What Made You First Realize You Were Gay(LGBT)?

I once had the habit of having subjects to be the inspiration behind my stories and there were these two classmates of mine (a couple actually) who caught my attention those days. One was a very good-looking boy and the other was a young,vibrant girl. I often had dreams with choosing between both of them but I can't make a concrete decision. That was what made me realize I just have to be bisexual.

 

When I was about to move houses in 4th grade, my friend came over one last time to play video games. Long story short, I realized I wanted to kiss him (but didn't), and that's when I realized that I liked boys.

 

Well I always knew I liked men, but didn't know what exactly that meant. When I watched cartoons as a kid, it was He-Man's muscles and voice that made me feel comfortable. None of the animated ladies did it for me.

Later in junior high, I remember I had a better understanding of what it was to be interested in men, but it wasn't until one night when the family were all sitting around watching tv and I was looking at my "Baywatch Panini Sticker Album" and filling in the blank squares with those little screen cap stickers that my silly old aunt comes up beside me and asks in the sweetest little voice "So, did you get that book for the women, or the men?"

We both smiled at one another, and that was that. I knew she knew, and I knew I was anything but straight. No one else knew what she had asked, and we never discussed it further. I kind of wished that we did...

 

I started realizing that I was curious about men in the locker rooms during middle school. We were all going through puberty, gaining muscle and size...down there...and were always horny. It got to the point where I was springing boners as I was getting dressed, and so I had to start conditioning myself for whenever I went into the locker rooms. That, and I was attracted to my friend Trevor, and a guy named Branden.

 

It wasn't ever really a one minute "HOLY GODZILLA I'M GAY!" thing. It was either being a child discovering Sport's Illustrated, or as a teenager with another teenager girl straddled on top of me on a large bed joking around about all the dirty things she was going to do to me with the other 3 girls in the room. I had to shove her off before the rest of the room figured out how much I wanted that. AND that time when my friend flashed a guy on ************ and wanted right then to tackle her to the ground and... eh.:eusa_danc

Those were heavy hints, but it was when I fell in love with my best friend and spent my days trying to get as CLOSE as possible without touching her, that was it. She admitted to loving me back one night, and woohoo! I love cuddling...

 

I have always had indicators. However the tipping point was a nasty argument with the minister. It was exhausting and distressing. The minister was incredibly arrogant and very hard to deal with. Over the weekend my mind dealt with it by revisiting the number of sexual fantasies about women. However the feelings I had were stronger. This disturbed me and I tried to put the feelings out of the mind. I tried to tell myself I was straight and this wasn't me but my ability to do so grew weak. Then I started toying with the idea that was gay. Soon I voiced the inevitable, I was gay. Suddenly the fight was over and my body was filled with excitement and nervousness. My mind was relieved. The desires of my heart finally won over my mind. Over the few days after that I realised my sexual orientation had finally matured, and there was no longer a need to ask myself. It has been the most powerful experience of my life

 

Really..nothing? It always just sorta...WAS. Ever since my earliest memory I knew how I felt, I just didn't really know what it was or what it meant. It became clearer once I was taught about puberty and once I started...well, masturbating, haha. I started realizing what gay was and what that meant. That was actually the hardest time, for me, 11-13 cause my parents were soo religious, and even MORE bigoted back then than they are now, so for a while I thought I was evil until I started claiming my own mind at 13 and came out as an atheist the same year..

 

When I was at my friends place and he was changing his pants and did it in this joking striptease kinda way and I was just like "What is going on? Why am I liking this?". I didn't realize just then that I was gay but it was like an alarm clock... sort of.

 

When I was on the trampoline at my friends house back in Middle School and he just broke up with his boyfriend… I felt bad really bad and that’s when I knew I had feeling for him and we went out. I didn’t know what I was Bi or Gay at the time.

 

In my second, or maybe third, year of high school we had a timetable called venture week. We could pick a subject, and work on it for that week. I chose kites and balloons, and on my very first day saw this boy who just took my breath away: Spanish, tall (for his age), amazing skin, eyes, and perfect spiky hair.
We became friends and became inseparable for a time, lunching together and even meeting up at the weekend after, but we soon lost contact when the week was completely over I remember thinking, dreaming about him for months afterwards, and girls in my classes would look at me and see (and say) that I was in love. I would get very embarrassed and would blush in full view of my friends around the school tables, and that's when everything had to be pushed, squeezed to the back of my mind to enable me to move forward. I honestly didn't even know what gay was, I had no idea about sex or sexuality, but I knew 100% that I wanted to touch, to feel, and to hug this beautiful Spanish boy; unfortunately, I never did.

