does anyone identify as an afab transwoman?

I'm sorry but this is really making my blood boil.

 

I really wish I could understand this but I don't so far

 

I haven't read all of the responses, but by the looks of it, I'll be the first to say it's probably best if this thread is locked.

 

So all of this is because the OP is afab and wants certain physical traits?? I just can't.

 

No, its because we are asking questions so that we might understand where she is coming from. At least that is what it is for me, can't speak for others.

 

I was referring to the OPs original post.

 

Again, I feel lost and not sure if I'm not reading any of this correctly. But how exactly does someone who is assigned female at birth transition to female if that's already their situation from the jump?

 

I'm quite lost right now.

I did know a person once who identified as a trans man who now identifies as a nonbinary woman and had a brief stint of identifying as an afab trans woman between those times. But at least in that scenario she'd previously considered herself male? I mean, I still found that moderately baffling, but...at least I could grasp the situation more clearly than in this case.

As Daydreamer1 says, I'm a little lost as to how one transitions from being afab female to...also female, except trans.

 

Everyone, look, I get it. A spade's a spade. I'll put it in words and be blunt about it. The OP is basically saying "trans women aren't real women". She's a "real woman", and wants to be something other than what she already is. And that's what pisses you off right?

I know these labels are powerful. I get it. I know what it used to feel like, before I took care of my hormones and a lot of my dysphoria with it, whenever I would be called a man. It stung just as much as any other reminder of my gender. I still remember very sharply what that's like.

But it's just words. It doesn't affect you or your reality.

I mean let's take a step back. Let's look at another thread. This one :

http://emptyclosets.com/forum/gender-identity-expression/191323-afab-transgirl.html

You will find in that thread - and correct me if I'm wrong - post after post after post, with nothing but love and support for people like the OP, and then this from the OP :

Do you see how incredibly defensive that is? Right of the bat. "This is a legitimate identity" in a thread where no one came close to suggesting otherwise. Where is that coming from?

It's coming from GenGen expecting a certain kind of reply from people.

And let's be honest. We've been giving her that kind of reply here, in this thread, a lot. Haven't we?

Let's change that. I'd like to vote to keep this thread open. I'd like to be the exception to what is obviously a rule. GenGen is expecting a whole bunch of people challenging her identity? Not going to happen any more. Nothing but love and helping her explore exactly where her problems are and making her feel like it's okay to be her. Let's break the pattern she so obviously expects.

Let's just treat her like we treat anyone else that comes here, okay? She wants to be family. She can be family.

GenGen, we are all curious about you. Anything you want to share, please feel comfortable sharing. Even if it's nothing. If you'll look at that other thread you posted in, that is typical of empty closets. Not this thread. Please look around the boards, please make as many friends as you can here. This is an awesome place that has done me and countless people like me no end of good. And I know there's plenty of room for you here (*hug*)

 

I aggre with the woman above me, stay in out community, I mean Who are we to judge when we dont want to be judged for our identities in the first place. Gengen, if you need any support, feel free to stay here

 

what.

---------- Post added 9th Dec 2015 at 04:39 PM ----------

i'm trans, but also confused by this. i'm genuinely interested in discussion. do you mind me asking how you came to understand your gender being a transwoman even though you are afab?

 

Yes, I agree. (*hug*)

 

I'm just in shock that someone has had such awful luck with her family. Having multiple siblings that are trans is so unbelievably rare and her wife is also a trans woman who has just started to transition. I know the toll that coming out to my family has had on them. I can't imagine how hard it is for someone to cope with multiple siblings that are trans and dealing with the hardship of dealing with a partner who is transitioning. Not to mention, trying to cope with all this when you are yourself on T and going through your own process of transitioning. Such bravery and elation of spirit! I'm so glad that a doctor was willing to prescribe HRT for a trans woman afab, it shows how open minded and accomodating the medical establishment is!

Gengen, I hope you find a way to cope with the truly unbelievably horrible circumstances which you are coping with and that you become the person you feel that you are deep inside. A true trans woman like your siblings and wife and not the fake trans woman that you seem to see yourself as at the moment! I can just imagine how hard it has been to accept who you truly are, deep inside. You should be proud of yourself! ride:

Edit: I called you a trans woman and not just a woman out of respect for your feelings because you ealier wrote that you are a trans woman transitioning towards becoming a trans woman so I assume that you are and have always been a trans woman just need to transition to not feel fake. I hope that saying so isn't offensive to you. It can be a bit confusing. (*hug*)

 

I accept her identity, I just wish to understand it better is all.

 

I agree I want to understand it more!

 

Okay, I'm just going to try and ask bluntly here. What are you doing, socially or physically, to "transition" to a transwoman. You said you have dysphoria; is there anything you are doing or planning on doing about this? People keep asking "Are you doing this?" And you're being like "No! That's not what it is about."

So, just bluntly, what, if anything, is it about; what are you doing? Are you just saying "I'm a transwoman" and that's it? Are you not even doing that? Are you doing more. I really am trying to understand what you are trying to get across.

Also, no one is "mansplaining" you. Some people are taking a more offensive, upset, or aggressive tone with you, but it's not because they are men and you're a woman. The reason people are getting upset with you is because they don't understand, and you're attempts to explain yourself have been marginally successful at best. Also, while I don't approve of their tone as it is not condusive to good discussion, I can see why people get upset with you, because every transwoman I've ever met, including myself, would give just about anything to have been born in the right body. So hearing a woman born female, but identifying as a transwoman, especially without adequate explanation, to us can feel rather offensive, like you want to be trans but aren't actually going through any of it because you were born with the gender you identify as. I

Im sorry if people here are offending you, but your position seems a little insensitive, superficial, and frankly stupid. I feel like we could all just calm down if you would just explain, quite explicitly,
A) What you mean when you say you identify as a transwoman.
B) What it means to be a transwoman to you.
and C) What exactly this "transition" is for you.

---------- Post added 9th Dec 2015 at 10:13 PM ----------

I just realized that, somewhat hypocritically, my post came off as exactly the aggressive language I wanted to avoid. I apologize for that, and if you could actually hear my vocal inflections it would be clear that wasn't my intent, but yeah, like everyone else Im just trying to understand.

 

The last couple of sentences of the large paragraph summarized how I feel.

 

Hey,
so, I don't want to compare my experience to the OP's at all. But as a nonbinary person with a lot of weird and contradictory feelings towards sex and gender, I've experienced people seeing me either as not really trans or "not having realized i'm really a trans man" and all that. nb identities have only become more commonly known in the last few years, and there's still not a lot of "evidence" of them, in form of research, culture etc. So I can relate to that bit of it.

When somebody say's they're this or that gender ... isn't it weird coming from trans folks that that they can't be because you're assigned this or that at birth? But I'm also really unsure of this. :icon_redf:

 

Interesting. Just to be clear here, you weren't born with any sort of intersex condition, were you? You say you want the anatomy of an un-altered trans woman. Could you explain how you would go about doing that?

Not skeptical, just curious, since this is one of those situations that's so rare, it might as well be one of a kind.

 

I'm sorry, but you reek of special snowflake syndrome to such a degree that I can not even begin to explain.

It's quite possible that you're feeling what you're explaining, but saying you want the body of basically a woman trapped in a man's body because you identify as a trans woman as though that was something different than a woman is just wrong and you incessantly insisting that it is the case is actually starting to piss me off.

I'm trying to wrap my head around this and keep an open mind, but the only thing I can think is "this is what afro-americans must feel when they encounter somebody wearing blackface."