I Think I'm Dating a Jewish Pedophile with a Nazi fetish

Erm, I've been directly flat-out told to just go hide under a blankie in bed.

Rather than been offered constructive advice, I've been just told what to do, most of the posts just say "run" with no further commentary nor any acknowledgement of any counterarguments I present.

I mentioned that this guy says I look like I'm in middle school, and it seems like that triggered people on EC to treat me like I actually am a middle schooler, like parents giving orders to a child, scolding me like a naughty schoolboy. My responses are dismissed as if I'm just a bratty child "talking back" to my parents.

I am being told I am being "groomed", like a pedophile "grooms" a child, yet I am an adult.

He can shower me with nice things in the hopes of getting sex...and that's pretty much how a lot of straight relationships work, guys wine and dine girls in the hopes of getting them into bed with them.

I'm in so much debt, I welcome a guy who will buy me dinner. I would have given him the blowjob anyway, having him take me out to dinner is an added perk. If anything I feel like I'm exploiting my own sex appeal to wield power over him. He can't "groom" me like a child because I have an adult brain that is well-aware of his modus operandi.

This thread feels like the way my brain usually functions, voices of anxiety versus voices of reason. Only this time the voices of anxiety are coming from my computer screen, filling my head with insane fears even my imagination wouldn't have come up with. (Like someone here saying that this guy must have some fantasy about "Nazi" me "gassing" him as a Jew or him "gassing" me as a Jewish revenge against Nazis. WTF?). Also bringing up the case of a psychopathic cannibal porn actor, now I have to fear going on a date because my date might eat me? Putting unreasonable fantastical fears and anxieties into my head is not good for my fragile mental health.

And I managed just fine, those fears and anxieties were irrational and unwarranted, as my fears and anxieties usually are.

Most of my "Support and Advice" threads tend to be stream-of-consciousness rants stemming from panic.

It was an enjoyable vacation from my parents. The freedom flew by so quickly.

And my fears weren't about being away from my parents, I spent four years away from my parents at college in Massachusetts and studied in Europe twice, where I was surrounded by students and had things to do, my fears were about being alone, alone in my boring house and boring hometown where I have nothing to do and don't even know anyone. A fear which I am trying to rectify by meeting new people so that I am not just around my parents, who are in fact negative influences on my life, not positive forces.

I have problems with day-to-day issues, but this sure as hell is not a day-to-day issue. I'm much better at dealing with complicated weird crazy issues than at playing the ordinary game of life.

I'm not saying I'm going to pursue a relationship with this guy, but I would appreciate it greatly if people would respect and understand if I make my own decision about him based on my own judgment, rather than deriding me as being basically too stupid to be able to make the right decision by myself.

And it is a difficult decision for me. It's easy for people here to just say run away and find a better guy, but for me it is tough because I actually like this guy, and he really likes me. I started this thread for advice, I was hoping for a more balanced response, instead I've gotten the message loudly and clearly that EC members say to just run.

But just because I look like I'm a middle schooler doesn't mean I have a middle school brain.

I am very perceptive when it comes to human beings, their thought processes, their motives behind their actions, their character. I am quite capable of getting a good 'read' of a guy.

I am able to pick up subtle hints and cues that inform my judgment of an individual- I mean, if I were as dumb as the EC community seems to think I am, I probably wouldn't have even thought twice about the sort of compliments this guy was giving me, I would think he's just being so nice by telling me I'm as cute as a middle schooler.

But I also suffer from anxiety disorders, so I often pick up warning signals on my radar that are false readings. I tend to find reasons to fear and panic that are imaginary. My mind always assumes the worst.

For example, I initially interpreted him as being disappointed when I said I really was 23 rather than 17. But all he had actually said, in the midst of questioning me about my real age, was that he would be happy if I actually was 17. When he finally seemed to accept that I was in fact 23, he did not react negatively or suddenly lose interest in me. Me being 23 rather than 17 was not a deal-breaker for him.

As I've said, I have also studied game theory, and I try to apply it to my own daily decision-making processes. I am weighing the potential risks and rewards of going out with this guy again, or giving up on him and remaining alone. There are potential negatives to going out with him again. But there are also negatives to not going out with him, whereas there are potential positives to going out with him again.

My read on him is that his attraction patterns lean toward ephebophilia, and he likes young-looking guys- but so does a pretty a large percentage of the gay community- and the straight community for that matter. Humans are supposed to be at their most attractive in youth. At the present time, I don't think he is actually a pedophile who would force himself upon an underaged boy. I really don't think he is "grooming" me the way a pedophile "grooms" a naïve unsuspecting child. He knows I am an adult, and I have signaled to him that I am fine with being his submissive "little twink boy". It's a role I've agreed to play as a consenting adult.

And all guys have their 'types', his 'type' happens to coincide with Hitler Youth propaganda- as a sidenote the "Hitler Youth" is actually a popular hairstyle among hipsters in New York these days. Perhaps it is ironic since he is Jewish, he himself has a 'typical' Jewish look of dark hair, eyes, features, hairiness....but it's a 'type' nonetheless. I am no pure Aryan specimen myself any way, I have fair skin and blond hair, but brown eyes. Being brown-eyed was not a deal-breaker for him either. He said he hadn't even noticed my eye color until I pointed it out to him.

