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I Think I'm Dating a Jewish Pedophile with a Nazi fetish

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by Rakkaus, Apr 10, 2014.

  1. AwesomGaytheist

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    This a million times. What he is doing, it doesn't matter how old you are. Manipulation is manipulation. These are the exact same tricks that sexual predators use to groom their victims no matter their age. It doesn't matter how old you are, you have some serious issues that he is exploiting to gain your trust and get into your head. And here is, in your own words, what he is doing:

    He's using the fact that you do have mental issues, and that last sentence shows that you've let down your inhibitions. That alone is scary.

    He's being overly nice to get you hooked and to keep coming back. Buying you dinner and getting you to just go back to his place...that was what Jerry Sandusky did: give the boys football tickets and have a basement full of fun things for young boys to keep them coming back.

    He knows you haven't had much success in dating before, and he knows that all he has to do is say he's interested in you and he's got you because nobody has ever been interested after the first date.


    I know you don't want to hear this, but you're being exploited. I had a class where we watched this movie about the signs of exploitation from the UK Government's equivalent of a computer crimes against children task force, but I see a lot of the same tactics being used here. Whether you take my advice or not is up to you, but I and everyone else in this thread are pleading with you to do yourself a favor and get out of there. It's not worth it.

    [YOUTUBE]qORv-TgI4JI[/YOUTUBE]

    [YOUTUBE]k14eDgD597o[/YOUTUBE]
     
  2. Robert

    Robert Guest

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    You just told us that he's not a good match for you and that he freaks you out. What are you doing?
    There are plenty of other people out there who would enter relationships with you and you're settling for someone who you dont get on with at all. This relationship cant last. Dont do it.
     
  3. resu

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    When you see this guy, do you feel a tinge of fear or apprehension, not knowing what he might do or say? If so, that may be a sign from your subconscious that you really aren't comfortable with him.

    Don't settle and count yourself lucky for getting a second date. You should never feel grateful for someone doing what is considered polite and decent; that is the lowest bar, not the highest. Why did you make this thread if you didn't have at least some misgivings?
     
  4. Rakkaus

    Rakkaus Guest

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    Oh gosh this thread has not been helpful to my anxiety, what if I have HIV now from oral sex, what if he really is a pedophile creep, my old high school and church were right around the corner from where we met in Chelsea, and we walked by them, what if he stalks kids at my high school now, I'm a horrible person, and all the while I'm trying (and probably going to fail) to stick to a schedule of tapering down my Klonopin dosage, the rebound anxiety is killing me. I haven't talked to, texted, or responded to anyone today. I feel like I'm going to have a meltdown. Ugh. :bang:
     
  5. Rakkaus

    Rakkaus Guest

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    Ugh, and I wonder if he really does have nefarious plans for me, he has been so sweet, though, I still don't think he has any intention of harming me, I just don't see a motive, he thinks I am beautiful and has been so kind even after I vomited all over his bed, he had to strip his whole bed and clean up his room of my nasty vomit and I got him in big trouble with his parents.

    He has a lot of issues going on too, as usual with my oh-so-pleasant-and-normal dates, we both discussed our full medication routines (he's on Celexa and Lamictal). Maybe he's just messed up and misunderstood too. I don't think he is the Machiavellian monster some people here are convincing me he is. And I don't think I am the naïve, trusting dunce that some people here seem to be convinced I am, I've studied game theory, I have plenty of fear and suspicion when it comes to calculating potential risk versus potential reward.

    I've had an actual bad experience with a guy who physically and verbally abused me and basically raped me (which I've shared with EC), but this date wasn't like that at all, we went to 3 different places (restaurant, cafe, bar) just to talk a whole lot about all different things before he invited me back to his place and I gave him a consensual blowjob (and then vomited all over his bed). It was safer for me to go back to his place with him than travel all the way home by myself at the late hour.

    I really regret drinking so much, that was by far my biggest mistake, and it's not a mistake I will repeat again. If I hadn't gotten so drunk that night, my thoughts about this guy would probably be much clearer rather than the murky mess they are right now. :confused:

    ---------- Post added 14th Apr 2014 at 07:56 PM ----------

    I don't know if that's really my issue though, just look at how many pictures of myself I've uploaded to EC, if anything I must be the biggest narcissist.
     
    #65 Rakkaus, Apr 14, 2014
    Last edited: Apr 14, 2014
  6. Axxel

    Axxel Guest

    Rakkaus, this isn't advice I give every day. Normally I advocate people facing their problems. However.

