required to take joy out of the same things. If we demand "nonconformity", aren't we in a sense actually just demanding conformity of a different kind?

    I think that one of the biggest general problems with our society is the notion that a) "Someone else" is responsible for all of my problems; and b) "Someone else" is responsible for fixing all of them. We sit around like turtles turned upside down, whining about how we've been messed up by religion or hateful society or homophobic bullies or Republicans, and completely ignore the fact that often a large part of our problem is not really the "bad people", but with how we take their bullshit to heart, rather than laughing it off, ignoring it and moving on. Instead of improving our lives, we wait for or demand some nebulous special person to do it for us, or we just complain that everyone hates us, when the reality is a lot more uncomfortably close to WE hate all of THEM.

    I have a whole laundry list of things I've dealt with over the years - bullying, parents from families that had physical and alcohol abuse, being raised Catholic (which seems to be regarded by many here as far worse than even being raised by wolves or feral cats), and unexpected and devastating deaths in every generation. I could easily sit here and whine that all of those issues conspired together with societal homophobia to drive me into the closet, and to a certain extent it would be true.

    But there are plenty of people who went through the same things who managed NOT to end up married and closeted for decades. And there are some who went through the same things and became vicious abusers or sexual predators. In the end, you do have the power to allow some scar tissue to form and move on, rather than picking at the old wounds and keeping them open for decades. I've made a lot of progress in the past 2 years, and it's all come from taking charge of my life and making positive changes to move forward, not by endlessly spinning my wheels and over-thinking all of the things that have hurt me over the past 53 years.

    Kind of way off of the original topic of casual sex, but I guess I'm a little late to this party! Where casual sex is concerned, it's definitely not just a gay thing any more, and I doubt that it ever was. Guys have been patted on the back for "scoring" as long as there have been penises, and when guys prefer playing with guys, the testosterone quantity is squared rather than doubled, especially since there was no legal way to encourage some semblance of monogamy. I suspect that as gay marriage becomes more widely accepted, we'll see that, like straight men, the more monogamous gay men like myself will have more opportunities to be monogamous, and the ones who aren't will continue to have casual sex, although perhaps their pool of partners may shrink a bit because the ones like me will have better opportunities to pair off and pull themselves out of circulation. Perhaps in the end there will be far less of a distinction between being gay and being straight, because we'll all be playing by a much more similar set of rules.

    Personally, I'm hoping that eventually being gay may not be any kind of a deciding factor in how I'm perceived by others. (Although personally I'm more than willing to be seen as just a little more fabulous than the the average straight guy!) But that can't happen if we spend out lives convincing ourselves how different and isolated we are by evil society, when in reality, we're the ones working overtime trying to isolate ourselves.
     
  15. White Knight

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    I am not against casual sex. It is up to indivudal if they can emotionally or physically carry burden it brings.

    Yes sex is fun and good but after a time all those faceless bodies, organs who they belongs you can't remember pile up and you start to ask where was the fun and good in sex.
     
  16. Black Raven

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    Fuck Skiff, don't be daft - Don't post when you're high.
     
  17. OnTheHighway

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    Too Funny! U said what we all thought :slight_smile:
     
  18. CyclingFan

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    I've been away for a while and I have to say...

    Who are you and what have you done with our skiff? :slight_smile:
     
  19. Genesman71

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    Well, I am a newbie guys!! When I came out of the dark, deep closet two years ago, I was told that I just wanted to have sex with men. I was in a Church (another hiding place) and the only determining factor for my continued membership is based on whether or not I planned to have sex as a gay man. So I am no longer a member. In any case, the straight society focuses on the (casual) sex aspect of gaydom too much, as well as the immorality of it all. In any case, there is more to life than the sex. Perhaps I am too naive?? Am not a prude, as I love sex just as much as the next man.
     
  20. Wildside

    Wildside Guest

    glad to see the thread finally get back to the topic of casual sex. personally, I hate dressing up for anything. Formal just isn't my style, sorry. Black tie, white tie, any kind of tie at all is just torture. So I can't imagine sex being any other way than casual. Naked is even better!