 

Well around the middle of eight grade I started to look at guys in a different way. I started getting more attracted to guys and less to girls. I tried to deny that I was Gay at first but that did not help. Eventually I learned to accept who I am.

 

I was very interested in women, like I'd see one and I stare ad struggle not to. I didn't understand that what I was feeling was attraction.

 

Well, the first thing that made me REALISE that I was gay was around Year 6 (I'm guessing that it could be compared to The last grade of Elementary School? I was 12.) when, in a multi-day trip, I imagined hugging and Rolling around on the floor with my best friend. I pushed those thoughts out, but they came back, and The same Trip, I DID Hug him in the disco when all the lights turned off.. It was worth the risk. Then it escalated to kissing, when I just 'felt' that something that I did not understand was happening. Love. ⌒.⌒

Then I realised that I WAS gay, and I joined EC.

...But there were other things I thought about too, which, being young, I thought everybody thought of, So back then I didn't realise.

 

I would usually ignore my attraction to guys and tell myself I'm only feeling jealous because they're cuter than me, I was trying so hard to supress it I ended up giving up on the idea of a sex life and became asexual.
Then in the army it started as a joke with a guy, then things got serious and I ended up discovering that I do like guys, and maybe it's not so bad.
Then I explored my sexuality with random guys from my town that I met on a dating site, and ended up discovering that I do like penis, but I hate guys :lol:
I would also not say no to a girl, but girls hate the 'twink' type of guys so exploring bisexuality is a bit out of the question. /mylife

 

First figured something was up in fourth grade. Had a friend that I starting crushing on (at the time, both of us were assumed to be female). Fantasized all the time about kissing them. Freaked me out because I was "supposed" to be a girl and "girls weren't supposed to kiss girls". Pushed my thoughts away. Fourteen, realized I was bisexual.

Didn't think I was transgender until earlier this year but figured something was up. I'd been doing a lot of readings about transgender people and gender dysphoria for novel research. Something seemed to click though I hadn't grown up living out a traditional trans* childhood. But I remember it clearly- One morning, after a shower, my thoughts had kind of wandered and I realized I wasn't a woman. More research, questioning, and introspection, and over the next few months came to terms with the fact I was FtM.

 

There was a pretty stressful time in my life when I was living with a couple of crappy roommates and working the graveyard shift at a Burger King. Needless to say, it sucked and I wound up smoking a lot of pot. Not a great situation, but it led to a lot of evenings laying in bed, looking up at the ceiling and generally being introspective. I liked to doodle a lot back then and one time after smoking a big ol' joint I started thinking about how I had learned to draw as a youngster. I drew things I liked, things I thought were cool and liked to observe. Started with animals, lions mostly and moved from there to dinosaurs and monsters, the standard stuff any young boy might draw. By the time I was in high school I was mostly drawing characters based off the comic books I had read, in other words a lot of muscular men. Out of high school whenever I did doodle it was still usually buff dudes; I had never really learned to draw women. Well that night the chain of things I liked to observe was pretty clear: lions to dinosaurs to dudes. It was quite an epiphany. There were a lot of other little clues throughout my earlier life, but that was the piece that made everything "click." I woke up the next morning sober and with a severe case of cottonmouth, but my thoughts from the previous evening remained as clear as ever.

 

I don't know. It crept up on me?

 

I was never attracted to anybody until my 13th Birthday. It was in July. That night, I somehow got on the dream of being with my "Perfect Person". I was first going with a female, but nothing exciting. Then, for fun, I tried a Male. It was scary at first, because I enjoyed it a lot, and I always thought that I would be Straight. But after a few weeks, I realized that it was true.

But recently, I've been thinking I'm Bisexual. The reason for this is being that I have recently been attracted to a girl at school, but only 1 girl. I know I like Males for sure, but then again, Females are still questionable for me. So, I just go with 'Kinsey 5: Bisexual, almost Gay'.

 

I'm thinking this. haha

 

I've always known that I liked girls, and early on would identify as straight but bicurious. I had my first experience with a guy when I was 14 when he was sleeping over. Later on in high school I really started to notice and think about guys more and more. Finally, about a year into college, I officially (though internally) labeled myself as bisexual, realizing that my same-sex desire was not just a 'phase'.

Fast forward about 6 years or so to this year, and I open the closet door