Am I gay?

Amazing. This is the struggle of so many.

 

Absolutely brilliant!

 

Wow, guess I'm still trying to separate ideology from attraction...

 

Jake...that was amazing! wow! I guess it helps me know what i should do with my girlfriend

 

This is amazing

 

Beautiful. Really, beautiful.

 

I've been having a lot of trouble with this lately. For years going through my head I was oblivious and ignored obvious signs of attractions toward other males. I just kept telling myself I'm not gay. I'm not gay. However on a recent night for two hours battling in my head the thought the painful thought that I'm not gay. I stopped and said okay I might be gay. I also tried to think of some grand scheme to have a chance to prove that I'm not gay but, in reality I know I'm gay. Reading your post I was just in awe struck and thinking this is all absolutely true. It's true the desire to want to be straight, want to have the ideal wife and family, and the want to not be ridiculed or hated for being gay was overwhelming. The fact is though I can't change who I am. I was 90% sure I was gay already and was trying to bargain my way out with some "brilliant plan." Now I know I'm gay and will try my best to accept, enjoy, and live with it. Thank You

 

Fantastic post, this is me right now...dealing with these feelings!
This helped a lot, so thank mate

 

This is a great post and although I am married this has started to help me accept my own position.

 

I really like your writing and your post.

It's just that I have some ?s.

Do you think anyone is bi?,

Do you think there are people who are "Hetero-romantic", (attracted romantically to women, and sexually aroused more "purely" with men)?

do you think Bi-sexuality is a faze if the sexual feelings toward either sex are confused?

Are your feelings about male and female bisexuality the same?

I'm stuck by the clarity of your post, but it makes me feel disturbed because I am concerned about myself.

I don't want to know if you think i should just "be gay", but I would like some answers to the above ?s from someone who has your level of comfort as well as clarity.

 

Very nicely put. Brilliant!

Isn't it incredible what we go through; what we put ourselves through? All of this struggle within ourselves makes us extremely critical of ourselves, but also overall very analytical and complicated people. Questions bring up vague answers, which lead us to ask more questions to ourselves. Always questions and never any real answers, and it seems like our whole lives are spent never really understanding all of this. So often I envy straight people for being "normal" in that they don't wake up with this confusion and constant analysis trying to figure out who they are. Sure they have their own struggles, but for them it's easy; they go out and know who they want and what kind of life they imagine sharing with someone. When they get a crush all they have to be concerned with is whether that person likes him or her or not. We, on the other hand, have the added complication of whether they have the ability to like us back or not. So we spend hours thinking over every little thing they do and say hoping they may feel the way we do somewhere deep inside.

I know life isn't fair, but is it really so unfair that we have it so hard? Why is our struggle so different? Love for us is a very different game.

 

Did I say something wrong here? Can I delete my previous post?

 

<3

 

The thread is nearly 10 years old...

 

But I posted a response to it that was not 10 years old.

 

Likethat you really express your feelings!

 

Shortened version: go to the beach and look around. Then see who catches your eye; guys or girls or both. Enjoy.

 

Can understand this. I don't want to be gay either. Nothing to do with family or religion...I just want to be normal.

---------- Post added 15th Jul 2016 at 01:13 PM ----------

It's tearing me to shreds actually this whole internal debate. Sexual I think I'm gay or bisexual, I can definitely get off to gay porn and sex with other men. But romantically and emotionally, I can't think of anything worse than being in a relationship with a guy. Just doesn't appeal to me whatsoever. In fact I would be extremely happy in a normal relationship, with a woman and to have children naturally, loving them and my girlfriend/wife until I die.

So it seems I've got an awful choice. Live in denial and lie to a woman (unfair on everyone), or live with a boyfriend (an idea which repulses me), or live alone and die alone. Depression is slowly taking over more and more of my life. I envy straight people so much.