does anyone identify as an afab transwoman?

I'm with Lazuri... OP, you do not by any means match the definition of a trans woman. I'm also trying to keep an open mind, but my only result is actually feeling rather offended and slightly invalidated. Not in any "that's my label!" way in particular, just that that's a term that's there for people like me, who was assigned male at birth, has a male body, suffers from dysphoria to some degree, and identifies as female. You're simply nowhere to be found in that term, OP.

 

This thread is so confusing.

What is the difference between identifying as cisgender female and transgender female?

 

I don't think gengen is coming back, maybe locking the thread is not the worst idea after all.

Even if someone is trolling or being a snowflake though, I still feel that reacting with loving kindness is the best policy. I am not saying it is always possible. I can't always do it. But I have found if someone is "protesting too much" and is getting no opposition to validate their tone, the worst that happens is they get bored or embarrassed and leave.

And the best, is they work through confusing and difficult issues, stop being victims, and start being survivors. Some times all they need is a little room and support.

I truly wish you nothing but the best gengen.

 

I am almost certain that OP is a troll. She can't not be. No-one in their right mind would fit her description of herself, then waltz onto an LGBT board and make a thread like this.

 

This was a fascinating read. gengen, if you're reading this, I'm sorry the judgemental people drove you away. Your condition is valid, and you didn't deserve to be interrogated like that.

 

You deserve as much support as anyone, Gengen. As AtheistWorld said, your condition is valid. I genuinely wish you the best of luck and happiness in life. I hope you can manage to find and surround yourself with people who will support you and love you for who you are.

I say the same to others who can relate to Gengen and Glitterpup. I wish you the best of luck as well in expressing yourself and being who you are.

(&&&)

 

Obviously you know yourself better than anyone else, but.... This is just....

Trans isn't a gender. It's a relationship between your actual gender and the gender that is assigned to you at birth. Trans women have the same gender as cis women. Full stop. Period. What makes them trans is that they weren't assigned female at birth.

So you're female. And you were assigned female at birth. Your gender and your assigned gender are the same. I'm just not getting how "transitioning" from your assigned gender of female to...also your assigned gender of female is supposed to work. You're a female to female trans woman?

If you did somehow go from, let's call it "assigned cis-female" to trans you'd still not have any transition in your actual gender because again cisgender and transgender women are the same gender.

I think we need new terms for this. Assigned cis trans-trans? Retroactively (somehow?? Time machine?) AMAB trans woman? CFTTF?

 

Exactly. You can't just take an already existing term and apply it to something new.

That's as if I suddenly developed a mutation that turned me purple and saying "hey guys, I'm black.

 

^^

 

Words: They mean stuff.

 

I can understand the need for a term people like OP can initially use in order to express their feelings, especially since they want to be/feel they are what they consider or can only put as Transgender. However I can agree that coming up with a more universally accepted term for this would likely be a very good idea and in better interest of all parties; with a new term would potentially create less room for inadvertently offending people, and more room for eliciting understanding and acceptance.

 

Hit the nail on the head.

 

oYeah, the idea with a new term is good. Because

1) I don't think OP or anyone with the same thing (assuming this isn't an entirely unique case) will gain acceptance from the trans community, so it's better to have a term on its own in that case
2) I think you said you wanted to have bottom surgery and that you're taking hormones, OP? So that's like... You WANT to feel the pain of women who are in the wrong bodies, because that would make you feel more trans? So you would be FtMtF, then? Well, the medical resources of your country and any country are there to help those who suffer from gender dysphoria to alleviate their pain and help them. I think using that money for this, when it's going to most likely make you feel WORSE, is a waste of resources, that should be going to someone who really needs it.

 

I like where we're going with this I think the only real problem is, we don't really know what the OP was describing exactly; she never really made that clear in her posts, at least as far as what I can tell.

I think in general though, a label should describe some sort of reality. If gengen really just wanted the trans label, she would have a lot less sympathy from me. She mentioned having dysphoria; I guess I kind of assumed she meant the same thing I experienced, but what I experienced went far beyond words.

So I mean, I think, if anyone like the OP ever comes to us for help again, I definitely agree with everyone that getting past the trans label to what the label actually means, just getting the truth out there where we can do something with it, is really the best possible thing we can do.

Also I think there are a lot of people I had a chance to talk to way way back when I was advising here, where it's like, once they have a label, and a little social acceptance... like that's it. It's like, no attempt to actually do anything about your problems. I mean I won't share any individual stories, but generally people perpetually asking me if it's okay if they like people of the same sex, or if I think they're trans, or if they're really cis and straight etc... I guess, it's hard to put what I'm trying to say into words, but I really got the feeling some of these are the sort of people that would join AA and keep drinking, you know? I don't see them transitioning, I don't see them coming out about their boyfriends or girlfriends to their families and living their lives without fear, I just see them coming back here, forever, and I always felt bad about continuing conversations with folk like that, like I was doing the opposite of helping.

So I really, really got that vibe with the OP.

And that's why I think, you know I'm not sure even picking another word is even the best way. I mean that is our word, and there is absolutely a very real pain with it, and it does suck so much ass when people take what little social acceptance we have, I mean I've complained about that kind of thing before, it's something queer folk have been putting up with forever and ever. So I mean, using a different word, it at least solves a problem.

But I really think, if we could just get past words entirely, if we could get at what the OP means by AFAB trans woman, to her personally, I really feel like we could have done more good, like she could have taken a good hard look at her and her life and decide how she wants to live it. I don't think she was going to get to that point as long as people accepting her as an AFAB trans woman was taken care of. I guess I disagreed with a lot of you as to the best way to do that. I thought, okay, she just wants a little social acceptance, that doesn't affect me at all, sure. It's hers. IDK maybe that was a good way, maybe it wasn't.

 

She left :/