Corrupt A Wish

Granted but they are the arms of a octopus

I wish for a sandwich that has nothing at all strange about it

 

Granted, but your taste buds no longer like sandwiches.

I wish I had cat that was perfect in every way possible.

 

Granted but you are allergic to cats

I wish I could fly

 

Granted, but you flew too close to the sun and was burnt to a crisp.

I wish I had completely normal, non-octupus, human arms that are just the right length and width.

 

Granted but you have no legs

I wish that none of my wishes could be corrupted and that this wish cannot be unwished

 

Granted! Instead, the wishes merely remain as just that...wishes.

I wish all of the land mass of the earth's surface, and all floors in all buildings were like one, giant trampoline.

 

Granted, but the trampoline bounce you into space.

I wish I had a completely normal, yummy burrito that I eat normally and not have to worry about any side effects, such as passing gas due to the beans, ect.

 

Ah ah ahh but you didn't do that right you corrupted a wish where I wished that wishes cannot be orrupted

 

Granted but you have no mouth

I wish that the world would explode

 

Granted the world explodes. However, another plant has been found identical to this one and everyone and everything from this planet has been transported to the new Earth without incident. No harm, no foul.

I wish I had a dozen Cape Breton oysters completely pure and uncontaminated and a very dry Hendrick's martini.

 

Granted but your allergic to seafood and that martini has cyanide in it

 

Sadly, there is no wish to corrupt!

I wish I was a poor, inner-city child with no prospects for the future, poor health, and and a short life expectancy.

 

Wish (strangely, i don't know why ypu'd ever wish for that...) granted, but someone will join a gang, go to jail after they betray you, and then meet a priest in jail who helps you realize that there's more to life. So you get your act together, and go to college and get a degree and become the CEO of.... MacDonalds.... In Burkina Faso....

That's basically the plot of every hood movie....

Anyways,

I wish that every time someone made me angey they would immeasuately get punished by their sourroundings (ie; trip over chair, fall of couch, buck their foot, etc; )

 

Granted, but every time you get upset with yourself, you step on a lego piece barefoot.

I wish I had an endless bag of Doritos.

 

Granted, but when you open it Doritos continuously fly out of the bag and covers the world.
I wish for a wish.

 

Wish granted, but i would have to corrupt it in some way, shape, or form.

I wish that the guy i like was gay, and asked me out!

 

Granted. He asks you out, but unfortunately has this bizarre fascination with touring sewage treatment plants and garbage dumps, where he insists he takes you on every date.

I wish I was on vacation in the wilderness of Madagascar, seeing fossas and lemurs.

 

Granted, but a fossa eated you.

I wish for a banana.

 

Granted, but your bed is a plank of wood.

I wish I could find that banana.