What was your first gay experience like?

Pft. My friend's name was John. He was, looking back, my real gay friend at school. From 1* to 18 right through. Hey ho. Wonder what he's doing now. On a more positive note, everyday I feel more free. I feel like this does have an end. Be it writing about it, or finding a guy in a chance meet/bar/cafe. If I put myself in harm's way, something will happen. yehar. Actually I mean that more strongly than it came out....

 

Mines name was Johan, same thing, different flavour.

Its great that you are looking at those boundaries. Its good to have at times, but also good to let them go other times. I agree that one needs to start somewhere, some time one needs a bit of excitement to get the blood pumping. Putting yourself out there is risky... but it seems you are getting comfortable with the idea...

 

It is risky. And sometimes I have to rein the urge back severely. I stop short when I think of the real fallout and the peceived consequencie. But it doesn't stop me from looking over the dge of this cliff and wondering. Sometimes I just don't care if it all comes undone. Today I woke with that imaginary conversation going on between me and my wife. That conversation that's full of inevitable questions that ask "Ok, so that's how you feel. What do you want to do about it". I know what I would like in an ideal world, so I move on down the road, avoiding the rabbit hole or circling it, all the time thinking how long is the fall, and what happens when I get to the bottom. So. Instead of spending my life always wondering, I'm making small moves. Defending LGBT rights more openly. Walking into gay bars and ordering that drink. Looking more actively at men, to see if there is a response. And expecting those difficult questions at somepoint in the future, which I hope I can answer truthfully. Can't be grouching for the rest of my life, and I got to check back into the real world soon. Sorry, rambling again...it's great to have you there B, M

 

Well my 1st gay hook up happened in High School. I was friends with a girl I had History with and she told me her friend (a guy everyone knew was gay) had such a big crush on me. One day during lunch I said hello to her and he was there and he said hi to me. Nothing crazy but that afternoon I get a random text and it's him. He got my number from her and wanted to talk. We messaged back and fourth 2 days later I went over to his house because no one get home until after 6. It led to us kissing and touching and giving each other oral. It did scare me how much I was turned on.
But my 1st gay sex wasn't until after high school I was 18 and met this 36 year old black man online huge cock but was very lucky that he really knew how to relax me and turn me on and go slow and really made my 1st time very enjoyable that I fell in love with being a bottom

 

My first gay experience was when I was 21. An older man gave me a ride how and asked if he could stay at my place because he had had too much to drink. I fell asleep and he woke me up asking if I was ok. Apparently I was talking in my sleep. He asked me “is it ok? Do you mind?” I didn’t know what he meant and I said “No, I don’t mind”. He then started slowly rubbing my groin area and eventually pulled down the sheet and continued. After awhile he pulled down my underwear, with my help. I was a bit shocked and didn’t get erect. After a few minutes he leaded over and said “Just relax, I like you soft because you feel good”. The way he said that changed everything. It sounded so sincere and I was very relaxed and comfortable. I became erect and he performed oral sex on me for what seemed like an eternity. He was very masterful at not letting me orgasm. When he did it was the most intense orgasm I have ever had and he continued with oral stimulation the entirety of my orgasm. I believe that is why I have such a strong attraction to men. I have such tremendous pleasure with men, and rarely have had as much pleasure with women.

 

S

Sounds like it was amazing !

 

It was very amazing and I left a lot of it out.

 

there's more ?

 

There is more to the story that I wasn’t sure I could post due to the content.

 

I had experiences when young at camp that we explained as being curious and exploring. We played with each others genitals but didn’t have any idea what we were doing. I had forgotten about that until the question triggered the memories. I do remember feeling like, this is alright. Never told anyone and didn’t seem important one way or the other. I’m talking pre-puberty. Later in Jr. High and High school we posed ourselves after practices in the locker room playing with our genitals in front of the other team members. Great laughs but still no real excitement. In college it seemed different though. Not as open and free as when younger. Sex was becoming serious for us and we were more interested in pride than when younger. When I watched the other guys in the shower I would sometimes get an erection and run and hide myself. Very embarrassing. In college I had to keep my reputation in place. Scary to think about all the those I used and those who used me. What a waste. It seemed more about strutting and power than having an open and caring relationship with anyone and as usual I was always left feeling empty, My dream was to have a 3-some with a guy and a girl. Tried many times, but never put that together. Damn you guys are making me remember all this sh*tty stuff I put people through including myself. Seriously, thanks for that. I need to replay those ‘forgotten’ memories to get clarity about my past. This stuff is all part of what makes me who I am today. Wow!

 

Mmmm... I said camps are the culprits.. It always happens at those camps... wonder why?

(Not that I minded, couple of my best memories) ... but here we are ... picking the fruits.. so to say.

 

I never had any experiences when I was younger. I did have sex for the first time when I was 14 with my neighbor. We were both virgins and we used the withdrawal method of birth control. But I never had sex with a man until I was 21. One of the parts I left out was when I realized he was naked when he was giving me oral sex and I felt his penis bump up against my hand. I grabbed it with my hand and for the first time I was holding a man’s erect penis. I remember how hard it was and how big it was. While I was touching it a could feel he had foreskin and I have been fascinated with uncircumcised men since then. Even though I had no idea what to do at that point I started stroking him and he must have liked it because I could feel his penis get even harder and then I felt it pulsating as he orgasmed. 46 years ago and the memory of that night is still very clear in my mind.

 

Yep. It's vivid in my mind too. In all those years I know now, I have never been as turned on again like I was then. And now, the mere thought of that time together is enough to turn me on.

 

OMG more memories are being brought up out of nowhere! I’m now remembering the times 2 teenagers took my friend and I who were about 7 up in the attic of their parents garage and had us give them oral sex. Didn’t force us, just asked us to suck their dicks. Us being not intimidated proceeded to do just that. My fiend and I loved it. Couldn’t wait until next time. That went on until they graduated from high school and left for college. My friend and I tried it with each other but it wasn’t the same so we just stopped and moved on.
No wonder I’m okay with the idea of having sex with other men. I remember it felt so natural. Nothing odd about it at all. Thanks everyone for helping to pull these memories back up!

 

All of these boggle my mind, like how did this happen so easily, just as simple as breathing for you. What was so wrong with me to be wholly unwanted? (rhetorical, no response, just confusing and sad)

 

Well I’m doubting there’s anything wrong with you. I also repressed these memories for a very long time. In my 20’s I had drunk sex with guys. I remember enjoying it but never went beyond the initial encounter. Drunk sex is also dumb sex in my mind. Anyway I backed away and pretended there was no gayness in my life at all. I quit drinking and that ‘issue’ went away until I was in my 70’s. Now here I am knowing that I’m Bi and loving it. Just not knowing what to do with it. My marriage is at risk because I told my wife and who knows where that’s going. I’m okay wherever it goes, but I refused to pretend I’m not who I am anymore. It’s me and that’s my truth. I will present my true identity to the world (that sounds a little too dramatic). My choice. The choices are hard ones because they affect others and I have to find ways to move beyond that. I’m responsible or all that and I have to live with that. I can’t go back! Choices…….

 

You are so right!

 

Not an easy choice. Carefully choose your first experience and chance it. Will it ruin your marriage? Only if you think confession is good for your soul. We all have secrets and that is one you should choose to keep. Should an experience or ongoing relationship create doubt about your marriage then you have an important decision to make.

 

Fascinating. I understand your dilemma and feeling lost and floating ain't fun. Consider mood leveling medication. I am on two of them. I am in my sixties. My wife and I are solid but devoid of sexual intimacy. I would step out with guys for purely sexual pleasure but am not willing to risk exposure danger or disease.

Best of luck

 

Oh boy. You lot are cheery tonight! Me, I'm busy messaging a masseur who offers services. That should provide some desperately needed entertainment. I'm with you Milquetoast - no need to salve my soul on this...