When you were in denial, what made you think you weren't what you are?

The fear of being rejected, disappointing my family, and friends. I keep serprissing these feeling towards the same sex.Even as far as having girlffriends. But they all suspected that I'm most likely gay.

 

"I just admire her"
"I just want to be her"
"It's not my fault that the women I know are more attractive than the men I know"
"Men are just immature"
"I just want an older sister figure"
"All women prefer women; they're only with men because they want children"

What made me realise that I was actually (mainly) gay was a conversation with my straight friend. I really truly had believed that it was normal for women to have crushes on other women - I thought they just ignored them and dated men instead. However, she said that she had never had a crush on a woman. I was shocked!!!! I couldn't understand how anyone COULDN'T have had a crush on a woman! And then I realised that perhaps the fact that I fell for women meant that I wasn't straight.

 

You literally just described the last 3 years of my life! :lol: This still goes on in my head sometimes!

 

"What are you thinking, you have kissed boys for a while and now you just think you are a lesbian? You fake" and then i started "dating" a guy and we would hang out, and quite frankly, after this guy I was like "who am I kidding, I don't wanna date guys, I like them as friends, obviously". I actually kind of liked this guy because we had a lot in common, although he was kind of a jerk to me in the end. But it doesn't even matter, he made me open my eyes to my sexuality, so I'm really happy that he was in my life.

 

I was stuck in the "I'll grow out of it" phase.

 

I thought just liking a guy as a friend meant I had a crush on him.

 

this! I had forgotten about that one.... ooh awkward memories haha.

 

I couldn't deny that I liked men, but I tried to convince myself that I might be bi by thinking about attractive female friends and telling myself that I felt something for them. As infrequent as this was, I told myself that it was true for a long time before I realised that I could never imagine having a romantic or sexual relationship with a girl.

 

Parsley and Tetraquark, both of you summed up so many of my own thoughts! As for the late bloomer idea, that's what I thought, too, until it kept going on way too long.

 

"Don't worry, Self. All girls thinking about boobies and lesbian sex this much" :lol:

 

That was me as well. Stuck for years!

 

I know exactly how you feel. Been there.

 

My denial would be like:
you don't understand the girls/women, how could you call yourself lesbian.

in general, I'm very socially awkward, rather nerdy, and lack of interest for human.

 

- Well, guys can become girls but girls can't become guys
- You don't REALLY want to look like that, you're just a little overwhelmed by how attractive you find him
- It's normal to be uncomfortable with how you look, you just need to be more confident, learn to like what you have
- a lot of kids play at being the opposite sex, just because you did that doesn't necessarily mean anything
- I'm too cute to ever be a guy anyway
- You are literally sitting here crocheting, you find football confusing, you must be a girl
- It isn't like you even know how to be a guy
- other people think I'm feminine, so I must be deluding myself

 

I aint complaining if theres more cute guys in the world :eusa_danc

 

I totally knew I was gay by around age 15 but I thought it was because of my interests so I started to change my entire personality. This I say was very damaging for me.

 

I was browsing this site and stumbled across this thread. This thread speaks much louder than any, "Am I?" thread on this site. It makes denial hard to deny.

It would be wasting a rare moment of ... something if I didn't say some things now before I become a 23 year old coward again.
I do not have a friend coming over thursday that I have a developing emotional bond with. I never wonder if she... is. I do not day dream about the tattoo she wants on her thigh..and I would never want to hold her hand while we watch Dr. Who or Jane Austen movies. You could not cut the ... electricity with a knife the last time we hung out. I wouldn't be disappointed if...

 

Admires a guy: "Oh, okay, this is that crush thing people are always talking about."

Admires a girl: "Oh, this is that friendship thing people are always talking about."

Backwards. -_-

 

I just hope I'll be a cute guy!

 

Well, for me it was a bit different cause I can be considered bisexual and my initial feelings for men are way stronger than for women. I'm still figuring things out I'm leaning more to maybe a biromantic lesbian or just plain fluid.