    GTFO. Run for it. Go in your room, wrap yourself up in your snuggliest blanket, put some headphones in and drop these guys. Get tested at a medical center if you're concerned. Change your number.

    Right now the possibility of relationships is only aggravating your problems. Ignore the penis and just focus on yourself for now.

    ---------- Post added 14th Apr 2014 at 04:05 PM ----------

    That's not just from this guy, it's from all of them. You're not ready for dating from what you've presented here.

    Also, I once had a completely sober man throw up on me in public. I had to half-carry him home, covered in vomit and listening to him going on about how messed up his life was. When we got in I cleaned him up before myself and spent the whole night fetching things for him and looking after him.

    It's common human decency. Just like offering a guest food is, or giving a date compliments. None of these things are exceptional.
     
  7. AwesomGaytheist

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    You're blaming yourself, and it's not your fault. Just go ghost on him. Block his number, stay away. Just stay away and don't see him, talk to him, call him, write him, email him, think about him ever again. Get tested, and get out of there before things get really bad.
     
  8. Rakkaus

    Rakkaus Guest

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    Alright well you guys are just freaking me out, and I'm officially off my med tapering schedule. And you're telling me I'm not capable of dating at all? Alright, so I guess it's just me and a bottle of pills living a lonely miserable existence until I decide to off myself?

    I need to completely ignore your advice if I want to go on living.

    I don't need a safety blanket, I don't need to stay in my room, close the door, and hide in my bed- or it will become my deathbed. I've been hiding in my room my whole life. I want a life of fun and excitement, friendships and relationships, only that will dig me out of my depression and anxiety so I no longer need to hole myself up in my room and pop pills trying to dull the pain and mask the symptoms of my misery at being so completely alone in the world. :help:

    And human decency is an exceptional trait these days. Especially among horny gay guys. This guy got his blowjob already, I had vomited all over his bed, he could have just kicked me out. Or if he were really a nefarious character, he could have inflicted whatever harm he wanted to while I was at my most vulnerable. I've been on dates where I ended up at a guy's apartment, they got what they wanted and the next morning they just kick me out early in the morning to stumble around a strange neighborhood with a hangover- and I didn't vomit all over these guys' beds. This guy let me stay til noon, introduced me to his friend, gave me breakfast and coffee, printed out instructions home, and texted me to make sure I got home safe. He may say some crazy creepy things, but I don't think he is a bad person at heart. I'm giving him debit where debit is due and credit where credit is due. I'm just trying to decide whether he ends up in the black ink or the red ink.
     
  9. Tyrael

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    Ok so I'm just catching up, slowly but surely, on this thread. If I'm honest from the thread name I thought it was perhaps an amusing book title...

    Anyway I do not think you need to lock yourself away and hide from the world. That being said, this guy really doesn't sound like a good person to keep being around. Sometimes you need to go with your own feelings, you flagged up these possible issues yourself after all, not anyone on EC. I know being alone isn't fun, I'm currently in the same situation with no end in sight I'm afraid. There will always be someone else, always. Don't let yourself slip into despair over this, you seem like a really nice guy and it's honestly not worth it.
     
  10. Caillin

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    We didnt say you should never date most of us said be at least cautious to who you date.Also he does seem like a bad person I mean he basically straight asked if you were molested before by a priest or whatever right? Who in the fuck does that I mean what a sensitive topic and to just ask some one you barely know but oh yes of course someone who asks such a question which can be a totally traumatic experience to someone so easily must be a fucking good person at heart. Oh but yes I do think you should hold out on dating for a bit concerning the things you have said.
     
  11. Zam

    Zam
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    Step 1: RUN
    Step 2:RUN FASTER
     
  12. Rakkaus

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    Well, he is Jewish, and knows nothing about Catholicism except for priests molesting boys. It's amazing just how worlds apart we are living in the same city. He lives in a very Jewish bubble.

    In any event, I'm not texting him any more. If he does text me, depending on what he says I'll either not respond or else try to establish a more assertive position. The last time he texted me, I waited over two hours before responding so I wouldn't seem like I'm desperate over him. If he makes comments about priests again, I'm going to ask him why he keeps bringing that up. I'd need to set certain boundaries up before I even consider seeing him again.
     
    #72 Rakkaus, Apr 14, 2014
    Last edited: Apr 14, 2014
  13. Caillin

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    Ok good im glad you are stating to take more control over with him by making boundaries before deciding to date him. Just think about is this a person I really should be dating instead of finding someone whose a better match for me. I know people can get lonely but you shouldnt settle for someone because of it.Its better to find someone that's a better match and someone you wont regret seeing.
     
