casual sex?

Casual sex is absolutely fine as long as it's safe and consensual.

 

It's not for me, I'd never do it, but I don't see any moral reasons against it.

 

There is absolutely nothing wrong with casual sex. As long as it is A) consensual and B) done with safe-sex procedures.

One thing I've noticed in my experiences is that guys (it could just be the part of America that I live in) tend to be more receptive to it than the gals. In fact, I haven't been able to convince a girl to do it yet. Still, people are people and I have to respect that.

 

I agree on both counts. that matches my experience. I guess one of the things that I really like about being gay is the openness to guys to casual sex. and yeah, that phrase is kind of strange, but I guess we understand what we're referring to here

 

I had casual sex this weekend, actually the first sex I've had in months and I felt so wonderful and alive! Is that a bad thing? I suppose I could say it was selfish because I am officially still married but I put my guilt and self loathing on the shelf and just let myself go. No regrets - i am still on cloud nine.

 

I don't like the idea of it myself... I believe in building a relationship before we... "do" it, because I don't feel physically turned on to somebody unless I've built a strong relationship with them? ...Is that demisexual? Never looked up full definition of the word, but I have nothing wrong with other people having casual sex regardless.... Just leave me out of it please!

 

I have to admit that I really love casual sex, TT2, and I know how you feel. I don't have sex with my wife at all, but if you're still sexual with her than there are those safety issues to keep in mind, but I'm sure you already know that.

 

I've had exactly one one-night stand and have never felt the need to do it again. the girl I was with lived with some friends of mine and had been chasing me for a while. one night we all went out to a bar, went back to their house and played quarter-bounce till we were all plastered. I gave my friend my car keys and that's when she made her move. I enjoyed things physically, but knowing she had feelings for me that I couldn't return, coupled with a really nasty hangover, really soured the whole thing for me.

I certainly won't say it's something that should never happen, as long as no one gets hurt in the process.

 

Wow. I was gonna post something about casual sex being a no-no for women, but totally condoned for straight men, while being decried for gay men.

But then deep into page 1, someone passed me a brownie, and...damn...I can't remember what I was going to post any more.

Why is the snow *so* white?? Hey, some casual sex sounds good!

 

I think casual sex is tolerated (and even celebrated) when it involves heterosexual men. When a woman has casual sex, she's automatically a "slut", but when a straight man does the same thing, he's a "ladykiller" or in the process of "becoming a man."

That being said, I find the idea of having a root canal to be more pleasurable than sleeping with someone I'm not insanely in love with, but I don't care what other people do in their bedrooms as long as it's between consenting adults.

 

Nobody ever tells me the rules until it's too damned...too damned... *sigh*

 

Hi Wildside, I haven't had sex with my wife for almost two years now but in that time I have had sex with men - all safely of course and all with a lot of guilt afterwards. The guilt is one of my biggest motivations for coming out actually as I can't stand it anymore.

 

I stopped having sex with my wife a half-dozen years ago and began having sex — lots of sex — with men about a year later. However, it wasn't until I fell in love with a man that I even began contemplating coming out. It still took me another year to actually come out.

 

I rarely say look to France as an exemplar of anything except food and art; but before we get too carried away by anarchy, let's take a look at marriage. First, it is a religious sacrament for those who believe and a social contract for the legal reasons (i.e. preserving wealth). In France, one is married by the state and has nothing to do with religion. One can then have a religious ceremony should they desire. By the state taking care of marriage, there are no moral ramifications. Monogamy or not, the contract is there to protect property and children. This is what the States should do and skirt the religious issues altogether.

As to casual sex, how should it be defined. Anonymous, polyamorus, friends with benefits. I imagine that it up to the individual what the can tolerate without damaging their own ego. I myself can't imagine the toll that it would take on myself esteem, but I have been conditioned to think this way. Good Anglican stock and all.

Just a little extra to think about.

 

I've never been against casual sex, ie sex without necessarily having an emotional bond.

In fact, when I was younger, I pursued it with as much gusto as a geeky, socially awkward, tall, skinny insecure kid can do. Not successfully. I probably would have done anything with anyone, if only I'd been approached.

As to now that I'm separated, I've not had any sex yet. I've been horny enough to want a hookup, but emotionally I'm just not there yet (the slutty stage of divorce.) I do have a bit of a following on some of the social sites from bottoms of all ages who are hot for me. That is gratifying in itself, having guys hit me up and say I'm handsome/cute/hot. Some of them before they even see a picture of my most popular feature (you know that thing down there LOL ) I've joked that if I'd have had social media when I was growing up, I would have been a popular bi-slut...

I don't know if I'll be engaging the slutty side of me during this divorce process. I don't know if casual sex is really for me. And I've already got a huge emotional crush on my roommate. I wouldn't mind trying out a serious relationship with him. Not sure how he would feel if I were bringing guys by the apartment occasionally. That part of right now is just very confusing for me.

 

If that's what you and another person wishes to do, fine by me. I won't judge. However if it's the sort of 'casual' sex behind a partner's back, then hell no!

---------- Post added 3rd Dec 2014 at 07:47 AM ----------

Also it's that community vibe of "that person is a *****..." If it gets out. Be safe also!

 

I've started challenging my old beliefs and wonder why society has to tell me casual sex is wrong. If I am completely honest, I enjoy it--it feels good, it feels good to make someone else feel good and it's nice to bond with someone else; so what's wrong? Why is feeling good wrong?

 

I've read lots of books on gay topics, from techniques, to medical treatises, to wives of gay men, to novels. And one thing that I read is that many time a gay man in a heterosexual marriage will struggle for years in the closet, or on the "down low" (another book I ready), but when he falls in love with another man, that is when he will come out. I guess the power of that love is the one thing that can finally crack the closet open

---------- Post added 3rd Dec 2014 at 09:39 PM ----------

This is a good turn in the conversation. I think that people who like casual sex are going to have it (HELLO!); and people who don't like or, or have some moral issues, are not going to have it. I don't think that people sit around in deep thought and make some logical decision if they want to give in to their wild side, or if they what to be a model of monogamy. so the real issue is exactly what skiff said. We need to have a good concept of how to approach casual sex safely BEFORE the opportunity comes up. Because it is when that opportunity comes up that we will just react however we will react, and if we haven't worked out the safe sex issues ahead of time, we're probably going to go with what our partner wants. and believe me, most of the people who will post on their on-line profiles that they "ALWAYS practice safe sex" don't want to put on a hood when the moment comes. :eusa_doh: