What do you think of the term "queer"?

I want to clarify my last point to make clear that I truly value everyone in the LGBT++ movement and sincerely hope that everyone finds support, peace and contentment in their lives. What I was trying to say before I got too wordy is when a group gets so many individual components that it’s hard to do anyone justice and messaging becomes imprecise.

 

Yeah I would. For example: "How are we different? We just have a different skin colour. It shouldn't even matter. In the future, I would hope that it barely warrants mentioning."

That doesn't erase the differences between cultures or state that different groups don't have valuable things to say. It just acknowledges our shared humanity and removes as a defining feature some meaningless trait that the person didn't choose and can't change anyway. That's what progressivism looked like until five minutes ago. Now everyone is fixated on grouping people based on superficial traits again and it feels regressive and claustrophobic.

Because if we define ourselves as necessarily in opposition to the norms of society, then we're more likely to experience backlash. If we constantly insist that we're different, then chances are we'll be treated, well, differently. And it's irritating that I may be treated in this manner too, despite having no great urge to oppose or destroy.

Yeah I think that's right. I understand why a group that's been oppressed for a long time might want to do some oppressing of its own, but ultimately I think it's self-defeating.

 

OK, then what are you talking about? Because that's what I said was sad about losing was the notion that we had valuable things to say as a group and a culture that was worth preserving--and that seemed to upset you a great deal. I'm not sure what else you're getting at--I mean I don't have the 2.3 children but other than that, my life is pretty picket fence.

 

Once again, you are precisely correct.

 

I don't think I understand your question, sorry. Everyone else? As in all people groups? And by dominant culture, are you referring to American culture or White culture, or something else?

 

Which you implied was a bad thing. You said you felt "deeply sad" for falling "sadly short" of a "lofty and noble goal". What's the goal? To not be in a long-term relationship? To not be monogamous? I don't know what society in general is meant to learn from the typically unstable and short-term gay relationship. Maybe we have something to learn?

 

I have to admit the term 'queer' irks me. There's something of the ghetto about it, of off-the-peg lifestyle politics.

I'd like to think that aside from being a trans woman I'm pretty 'normal' (whatever that means). At least in London. I mean, I run, meet up with friends, go to pubs, go to the football. I hate the Tories. I don't need the strength and succour from the queer community. I've built my own community and they all accept me. And wider society should as well.

That's my tuppence' worth anyway..

Beth x

 

I use the word queer sometimes when I’m talking about the community at large and to describe myself in certain situations but I would never refer to someone else that way if they didn’t want me to or didn’t identify with that label.

 

I am not a fan. When I reached adulthood well before coming out, queer was still a slur and was only just starting to be reclaimed. If other people in the community want to use it to describe us and think it accurately describes them, more power to them, but I won't use it except in situations like this.

 

I have to wonder, after reading such a diverse range of opinions on this term within the community, who is in charge of what is and is not included in the growing acronym? I have to assume it begins in the entertainment industry or streaming community, but clearly it happens without a clear consensus or agreement over it. And if someone who is against one term or people group being part of the community, and they refuse to list the entire acronym in speech or print, does that make that person something phobia, or insensitive, or stubborn, or principled?

 

Yes, Wanderlost, you hit the central point! This ever expanding letter salad has become virtuely meaningless other than throwing all those that are other than “XX and XY” 23rd chromosome paired heterosexual whites of European extraction into the same basket.

 

To add and clarify the last post:

I have no disrespect or anything but best wishes for all but the interest of the LGB constituency of the large group is entirely different from the others. Our defining characteristic is our sexuality not our gender whereas others have such a diversity of life experiences whether it’s asexuality, pansexuality, gender dysphoria, or the amorphous term or queeism. Lately I’ve heard of the Furries wishing to be included. Sorry but no. As the LGBTQQ2AI2s++ movement has grown it has become much less relivent to all and easier to dismiss and even disdain by the larger society.

 

I wasn't really trying to make a point, well I was, but I was earnestly asking if anyone knew the answer to my question because I just don't know. I've been largely disconnected from the LGBTQ+ community, sequestered in my little corner of the world in a very accepting environment, not really concerned with the many politically charged topics I see here in the USA and other places, so the reality of seeing so much division within the community, as witnessed on this forum on many topics, is sort of eye opening to me. It made me wonder at how this shit all happens in the first place. I thought maybe there is some queer panel of judges or secret society I should appeal to or apply with.

 

I wouldn't call it division. People can disagree and that's a good thing. And they can still like each other even though they disagree. Actually one off-putting aspect of the "community" (in general, not necessarily here) is its frequent dogmatism and intolerance of opinions that don't conform to the party line. People can share some basic commonalities without having to agree on every single thing. We're meant to be pro-diversity, no?

I think it just comes from social media / activist organisations / academia and percolates down through society, spread by sympathetic media outlets. Although a secret society sounds more fun.

 

Any time that there is politicalization involved there eventually becomes division and polarity and in the U.S. at least there is an over abundance of both. Though I consider myself “gay” not “queer” there is a controlling group within any community that wishes to push an agenda that consolidates either political or financial power or both. They tend to steer away from the community interests to present a block that they control to attract revenue. You can do just that by fracturing a community into enough pieces that can be manipulated into compliance by the fear of non-inclusiveness. Look at how the LGBQ community has become corporatized in government and big business. I don’t know who the individuals are that define us and think that they can shape how we think, spend, vote, etc but we have been influenced to march in lock step for the sake of being included in the alphabet soup.

 

Independent free thinking as always been the pillar of Western Democracies and should not be less in our community. Frequently we have been less accepting and tolerant of those outside the orthodox group think than those we criticize outside of us in society at large. The value of self-reflection and critical analysis in our community is vastly under appreciated.

 

I don't generally use the Q or the + and I've never encountered any kind of guff for it. Obviously, I don't really know what people think but I've never had it seem like it was a problem. It also doesn't bother me when people use them. The only particular locution surrounding the whole community name thing that really does stand out to me is when people consciously omit the T. This does, at least to me, seem to indicate a very particular stance and it's not one that I agree with, and I find I don't share much of a sense of community with people who do.

 

I agree, trans, queer and drag queens were at Stonewall and part of the fight for equality all along so I stand with them.

 

To me, queer is from the 50s or 60s—just outdated.

 

It's a term I'm not comfortable using because growing up, my family - notably my father and his disgusting half brother - used it as a slur. And before I started coming out to a few select people outside of our oasis here, I was told only people in the community were allowed to use it. So I don't use it.

That's me though. If you're comfy using it, use it. We're all different.