Polygamy opinions

I'm ok with it. I don't understand it, but there are a lot of things I don't understand. I picked "I'm ok with it, but only certain cases" because I'm ok with it, but I personally would not be part of a polygamous relationship.

 

I tend to think that if something is consensual, enjoyed by the people involved, and does not infringe on the rights of those around them...I see no reason why other people should get a say. This applies to pretty much everything, not just romance or sex-related topics, even if they are things that I personally find repulsive (like incest).

I have absolutely no problem with polyamory. I like the idea of being in a poly relationship, but I know that in reality, I am much too jealous of a person to be able to handle it emotionally. I think it would also have a horrendous effect on my self-esteem (I have physical & mental health issues, so would constantly be feeling like I was not as valued, because I'm broken).

I definitely agree that it's not for everybody...but for those who DO find it's what works for them? I'm all for it.

 

I am indifferent

 

And yet, we've yet to actually purge polygamy and polyamory from our species. Never have, probably never will.

I'll also point out that having more time to rear a child means you can pass on more skills, so simply having that time can lead to more complicated skills being taught to offspring. Correlation in this case does not mean one is a specific cause of the other. Nowadays, there is more of a feedback loop where the two can tug and pull at each other in a weird sort of attempt to find equilibrium. Which leads me to my last point...

Our society for a rather long time has gotten to the point where the parents simply cannot pass on the skills. Monogamy isn't required to run a Board of Education or even a community school house. Not to mention, if you have long-term polygamy, that doesn't diminish the ability of that "family unit" from rearing the child the way a monogamous couple can.

In fact, it sounds more like you are arguing against short-term relationships that lead to pregnancy than you are polygamy. And even then, it works for those species in part because you still have communal rearing, even if it doesn't involve the male nearly as much as it does with monogamous species.

 

I've got a funny feeling you think the 20th century explosion of the nuclear family originates well before its historical reality.

For most of human history, leaving the familial nest hasn't actually been very prevalent. In fact, polygamy holds slightly truer to the ancient traditions of extended families and local communal identity than the modern, small, civic family unit relatively detached from an immediate community as has been fostered by industrialisation. While they practiced monogamy for the most part, almost everything else that led up to now has also been discarded. That polygamy would destroy us or severely harm us, while urbanisation, industrialisation, mass-education and an international economy based on modern consumerism rather than agrarianism and bartering are all perfectly fine in fitting in with our ancient evolutionary conditions, is utter rubbish.

Monogamy is central to most human societies, but it's nowhere near as important as you make it out to be. The modern family is certainly detached from the traditions and societies that led us to be who we are, socially and in terms of evolution. Polygamy doesn't change that.

Should I even get into the fact that civilisation has existed well after the development of humans?

 

I don't exactly know how to vote here. I personally am not interested in ever being polyamorous/having a polygamous relationship. I can't imagine that it would ever be appealing or desirable to me. That being said, as long as it doesn't involve me (meaning as long as the person I'm dating isn't polyamorous), I have no problem with it. I don't think it is inherentlying wrong or anything like that. Just not my cup of tea, personally.... so I guess I would sort of be option #2: I'm okay with it in some cases?!?

 

When I see women being allowed to take multiple husbands, then I'll be ok with it. But for now I think it degrades the perceptions of a woman's value in a relationship.

Its incredibly destructive.

 

Ok, yes, let me be clear, since there seems to be this understandable misunderstanding about whether we are talking about polygamy (the thread's title) or polyamory, which isn't even a recognized word by EC's text editor's spell-checker. *sigh*

Polygamy entails sanctioning marriage between 1 man and several women. It certainly entails an *implication*, at least, that women are not permitted to take multiple husbands as well. Basically, to me, this is simply extending the notion of "property" that I associate with monogamous marriage (1 man and the woman he's given ownership of) so that men can hold additional property. The whole concept reeks to me, and I have serious issues with it (even though I hear the people screaming "monogamous marriage these days isn't [always] like that"...yeah...I'm quite sure polygamous marriage isn't either, but that is the nature of the institution, so I'll hold onto my reservations).

Polyamory, by contrast, seems to allow for the pure *absence* of ownership...it allows for whatever level of freedom or commitment that all people involved agree to. It seems a rather wide arena to unconditionally condone or sweepingly condemn. It would appear to me that there are styles/implementations of polyamory that I would take issue with, as well as styles/implementations that have significant advantages over polyamory and that I would readily try. The devil always resides in the specifics.

But yeah...let's be clear on exactly what it is we're condemning or calling harmful to society.