Entering an LGBT space for the first time... and freaking out

Yeah, that's my main hangup. In a way, I prefer being a "theoretical" member of a GLBT community that's out there, waiting for me with open arms. And I know for a fact that my straight friends believe that's what I'm doing all the time when I'm not hanging out with them.

In practice, however, I tend to not put that theory to the test, as chickening out of meeting other GLBT people (and the chance, however small, at being scorned or rejected) is all too easy.

 

Yes! I had the illusion that there would be a community out there that's like the "Cheers" TV show. That's not realistic, although I have connected with people a few times. It took effort.

 

Well went to the LGBT dinner last night. Not many people went. It was a really nice busy place. It was a pub, restaurant and small hotel all rolled into one. Hoping more people go next month. It will be in another location. I'm male but I really got on with a married lesbian who has encouraged me to join another group. It's being held in a church hall, for LGBT prople, don't have to be a church goer and it's a bring and share evening meal. At this point I feel I must go just to mix with LGBT community. Even though I had no expectations I feel fed up today.
Rade

 

Hello, Don’t feel fed up, Be proud that you got out there and each time will be easier and easier. I think that the other people might not be ready to go out and mingle and possiably may feel fed up to. So, if everyone feels the same then nobody might go. I think each step you take is a learning experience. Don’t give up, You’ll meet someone.

 

Yeah and it might happen when I give up!! Looking. The meet up group has over 80 people on it LGBT....
I feel lonely at the moment, it's not even a physical thing just hugs, kisses and cuddles would be nice . I'm sure there is plenty of us in the same boat...
Once my kids go to bed tonight gonna have a few drinks, going running tomorrow which empowers me, so should be in a better place tomorrow. Thank you for your reply . This forum is amazing....

 

I agree it’s amazing! Good luck and don’t be so hard on yourself!

 

Thank you....just had to make a start. This lady knows a fare few lesbian and gay men. I'm trying to be positive. I know about her friends as we are now on Facebook. I'm thinking getting out there is good for me to network with LGBT community, I just need some LGBT friends and eventually find a partner.

 

This forum has also been excellent and it's empowering me to go above my comfort zone. Everyone has been kind and it's been nice to give others advice....

 

This is so weird to me too. I really do think that it is due to lack of exposure though. Because seeing two men kiss is a non issue for me. I've seen plenty of movies and stuff where that happens and it's just like any other kiss. Same with sex or anything else. Same with women. I have been exposed to it and it's a non issue. I think these people need to see this MORE not less. So they will realize it's not weird.

 

I agree, I also feel that we as humans are programed from the very beginning to see anything out of the “norm” as weird and not to accept it. I can only hope as time goes on people can watch it and accept it and have it not be weird for them, I would love in a world where all sexual orientations are freely accepted.

 

Yes, that's it! We're not alone! It's OK to be freaked out in an LGBT space, to be totally in love with someone of any gender, it's OK to be in a long-term hetero marriage and yearn to make gay love, it's all OK and there are lots and lots of other people who are dealing with the same things. Thank you for being here and posting some of the things lots of us are feeling

 

Thank you all for your presence and kind words. It is so nice to be able to find common ground and experiences. Straight people, even when they're tolerant or supportive don't quite understand such struggles, since they don't have to deal with many of them.

 

I lived a straight life for 20 years and it's really weird now like I'm starting again. Straight people have been supportive etc. But I know some of them are afraid. For example if I post something on my facebook about LGBT hardly anyone will comment. If I post pics of my kids everyone comments....Why can't they just all embrace who I am.....

 

@Rade , it's disappointing that people in general aren't more supportive, but I kind of understand. If someone is totally into something that I'm not into, it's hard to know what to say. On top of that, there's this big charge on anything dealing with sexuality, so people don't touch it. Best we can do is to be as authentic as we can and let all the Straights see there's nothing to fear.

Hugs-
=Sevn

 

@Sevn, thank you....
This forum has really saved me this month. It's been great to receive advice and to guide others. Were all on a journey which is very challenging but hopefully it's worth it. Eventually I hope I meet a nice guy and even get married, and if people don't like it tough . If it weren't for my kids I would leave the UK and go and live in the Mediterran where I feel at home. One day hopefully....X
Rade

 

It could work for some but not all. I've known some people in large cities and who have been exposed to a lot of gay and lesbian people and who still have problems with same sex attraction and people acting on it. They haven't changed. I've also seen a few people who have had this mindset then have children of their own who are gay or lesbian. I don't know how they handled it because I lost touch with them. I wouldn't want to have these people who I grew up alongside to be my parents. I've heard their comments about this topic over the years.

 

Agree with you. I’m going through that right now.

 

I agree, it's good to know that other people experienced such anxiety even people who are much more comfortable being gay.