What was your reaction when you found out your orientation?

When I found out that I'm gay, I could not accept it. I was in denial for many years and did everything I could to repress it thinking that society would frown upon me and that my asian traditional family would scorn me and tell me I'm cursed.
Once I finally decided to accept and started researching and sought online support and YouTube videos, I felt less alone in this world and realized I could still fall in love and still have a bright future and still become anything I put in mind of. What really released all the anxiety and sadness out of my life is when I stopped viewing myself in the eyes of everyone else and finally realized that I can never satisfy everyone's expectations of me.

Moe
__________________
"You must be the change you wish to see in the world."

 

I was 20 and it hit me like a freight train when I walked into my local coffee shop and the blond blue eyed guy behind the counter asked me what I wanted and I said "A mocha latte" but I thought "you, naked, in my bed."

I'd always had funny feelings about guys - to the point where I had erotic fantasies about being with guys non-sexually...hard to explain. I didn't have any other boys around to experiment with, or anyone to talk to really, and gay just wasn't an option I'd thought of.

I went out to my car with my coffee and thought...I'm gay...and everything makes so much more sense now. I've gone through my struggles but have never doubted or regretted dating guys

 

I got happy and angry at the same time.

 

It was a crap couple of months when I found out I was trans. I just kept telling myself that it was fake, and when I realized it wasn't, I just thought there was something wrong with me. I think I knew I was bisexual from a young age and I've just accepted that part of me. But the trans part is harder because I see myself as a guy and when people call me 'she' or 'her' it kind of throws me because I'm kind of like 'who are they talking to?' and then it hits me.

 

I was really scared and freaked out at who I was. After I knew who I was I was trying to like guys again to see if it was true and it turns out it is true that I am a Lesbian all I gotta do is be comfortable at who I am

 

I don't think there was really a specific moment where I all of a sudden knew I was gay. It was more of a gradual discovery process that started in high school and went until college.

I guess when my gay feelings were the strongest was when I was in a relationship with a guy. Don't get me wrong, I loved the guy. Truly, I did. I just could not get myself to want to have sex with him. I wanted to want it because that's just what couples do. They have sex. The fact that I didn't want to ever have sex, but instead wanted to sleep with this one girl sooo bad, scared me. It made me sad. Here was someone that I loved, but didn't want to be physical with. It hurt both of us. Lots of depression going on around that time.

I'm perfectly okay with being gay.

 

"Huh.. Okay then." And then I went on with my life xD

 

Pretty much an emotional break down turning me into a nervous wreck. I'm awsome now though, so I don't care anymore.

Happy days

 

I had thought I was bisexual since I was about 14/q5 I'm not really sure exactly. I used to have a fantasy about being in a polygamous relationship with my at the time girlfriend and another guy. I noticed that pretty much all I thought about in that fantasy was recieving anal sex, but I didn't make any connection. Earlier this summer I realized, and I was honestly quite happy. I feel really special because I'm different. I don't think I'm better than straight people or anything, it's not like that. There's been a lot of confusion, and there still is, but I know who I really am, and I'm not ashamed.

 

I cried when I realized I was attracted to women , when I found out I was lesbian , I was a little sad at first but it made me happy because it explained a lot about how I left in my past .

 

It's taken me a while really wrap my head around, and I'm not quite sure where on the Kinsey scale I am, but the first time I even considered it was in bed, trying to fall asleep, contemplating the meaning of life and whatnot (what else do people do before falling asleep ) and it just kinda hit me... girls seem kinda attractive... wait... Am I lesbian? And immediately after this thought the other side of my brain told that side to be quiet and tried to stamp out that thought, but it kept sneaking back... and here I am two years later. I was pretty upset at first, but when I realized I still found guys attractive it calmed me down a little. Now I'm happy that I know because it explains a lot about my childhood and why I'm a little different than all my friends seem to be.

 

Err it was pretty much always there, so there was no such acute reaction.

 

"Weeeeeeee!" *In a very positive way*

 

I just felt alone.
Wish this forum was around when I was a kid.

 

At first I felt like I was weird and different, but it didn't take long at all to accept myself and realise that I am far from being the only one.

 

"I'm facing NORTH?!" :eek:

:lol:

I guess in response this would be mine:

http://gifrific.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/Joey-Tribbiani-Oh-My-God-Realization.gif

 

I was really scared, but that was more because I had a giant crush on my best friend than the fact I was crushing on girls.

 

I panicked because I was unaware one could like boys and girls, then my dad told me what bisexual was and in my head I was like "ok it exists". The term wasn't really fitting to me and I couldn't really figure out why, and that's part of the reason I never came out. Then my camp counselor was explaining why she identified as pan and I was like "yup dats me". Basically I am not attracted to any gender specifically, so I wasn't really "attracted to both boys and girls" as bi was described. That counselor was awesome and taught me so much about my sexuality, gender roles, and non-binary gender (which I had known about, but I learned a lot more about it, and the whole spectrum of gender). I already knew most stuff since I was already like 10/11 but sexuality wise she really helped me out, even if she didn't know it.

 

I started out assuming I was Bisexual, because I was strongly interested in females, but because of the way I was raised I thought I still needed to try liking boys even though I never had liked them. I was totally a-okay with thinking I was Bisexual, because I mean, at least that meant I still technically liked boys. Then after I dated a guy and he broke up with me for some other girl I began to try to figure out why the break-up didn't really bother me like it should have, according to the people I knew. It was around that time I realized I was actually never into men in the first place, I had just convinced myself that I NEEDED to like boys because that's what everyone I knew expected of me. I was really scared when I accepted the realization, but nowadays I feel like its a completely normal thing, and it actually makes me uncomfortable when people act like its a big deal ^^;

 

But they said it is wrong at Church! Oh no!
Fortunately I no longer attend that Church...