What Made You First Realize You Were Gay(LGBT)?

I've always had an attraction to boys but it wasn't offical to me until Halloween. That was when me and a friend of mine, who had just told me he was bi, fooled around that night. Needless to say it was one of the best nights of my life.

 

I guess I always knew but just always thought I would meet the right girl, that these feelings wouldn't matter and I would settle down with her, when I realised that wasn't going to happen I started coming to grips with what I really wanted, who I really find attractive and being honest to myself.

 

For a while I was stuck on whether I was lesbian or straight. I told one of my friends I had a crush on a girl, an hour later she asked, "so, does this mean you're bi?"
I'm thinking to myself: OHHHHHHHHH I FORGOT THERE WAS SUCH A THING.
I was young though, so :icon_redf I had only heard the term "bi" once before that in my entire life, and it was a few years before that.
I did know I was queer/LGBT for a while though. Just simply being attracted to both boys and girls on TV since I was like, 5 made me realize it.

 

It was very gradual for me, but I first started thinking about it in 6th grade i think. Didn't really dwell on it though. Then last year i started thinking about it more and more and just finally realized that im attracted to girls and that i want to be with girls.

 

When I was little, I was bullied at my catholic K-8 school because I didn't come off as "one of the guys." I always tried to fit in with the other boys and assure them that I wasn't gay. Apparently they knew before I did. Because I was exposed to the idea of "gay" early on, I knew it was what I was. I knew I didn't like the girls like the other guys did. But I always fought it. Everyone knew it as the worst thing you could be. I tried relationships with girls, and assured myself someday it would be a girl. I was taught it was a choice, but I tried to kill myself multiple times just because of that. Then I came to high school, and I was so lucky that this high school is such a loving and caring environment. I finally had to stop lying to myself. So i guess the compounding of having a terrible enviroment, and then transitioning to a loving, caring one really helped me realize that I was gay, and couldn't live a lie.

 

Well, I was about 11-12 years old and a friend of mine said something about porn and of course, being a curious child, I looked it up on the computer. After awhile I noticed I was spending more and more time focusing on the guys in the videos and eventually just started watching gay porn. I didn't really consider myself gay or anything, I just never really thought about it at that age. Eventually my mom found my searches and questioned me about it. I denied everything (stupid move, wished I had just came out then) and after that tried going out with girls, thinking that all that was just a "phase" (boy was I wrong lol). I had several relationships with girls and it never worked, no matter how much I tried to get into it my body wouldn't agree with me. I eventually went back to gay porn and accepted that I was, at the very least, definitely attracted to guys (I was crushing hard on my best friend at the time) but thought that maybe I could still be bi. After a few more relationships I finally accepted I was gay and am now perfectly fine with admitting it :icon_bigg

P.S. This is my first post/comment, glad I found this site, I've been looking for something just like this for a little while now!

 

always had feelings towards guys as long as i can remember as well as crushes on guys. as a kid, i believed in the whole idea that as a boy, i liked girls because that's what boys do. i pretty much copied off of what i saw on tv and people around me. i wasn't paying attention to my true feelings which explained everything. it was only when i was doing my favorite pasttime at 12 where it hit me that i was probably gay. i went into a whole entire period of denial trying to make myself straight where i tried to convince myself that i liked girls and denying my true feelings. ultimately after 12 years of fighting, denying, and being unsure of myself, i asked that question to myself. i also got feedback and advice from others including the friendly staff and fellow members on here in regards of getting myself to answer that question and the answer is listed in my orientation. i have to say that compared to a year ago, i feel like i'm finally being completely honest to myself. a year ago, i felt like there was an impending doom on my head where i felt like the whole straight identity that i was hanging on to was going to fall apart because i felt like someone was going to sense the insecurity i had with my sexuality and confront me on it. i felt like that every single time there was another gay guy that showed interest in me or a woman that was interested in me. i knew i was lying when i said to myself that i was straight.

 

In Grade 6 when i wanted to marry my best friend who was also a boy

 

For me it was when I used to hump this boy in the bathroom when I was in second grade. I really didn't think much about it then because I was 7, but I know it felt really good.

 

I posted earlier about coming out to my best friend. What I didn't write was how much I fantasized about his middle brother. He was two years younger than me, worked out constantly, and soon became a masturbatory obsession. He's married now with a kid, but still pretty hot looking. I don't think I'll be telling that part ever to my best friend.

 

For me it was the Jim Palmer ads!!

 

I don't remember when I finally admitted to myself that I really wanted to make another man feel good. The fantasies ran rampant for a long time but I never acted on them so I was always able to rationalize my "straightness" since I had always been with women. One night when lonely and a few cocktails boosting my courage I went to a gay bar and acted on those long standing urges and decided that I was most definitely gay. That was about 5 years ago after my wife had passed and I had no one that would be hurt if I ever opened up.

 

It was a pretty gradual process for me, and I'm still trying to work out the details. I didn't feel attracted to anyone until the end of 8th grade, so I didn't have anything to go off of before that. In high school again I only acknowledged being attracted to two people. Had I known about asexuality, I probably would have said that I was asexual.

Looking back now, however, I see that I was attracted to a couple more people; I just didn't recognize it as such because I assumed I was straight. Both of the people I knew I was attracted to were male, too, which made the whole matter a bit more complicated. Gradually I came to the realization that I could see myself dating another woman. In fact, the more I think about it, the more I think I prefer women over men.

 

I didn't really realize I liked girls until I had thoughts about a friend. But feelings to girls were always present; I was just pushing them away because it was "wrong." When I started having thoughts and fantasies about her, it was a freak out moment because there was no one to turn to about this; she was the person I talked to about stuff. I couldn't go up to her and say, "You made me realize that I like girls because I had a fantasy about you!" No, that just wouldn't work!

Being a boy...I don't really know when I was like, "I'm a boy!" (that sounded like Pinocchio! ). I just remember feeling...flamboyant (sorry if that's offending) when I was acting like a girl. It didn't feel right to me. And then came the dissatisfaction, memories, and strong desire to be a boy.

Anyways, now I'm not exactly closeted about my sexual attraction (just to my immediate family and some friends). But I am taming the mighty lion in Narnia when it comes to my gender.

 

I had met a boy (on the internet) and fell in love with him. Few weeks later I found out he was, in fact, a girl, and I didn't really care, I loved her anyway.

 

Diddos, I feel I have always known I was a lesbian....just never wanted to admitt it....

 

The first thing that made me feel different was when I was at a friend's house and he got on a chat room and we were pretending that we were a girl. It made me feel really good and I started doing it at home. It just made me feel... tingly and good. *shrug*

 

When I first cast eyes on Charleze Theron! :icon_wink

I think I've always known but when I first held my girlfriends hand I knew for sure.

 

People always told me that I have feminine-looking legs.

Then I realized I wasn't offended when they said that. I was happy when they said that.

 

First time I thought shit what if I'm gay, I was 13 and really wanted to kiss my sunday school teacher, embarrassing! But I kinda always knew