What do you think of the term "queer"?

Yes, to some extent. However, when things come around again, they get redefined or repurposed. It's sort of how some hipster fashion trends brought back things that had faded, but they came back in a way that was slightly different. That's what happened to the word queer. It now means something else. I don't think anyone under 40 uses it to mean something or someone is odd. I also remember the expression that someone might be "as queer as a $3 bill." I suppose there was some humor in that, but, mostly, it did not have a good meaning of any sort when I was growing up.

I don't like the words queer and quite a few others. It hasn't been mentioned, but I'm okay with the notion of sexual minority. It puts the point across, is broad enough, and isn't too scientific. I'm as comfortable using it as I am LGBT+. But most of the time I just say he's into men, she's into women, or a certain person is into both. That's also clear and doesn't add on any embellishment that they might look, act, or dress a little differently, so it picks up mainstream folks, who are really the majority among LGBT+, beautifully.

 

Sounds good and I think you're right that there are way more Kinsey 1-5 than we know. It would be great if many more said they like men and women like it's no big deal, which it really isn't, especially if everyone does it so we see how common. But they don't and know they can get away with sex and have their way on the dl, so why should they bother being honest and progress stalls.

 

I'm loving the term "K1-5." Perhaps we will soon be seeing recruitment ads for teachers to teach in those grades. J/K.

Yes, I can see what you're saying about how this group of people sort of fits into the jigsaw puzzle.

 

Lol I noticed the similarity too. Next thing you know the haters will say that's proof of the indoctrination plan!

 

For me as well, queer still brings back memories of playground (and home) insults.

I think it's convenient to have a word that means 'anyone who isn't both heterosexual and cisgender' but I also think that steamrollers over so many of the nuances of individual experience.

But then, I'm even moving away from the term 'gay' for myself! I really like the sound of one I heard recently that has been around for a while I think: 'men-loving men'. I don't know as I'd introduce myself like that, at least yet, but it feels like it sidesteps all the poiltical and ideological baggage that queer seems to have been saddled with.

I short, I think queer doesn't celebrate individuality (despite claiming to!) in that only certain types of individuality are 'allowed'.

 

Can you describe "normal" please.

 

I use the term “queer” the way it’s typically used by local LGBTQ community (albeit we spell it “kvīr”) - an umbrella term for anything LGBTQ-related that doesn’t have or doesn’t fit an already existing, established term; or if unsure what exactly term to use.

 

Queer feels like an alien term to me. It’s not something I’d feel comfortable using to describe anyone, and it definitely doesn’t fit me.

Tbh I don’t even really feel like part of an LGBTQ community - it feels like such a wide church that there can be more differences between people who fall under the umbrella than people who don’t. When I tried to go to an LBGT group at university it felt very exclusive and cliquey. There was some sort of comment made by one of the regulars, I didn’t quite hear it but it was something like ‘cheerleading is down there’ or ‘this isn’t cheerleading’ or something like that, the first time I showed up. I just felt like, damn, this is the absolute last place I thought I’d be judged. Took a lot for me to walk in the door on my own too. But yeah, I guess my face didn’t fit. There were a couple of gay lads that I got on with but that was it, I felt like an outsider amongst the women.

 

I just like the simplicity of it
( ' ,

 

I’m sorry you had such an experience in a place that was supposed to be supportive. Unfortunately, someone being LGBTQ doesn’t necessarily equal them being a good human being(s)

 

) ' ,
so sorry, JT!
People can and do suck - those who truly care are bright treasures!
( ' ,

 

I put it down to a defense mechanism - the girl (I presumed born female, probably into girls, maybe trans but not sure?) who made the comment looked and dressed male, she looked like a young boy. I dread to think of how much of a hard time they must have had growing up, probably from a lot of girls who look like I do. So yeah, I don't hold a grudge but it didn't make me feel very accepted there. I also didn't really share any of their interests, there was a lot of left wing politics. To be honest I didn't go there for any other reason than to meet some like-minded girls! I wasn't and never really have been in need of support or acceptance.

 

I'd put that down the ages of the people there rather than the fact they were LGTBQ+.

Jesus, when I look back at myself and the crowd I ran with at university! We were the most sneery, judgemental, downright difficult bunch of tossers you could possibly wish to meet. We thought we knew it all. And yet we knew nothing.

And then I grew up. Thank God.

Beth x

 

Yeah I think you're probably right there too.

 

Thank u rainbow.
Love that word "heteromormative".
And love that I'm not.
Have been gender non confirming all my life although i have failed to live my life truthfully in many ways.
I love the word queer.
Its quirky, vague, non descriptive and if it offends someone calling them that, thats like getting knocked over by a chupa chup.!
I dont like labelling of any kind in humans.
We are all unique souls and once people have a label, they becone a market to sell shit to.
Queer is also a good way to convey feelings and ways of being that cant be labelled or described

 

Thanks for that David. .

 

I like the word queer. It's not a word that was used against me, rather I tended to hear other derogatory terms. Lesbo, d**e that kind of thing. I will say though that even though such words were used against me, I don't feel any sting to them. It's nice that I'm at a point where there's no sting.

People tended to call me weird growing up. My so called former counsellor once became angry and asked why I couldn't just be normal. Not in regards to sexuality. Still, considering the original definition of the word queer - I like it even more. It's nice to just let go and think yeah, I'm weird. Nowt wrong with that.

However, I understand why not everyone likes the word.

 

Thanks C.
Love. "nowt wrong wit tat.."!

 

I'm neutral on it. Somebody else calls me that? Cool, even if they're trying to insult me because I love being this way <3 But I tend to use "bi" for myself as it's more specific. I might say "I love having queer friends" because of its broader definition, if everyone I'm talking about was okay with it.

Story about the word "queer" that made me feel things. I remember being in high school in ye olden days of 2008, and heard my teacher for JROTC (sort of a pre-military course in US high school) use the word "queers" in a derogatory sense. It kind of shocked me because although homophobia was frigging built into the culture at that time and DADT was US military policy, this was a kind and smart man, a retired high-ranking officer in the USAF, in charge of high schoolers. I was 0% out at the time but still felt a little betrayed. At the same time it figured he was very conservative as well. Thinking again about it though, he wasn't directly attacking "queers" more just describing them? He was talking with another student about the fauxhawk hairstyle and said he thought it was popular with queers lol. So I guess he might not have been actively homophobic, but it still made me feel weird.