  14. Young Blood

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    I would run :/
     
  15. Chip

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    Erik, I think you're going to extremes here. People are telling you not to date someone who appears, by your own description, to be a creep, nazi lover, and pedophile, I suggested that your energy should be focused on your own self-healing first, and you take that to mean that you should never trust anyone and hole up in your room.

    That isn't what anyone said.

    Furthermore, on the one hand, you're getting angry at people and arguing suggesting this is a bad idea and arguing that you're responsible and mature enough to handle this situation, and last week you posted that your parents were going to be out of town for a week and you were freaking out at the idea of being able to manage by yourself for a week.

    You don't get to have it both ways.

    I'm not in any way trying to disrespect you, only to say that you're on the one hand acknowledging that you have real problems dealing with ordinary day-to-day issues and in the next breath, in something as complicated as discerning whether some guy is creepy and shady and scary, you're rejecting everything that everyone is saying and catastrophizing and exaggerating what's being said.

    I think if you could take a deep breath, take a step back, read what's being said objectively, and quit assuming that people are saying that you're incompetent and unable to function... you'd see that people are simply trying to help you learn to make good decisions in these cases, and actively encourage you to take steps to help yourself. I think everyone who's posted in this thread probably wants the same thing for you.

    And as I said before... if you put nearly as much energy into focusing on learning to love and believe in yourself, and improving your own sense of self-worth as you are into arguing why this guy isn't a creep and a terrible choice... you would probably be able to move yourself forward quite a bit. :slight_smile:
     
  16. PatrickUK

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    We can only go on the information you have provided us with, but in almost every case there are loud alarm bells ringing. You titled this thread I think I'm dating a Jewish Pedophile with a Nazi Fetish - don't you imagine that, in itself is a cause for alarm? I do. Pedophiles and Nazi's are not good news, in my very humble opinion.

    Including your own responses there have been 76 postings on this thread (77 with this), which demonstrates to me a good deal of care and concern for you. I know some of the responses have been quite challenging and far from sugar coated, but the genuine concern is there. That's how I see it anyway.

    Of course, it's your right to question what we say, to think we are all wrong and believe we are maligning this guy without justification. It's your life and you are free to make your own choices and decisions, but I have seldom seen a group of very diverse people from all corners come together with a unanimous response.

    I don't know if you see it, or feel it, but we really want the best for you. :slight_smile:
     
  17. LostAndAffraid

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    The two previous posts mirror my sentiments exactly.
     
  18. Axxel

    Axxel Guest

    I wasn't referring to locking yourself away from the world, just escaping these weird sounding men and going trying to define who you are as a person more before you revisit dating. All that happens when two people bring self esteem issues to the relationship is that it becomes a breeding ground for negativity and miscommunication. Also, it's wrong that you seem to think you'll die if you don't have a man. It's perfectly possible to have friends who you don't date. A social life isn't incomplete without a guy hanging off your arm.

    Life isn't over without romantic love. Seriously. :slight_smile: You can find happiness in other things, too, and you should make sure you're ready for a relationship before you enter one. Romantic and sexual relationships should be an addition to a regular life and not the foundation of it. It's important to get to know yourself before trying to love others.

    And just adding to the previous few posts, the reason we're commenting is because we're considering what's best for your well being. If nobody cared then nobody would reply. Some of us are more blunt than others but, hey, everybody shows concern in different ways.
     
    #78 Axxel, Apr 15, 2014
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 15, 2014
  19. Incognito10

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    I think this sounds like the best approach, if you decide to continue contact. Be sure to maintain in control and if he starts to make you uncomfortable, you need to back off. You will learn a lot about this person by observing how he reacts when he might not "get his way." For example, if you set a boundary and he crosses that or demonstrates signs of anger, you might take that as an indication as to his "true colors." When you date someone, it's always best to take things slow, very slow, and observe the true nature.

    I have panic disorder and several anxiety disorders, so I know how they can perpetuate a situation to seem worse than it truly is. Since you describe tapering your meds, just be aware that you could be less equipped to deal with the situation.

    One of the most important and wisest concepts you mention here is that if he makes comments that you do not understand or are uncomfortable with, you will ask what he means or to clarify. That is absolutely a better approach than telling him not to talk about certain topics as that will just lead to avoidance and not allow you to learn and understand his true thoughts.
     
    #79 Incognito10, Apr 15, 2014
    Last edited: Apr 15, 2014
  20. Trentacles

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    so insanely dodgy. i would just avoid him and date someone else mate (easier said than done i know)
     
    #80 Trentacles, Apr 15, 2014
    Last edited: Apr 15, 2014