Married and also involved

I would say cut your losses short now, I know it sucks, but it already seems as if she has already told you the ending results. I agree with Mabel. The only one losing in this situation is you. She seems content with how things are going, so unless the world ends, the decision already seems made. I know it sucks because you really want to be with this person all the time. You could just have a intimate relationship with her which I would not recommend for a person like you (emotionally invested), because it would be hard for you to just be intimate and not discuss anything personal, What seems like the best option is to just take one day at a time until you have enough strength to slowly wien her out of your system, which will be hard and take a long time. Mabel is right. These feelings will unfortunately remain there for awhile, I can not say that you will never get over her, I'm just saying it will take Time.

 

This is how I feel it will play out if you take these options. Option 1: you continue the way things are now, but you suffer because you want more and she can not give you that. Option 2: you let her know that this is too strong of feelings for you to handle. Results: she agrees and your hurt she agrees but she slowly lets you go for the better benefit of your well being. Option 3: I wouldn't say go ghost on her but only hit her up if she hits you up, this I believe will start giving you a little power over your emotions towards her. Option 4: you surpress all of these feelings because you want to be around her, but knowing you could only be used as an sexual encounter. I know all of these options suck lol I know, But some options spare your feelings a little more in the end.

 

She is only being truthful. So you interpret that exactly as she says it but not in a fairly tale way where you guys run off in the sunset, but just in a way of her saying this is what she misses about you.

 

Take it more as a compliment versus is this girl trying to make me fall in love. This is why I do not recommend you just being intimate, because she probably can say, "I love you" and be happy with the way things are, but you hear "K love you from here and think she wants to move forward with me.

 

She will continue to say amazing things to you, as she should, but you have to remind yourself to not take it as, I want to run away with you, unless she actually says, I want to run away with you.

 

You definitely have to stop lying to her saying you don't care when you do. Because she will think she is doing nothing wrong by talking to other girls when it just deepens your sadness. Stressing is not good for your well being.

 

That sounds straight out of a playbook lol. You are probably all of those things to her, but ultimately you would want to pursue something serious since she is saying all of these nice things to you. Girls are smooth talkers and they know what a girl needs to hear, I'm not saying she's lying but is she going to make you the only girl she takes serious? If so she should say that and treat it as such, which means not talking to other girls regardless of her liking them or not. I'm assuming she will say "I cannot make you my only girl, but you are important" so it still falls on what you would like to do. Do you want to be the only girl? Do you want to have a side relationship with this girl? Do you feel like she will replace you in the end? Ask her if she wants to make it official, as far as you will be the only girl and you guys can have a short distant relationship. So it's almost like you are part time girlfriends, I say part time because you do have a family already, just as she does. If she has a strong connection for you, then she should be able to say if she wants to be with you, not leaving your husband's but to be exclusive to each other. I would ask her if she wants to be exclusive with you. But in the end it still sucks, because you do not plan on telling your husband so eventually you will be forced to making a decision one way or another.

 

I think you are very much like me in that you get attached and friends with benefits doesn't cut it. The thing that bugs me about this is that she seems to have little remorse for the fact you are hurting. Granted you have only told her some of your hurt but let's be real. If you told her you don't want to hear about her convos with other girls, that should tell her that it's hurting you. If her flirting with other bothers you and she isn't willing to stop? That's not cool, that's careless. It also leads me to believe that if a chance popped up with another she would take it. From what I hear, I don't trust her.

 

I've been following this thread and just want you know I'm really feeling for you. I agree with what everyone has been saying here. Hang in there! It's so intense.

 

I'm sorry that your crush does not recognize or empathize with your feelings.

Might I suggest that you take a step back and look more comprehensively at your situation?

This woman is your trigger crush - she is forcing you to confront the possibility that you are not entirely straight.

You seem to be getting into trouble because you aren't being totally honest with her, your husband, and yourself at some level.

Better question to be asking right now...

• Are you mostly straight, bi-sexual, or lesbian?
• How do you proceed without going behind your husband's back?

 

Ugh. This is not healthy for you. I'm so sorry. You deserve better, though. I know it's hard to see past a situation when you are in love, though. You have all my empathy.

 

I just want to echo what others have already said and also say that I can tell that this sounds it's a real struggle for you. You sound like you're really hurting. I can't imagine being in the situation you're in. However, I agree with what other people have said and it's worth cutting your losses. You deserve a woman will love you and want to be with you. I hope that you're taking good care of yourself while you're going through this!

 

just to be clear - you are married and upset that she is not being exclusive even though you are cheating on your husband? i hope you see the irony in that ...