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Married guy committed to staying with wife

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by callahac, Jan 9, 2012.

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  1. Christiaan

    Christiaan Guest

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    If I were to go into medical advice, particularly in regard to mental health, I would suggest routine exercise, regular sleep hours, a balanced diet, and possibly a daily fish oil (Omega-3s have a strange way of acting as a neurotransmitter in the brain. Interesting stuff). I was using "cognitive dissonance" in a very colloquial and informal sense that doesn't really resemble the sense in which the term is used in modern scientific journals. I have a great deal of respect for your field, and I would not purposely make pretensions of such certification. I apologize if I came across as such, and I ask my opinions on this matter to be treated in the informal manner in which I intended them.
     
    #81 Christiaan, Feb 23, 2012
    Last edited: Feb 23, 2012
  2. Chip

    Chip
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    First, hypnotherapy, done by a properly trained professional is neither bullcrap nor useless. Milton Erickson, M.D., the father of modern clinical hypnotherapy developed many of the current tenets of brief therapy, and many cognitive-behavioral methods draw in part from Erickson's work. He is highly respected by virtually everyone in the field of psychology. Additionally, again, in the hands of a skilled and properly trained therapist, hypnosis can be extremely effective in dealing with a number of mental issues such as anxiety, compulsive behaviors, addictive behaviors, phobias, and many other things.

    While it is true that there are many inadequately trained people calling themselves hypnotherapists, and an abundance of junk programs and credential mills that graduate people with inadequate training, please be cautious about making sweeping statements about methodologies and practitioners that may not be true.

    Additionally, please don't give advice here that is couched as medical advice, even if it's in the realm of common-sense stuff like adequate sleep and exercise. With the exception of KB, who does not give medical advice at EC, no one here has medical credentials, and we have to be extremely cautious about characterizing it as such, lest we run afoul of laws and regulations prohibiting such behavior.
     
    #82 Chip, Feb 26, 2012
  3. callahac

    callahac
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    My wife and I watched the first episode of Downton Abbey last nght. There was a scene where two guys start making out. I asked her this morning that I was shocked she did not give me a crotch test (I was hard as a rock). She said she wanted to, but said she was over it, and besides she found it kinda hot. Boy oh boy talk about mixed messages I get sometimes.
     
    #83 callahac, Feb 27, 2012
  4. zzzero

    zzzero
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    "a crotch test"? I hope that isn't something your wife does regularly. That seems so wrong.
     
    #84 zzzero, Feb 27, 2012
  5. callahac

    callahac
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    No she doesn't but sometimes if we are watching tv or a movie and there is a gay scene she would touch my crotch to check if I was aroused. Normally during those types of scenes I try to think of baseball or something as I know it is usually going to happen, and don't feel like dealing with the drama.
     
    #85 callahac, Feb 27, 2012
  6. Lewnatic

    Lewnatic
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    I've read through this whole topic and I am honestly astounded how people get themselves into these positions... Was it because you wanted kids or to be seen as "normal"? No offence but...your life is an utter mess.
     
    #86 Lewnatic, Feb 27, 2012
  7. callahac

    callahac
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    No it wasn't any of that, it's more like life just happens, and if we knew then what we know now, different choices would have been made. I know my life is a mess and that is why I am on here- to hel find direction.
     
    #87 callahac, Feb 27, 2012
  8. Lewnatic

    Lewnatic
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    Well I hope you can sort yourself out, because surely you must know this current set-up cannot last forever. Yes, you've been together for years and years and have children together, but everything is based on a lie. You and your wife are lying to yourselves, you both know you're lying to yourselves but you're doing...nothing. Why is staying in this marriage so important to both of you? You two poor souls sound miserable and it won't take long before this entire situation explodes.
    Others may offer different direction, but the direction I give to you is get out before this gets any worse.
     
    #88 Lewnatic, Feb 27, 2012
  9. mike1962

    mike1962
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    Hey, I'm in the same situation as you but haven't told my wife yet. It's funny but I think nothing of me having sex with another guy but when I think of her with another man I get jealous! Crazy I know, perhaps that will change the mire I think about it. I'm hoping for an open marriage until my kids leave (7 years). Only one way to find out and that's talk it thru, in counseling. Change is the most difficult and scary thing isn't it?
     
    #89 mike1962, Nov 16, 2012
  10. mike1962

    mike1962
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    Hey, I'm in a similar situation to you! On the verge of coming out to my wife and wondering what the outcome will be. I'd like to stay in the marriage at least until the kids have left (7 years) but wonder if that is possible..... I have met a great guy and want to have sex with him. Just not sure how she will react.. I want the best for her too tho the thought of her with another guy is so weird right now! The ideal would be that we have a totally open marriage but I think that may be asking too much. We will see I guess!
     
    #90 mike1962, Nov 17, 2012
  11. Rosina

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    Locking this thread as it's a little old.

    As a rule of thumb, if a thread has slipped off the first few pages of the Support and Advice forum its in, it's best to leave it as chances are the issue has been resolved.

    If members have similar experiences, or can relate to other member, we encourage them to make a new thread should they wish to receive advice on the situation, or to chat with the member in question that they can relate to, on that member's profile wall.
     
    #91 Rosina, Nov 17, 2012
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