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Polygamy opinions

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Brandiac, Jan 12, 2015.

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What do you think about Polygamy?

Poll closed Feb 12, 2015.

  1. I accept it entirely, no probs.

    50 vote(s)
    39.7%

  2. I'm ok with it, but only in certain cases.

    21 vote(s)
    16.7%

  3. I'm neutral on this issue.

    18 vote(s)
    14.3%

  4. I generally disagree with it.

    23 vote(s)
    18.3%

  5. I think it's a disgrace and very destructive.

    9 vote(s)
    7.1%

  6. I don't care enough to have an opinion.

    5 vote(s)
    4.0%
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  1. Burnedcloset

    Burnedcloset
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    I think I would try it if, I was confident enough. I don't think I would like it though.
     
    #21 Burnedcloset, Jan 12, 2015
  2. Menaki-Neko

    Menaki-Neko
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    I think that it's completely acceptable as long as you're on the same page with all of your partners about it.
     
    #22 Menaki-Neko, Jan 12, 2015
  3. Pret Allez

    Pret Allez
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    I want all the penii and vulvae at the same time...
     
    #23 Pret Allez, Jan 12, 2015
  4. bicomplicated

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    I selected I am fine with it in certain situations. Only because I dislike the Mormon form of polygamy with one man many wives and the wives do not have the same right. Also sometimes teen wives are taken when these young wives don't even want to be in these marriages. However, when polly relationships are between consenting adults, I am whole heartedly supportive! And I am currently in my first polly relationship myself, and it is going well. :slight_smile:
     
    #24 bicomplicated, Jan 12, 2015
  5. Tightrope

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    Generally disagree.

    To each their own.

    I think people should stay single if they want to play the field. That way there are no misunderstandings. I do understand that, even if coupled, people will ALWAYS read the menu. They'd be lacking a pulse if they didn't.
     
    #25 Tightrope, Jan 12, 2015
  6. stocking

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    It's not for me but people doing it doesn't bother me .
     
    #26 stocking, Jan 12, 2015
  7. Black Raven

    Black Raven Guest

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    I'm afraid I'll have to disenchant that myth.

    I am ALWAYS completely open and honest about it:

    There is no room for misunderstandings.
    Some of those I wanted to pick up and were actually into me decided to not go for it after I told them. Some did. Everybody involved with me knows. Everybody.
     
    #27 Black Raven, Jan 12, 2015
    Last edited: Jan 12, 2015
  8. Tightrope

    Tightrope
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    Like I said, to each their own. It wouldn't work for me.
     
    #28 Tightrope, Jan 12, 2015
  9. Black Raven

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    Don't talk about people when it wouldn't work for you, then.
    You are not people.

    Yes, I feel like being very anal about this. Pun intended. *Badum-Tish*

    "It wouldn't work for me" is perfectly fine.
     
    #29 Black Raven, Jan 12, 2015
  10. MissMook

    MissMook
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    I think it's perfectly fine for other people who are into that, so long as everyone involved is happy with it. I'm actually quite envious of others who feel that they can share their love and be perfectly okay with each other about it.

    Speaking for myself though, I'm really adverse to the idea. Call me greedy but I'm pretty much a one-woman-every-commitment kind of person; I don't even like the idea of threesomes or swinging.

    Maybe it's my trust issues or maybe it's my lack of self-confidence; either way it's REALLY not my thing.

    For those of you who dig it though, have fun! ^___^
     
    #30 MissMook, Jan 12, 2015
  11. Brandiac

    Brandiac
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    I think that was the main idea behind why I opened the thread in the first place, and I was only thinking of non-mono in these terms, where the parties make this decision to avoid a heartbreak. So the OP was posted with not even nearly as much thought and consideration put into it as it should've been.
     
    #31 Brandiac, Jan 12, 2015
  12. resu

    resu
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    Yes, I was referring to state recognition of polygamous marriages; though, technically polygamy itself comes from the Greek terms for "multiple marriages". I just think that it will be abused. Who's to stop someone from claiming their 10, 15, 20 partners all should be recognized as their legal spouses? In Islam, there is a "limit" of four wives per man, but that is largely arbitrary (not to mention misogynistic).