Anyway, I went through a weeklong self-imposed moratorium on texting to think things through.

The Hispanic guy texts me several times a day still and I don't know how to make it stop. We literally just met, he starts off by inviting me to his place the next day to watch Disney movies and play Pokemon, then suddenly in the middle of the convo he tells me he's "rock hard" thinking about my "cute little butt". I told him maybe later in the week, and I was going to later suggest maybe meeting for coffee instead, since I prefer to meet in a public place. But then the next day suddenly he's inviting me to have a threesome with him and his friend the very next morning. Um ya thanks, but no thanks. I stopped responding to him after that, but he keeps texting me. We don't even know each other, yet he keeps saying he doesn't want to "lose" me, even though he never had me. In his last comment to me, he even misspelled my name (and we've communicated only via text). I really just don't know what to say, I'm just not interested. How do I get him to stop? :bang:


But whatever, with this Jewish guy I wasn't sure whether to wish him a happy passover or wait April 20: Easter, 420 weed day, and also Hitler's birthday. :eek: That's how crazy this is lol, I really must be sick in the head, because I love crazy.

So I wished him a happy easter/passover/420 day/Hitler's birthday.

He's been very busy working on a poetry manuscript to submit. (He's a very creative artsy type, as I've mentioned). He says I will be his Muse to inspire his creative passion. Tomorrow he's going to see a show that his dad's friend is putting on, and he's going to see about getting me an extra ticket. Theatre is always fun. He's in with the whole artsy Jewish creative scene in NYC, so much more exciting than the bores I usually date. I want to date a creative person, not some boring lawyer or engineer. He's going to get back to me tomorrow to see if he can get a ticket, otherwise he wants to get together this weekend.

And again, the topics of Nazis and priests did not come up once in our conversation. I'm hoping that's all behind us now.

So this guy did say some weird things and exhibit some weird traits that freaked me out, and still have me weary and cautious...however I don't see how going out with him one more time can hurt. At least he's....interesting. There is excitement in not knowing quite what to expect. Or maybe the psych meds have just messed up my brain completely, but I really don't feel like he is a dangerous, nefarious character.


But I don't know, lately all the guys I've been dating have been like 25 or 26. The Jewish guy is 21. I don't like dating someone younger than myself, because it makes me feel old and insecure in my own age. So ironically I may end up dumping the 21-year-old Jewish ephebophile with a Nazi fetish who's attracted to me because he thinks I look like a young boy...because he's too young for me. What a fucked-up bizarro world I live in. :goodevil:

 

Well I was drunk and incapacitated, so he had to clean his whole room, strip his whole bed down to the mattress level.

At like 5 am, he woke me up and was like "you have to leave", but I didn't leave, later he apologized, saying he had been "freaking out" and was just being a Jewish neurotic. I didn't leave until like noon the next day, after sitting with him and his friend in the kitchen, and he gave me some bread and butter and made me coffee.

The next morning I think he acknowledged that he was at least partially to blame for me throwing up, not just for giving me more vodka, but also by triggering my gag reflex with the deep throat blowjob.

 

Well got off the Z train, and waiting outside the theatre on the lower east side where we are going to see a punk theatre show his friend is putting on. I'll probably spend the night at his place. If you never hear from me again, give yourselves pats on the back at being proven right! But I hope you are wrong! I wish some of you could be supportive of my decision instead of bashing me.:icon_sad:

 

Ya I'm introduced to all his Jewish friends, it's exciting.

 

Well they weren't all Jewish, but they were all artsy creative types. Artists, actors, poets, filmmakers. One girl, an actress, said he was her Jew agent. An exciting crowd.

Anyway, I had one drink at the punk theatre show, was a little tipsy so we went and I got a Cubano sandwich on multigrain bread at a store on the lower east side, they had all kinds of organic and vegan stuff, yogurt smoothies and the like. (All the Chinatown restaurants were closed at that hour).

We went back to his apartment in Brooklyn where we had both oral and anal sex. It was safe sex and we both did things that the other wanted. It was great.

There weren't any real creepy moments this time, except maybe the time he said he wanted me to keep my outfit with tie and cardigan sweater on while giving him a blowjob because he said I look like a schoolboy. But if that's his fantasy, so be it.

After that I took the F train back to Manhattan, only 2 stops, very convenient, then I walked to Borough Hall and took the 4 train, only 1 stop, even better.

And I am back home safe and sound now, I survived, and had a good time. He wants to have a third date, next time I am not touching a drop of alcohol.

 

Thanks, I thought this forum was Support and Advice, I received "advice" (more like giving me orders like a parent giving orders to a child and then mocking me as a juvenile idiot when I suggested I was going to give this guy another chance), was hoping to receive some support in my decision, whatever decision I made.

After all, as Dame Shirley Bassey would say: This is My Life.

[YOUTUBE]HqxMXlqCFZw[/YOUTUBE]

So I greatly appreciate some actual support and positive advice. (*hug*)

I was planning on the taking the J train, but the Z train made the same stops, I had to walk to Broad St to catch it and then take it 5 stops to Essex St, where the arts centre was located that was playing the punk theatre show. The J/Z train is one of many New York City subway lines. It runs between Broad St in Manhattan and Jamaica, Queens. It's also where Jay Z got his name from, since it was the subway line near his house growing up.