    In addition, because there are roughly equal numbers of each gender in the world, polygamy also has the added problem of concentrating spouses around those with most power (men in almost all regions, though, there are some Chinese polyandric cultures). In the US, we have specific experiences with that, notably the Mormons who initially approved polygyny.
     
    #32 resu, Jan 12, 2015
  13. Najlen

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    Its great as long as all the people involved understand and are fine with the situation.
     
    #33 Najlen, Jan 12, 2015
  14. Oddish

    Oddish Guest

    I'm poly, I like people, I don't feel like I should be limited it only loving one person when I have the capacity to feel the same towards others. And no, I'm not putting partners on a hierarchy, nor am I just "sleeping around" or "playing". If it's consensual, I'm fine with it.
     
    #34 Oddish, Jan 12, 2015
  15. IG88

    IG88
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    I can't support polygamy in any way.

    How can we expect that adding more people to the mix is supposed to be healthy for marriage? Some people can't even focus on their one partner, how do you think they'll do with their love and affection and money divided among two or more?
     
    #35 IG88, Jan 12, 2015
  16. Kat 5

    Kat 5
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    Too many polygamous cults for me to be for it. If we get rid of those cults, then I will fully support it.
     
    #36 Kat 5, Jan 12, 2015
  17. Aussie792

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    Then those people should not engage in it.

    There are plenty of men who disrespect women, people who can't stand children yet accidentally end up with them and many adults who have problems forming any sort of healthy relationship. That doesn't mean they should be legally barred from marriage, however inadvisable it is on a personal level.

    If you want to be consistent in your argument, you should consider advocating banning certain people from all marriage - there's not much of a reason why said people should manage one person if they're unable to manage more if we're to go by what you've said. Even though that would be a horrible thing to do, at least it makes more sense than using it as the argument against polygamy, yet not venturing to argue against monogamy when those arguments evidently go that far, too.

    That they wouldn't be very good spouses isn't an exceedingly convincing argument for prohibiting their right to make the choice. That extends to polygamous marriage, too, especially given that it bars everyone from making that choice if they should so wish.
     
    #37 Aussie792, Jan 12, 2015
  18. Chip

    Chip
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    This is a delicate and touchy subject.

    It's my sense that polygamous relationships can, in theory, work and be emotionally and psychologically healthy. But I do think that you take all of the issues that tend to be present in monogamous relationships -- primarily focused on insecurities and difficulties with authentic communication -- and amplify them significantly when you have more than two people in a primary relationship.

    In a three-person relationship, it's very common for two of the people to end up feeling closer to one another, and the third one to end up feeling left out, or like a third wheel. These sorts of issues can be addressed through open communication and discussion, but that, in turn, takes major vulnerability and competence at really looking at one's own filters/feelings/biases, and that has to be present with all three people... which isn't common.

    So what ends up happening is that polyamorous relationships often attract people who have real difficulty with deep, emotionally intimate connection, because it's easier to avoid that if the connection is split with more than one other person. And that often sort of perpetuates the problems, rather than actually helping the people work through them.

    Of course... there are an awful lot of dysfunctional and unhealthy relationships, probably more of those than there are truly healthy ones. So in that regard, I suppose polygamous relationships may not be any worse than monogamous ones.
     
    #38 Chip, Jan 12, 2015
  19. Quem

    Quem
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    If they are adults who really want it, and there's mutual consent, then I don't see any reason for me to disagree. I'm not going to prohibit them from being happy, it's their decision, not mine. Thus, I fully accept it.
     
    #39 Quem, Jan 13, 2015
    Last edited: Jan 13, 2015
  20. QueerTransEnby

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    For a bi person especially, I find it very destructive. It could be my upbringing as well.

    1. I am a jealous person and would not want my partner sleeping with anyone.

    2. I am a person that values loyalty.

    3. I am very afraid of STD's.

    4. I have a problem with it morally.
     
    #40 QueerTransEnby, Jan 13, 2015
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