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What's Your Story of Coming Out to Yourself?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by BiBoyToy, Feb 21, 2021.

  1. BiBoyToy

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    Congratulations, that's wonderful! I'm happy to hear that your partner is super supportive.
     
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  2. ShyBirdy

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    I'm finding reading these very helpful. I'm still very confused about my sexuality, and am currently going thru the emotional rollercoaster so many have described. It's nice to know that's "normal" and hopefully that it will pass.
     
  3. BiBoyToy

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    I'm soo happy to hear that! :slight_smile:
     
  4. out2019

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    This was such a powerful moment for me too. It still is. I wasn't prepared for the wave of positive emotions i felt. The first time I literally started shaking in my knees and sunk to the floor in a feeling of warmth and happiness.
     
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  5. BiBoyToy

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    Looking at myself in the mirror and saying I'm bisexual out loud really help me as well. I was surprised how normal it sound and how good it made me feel.
     
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  6. Frederik

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    till 18-19 i always searched in sexy website to see naked pictures or sexy videos about girls . later one day one of boys from former high school kissed me and that was first time i had that experience with a boy . and i really enjoyed . after that slowly i felt boys are more attractive to me instead of girls . one day accidentally i found tumblr and i started to search in blogs to see boys pictures . than i really realized and felt boys are so hot , sexy and cute to me . when i walked to street automatically only cute boys will attract my eyes . i also saw a lot teen gay videos and i extremely love it to feel it and try it and slowly i found my self as Gay . i love it and im so proud of it :sparkles:
     
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  7. BiBoyToy

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    I'd love to read more stories about people coming out to themselves!
     
  8. out2019

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    When I should have known:
    Masturbating as a 14 year old, trying to 'get off' on all the hot girls in school... then I thought of him....this kid in my class that I consciously had no idea liked- everyone teased him for being gay. I instantly orgasmed.

    But.. I felt really ashamed, and started dating girls it was possible to get 'enjoyment' out of that - first time, trying things, status, being caressed, but whenever I fantasized, it was always about a guy then I would 'switch' at the last minute before orgasming to 'prove' I wasn't gay.

    For some reason, a few year ago, I was masturbating and a thought came into my head, I wasn't going to 'switch' and if I did that there was no turning back, I was gay.
    I did it, felt guilty, denied it but the seed was there... one weekend I came here and posted something like "I think I might gay" I was amazed how excited, distressed, uncomfortable but thrilled I felt. I remember my hands literally shaking when I switched my user status to gay.

    The big turning points here:
    • Someone suggested going to the mirror and saying " I am gay" I wasn't prepared for the strong rush of warm, joy filled emotion.
    • When I was in denial/doubting, someone else suggested imaging "coming home from work, who do you imagine kissing and saying I love you" - that's the first time real romantic fantasies slipped in an I realized how happy I was with the idea of being with a man.
    • Calling a help line and saying to another person that I was gay. I realized how natural and normal it felt.
     
    #28 out2019, Mar 24, 2021
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 24, 2021
  9. Comrade

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    I was sitting on the couch and I started thinking about stuff. I thought I was bi at the time and I just wanted to know for sure. So I held a little
    'trial' in my head and I found out I was gay. That was a little to much for my 11-year old head.
     
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  10. BiBoyToy

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    Before I accepted my bisexuality, I would also always switch at the last minute while fantasizing about having sex with a man or watching gay porn as well. Looking back, I don't really think it was to try and prove to myself that I wasn't bisexual. I'm honestly not sure why I would switch at the last minute. I think it might of had something to do with shame, which is ridiculous.
     
  11. ShyBirdy

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    I've only recently come out to myself, about 2 months ago.

    I've known I"ve been attracted to women since I was in my late teens, and I guess I kinda thought I was bisexual, but mostly I have tried to suppress that part of myself, and I've never told anyone. Because I do sometimes get attracted to guys, a few years ago I decided to try and "choose" to be straight, but that ended up with me shutting my sexuality off entirely, so I didn't get attracted to anyone at all.

    I've been seeing a therapist for a while now for anxiety, and I'm learning mindfulness, and learning to sit and actually feel my feelings instead of ignoring them. And of course, that has led to feeling and acknowledging my attraction to women. For some reason, this time I just decided to accept myself as I am, and not try to run away from, or suppress my attraction to anyone, regardless of what gender they are.
     
  12. BiBoyToy

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    Nice! I'm happy to hear that. :slight_smile: As of now, how do you identify sexually? If you don't mind me asking.
     
    #32 BiBoyToy, Mar 31, 2021
    Last edited: Mar 31, 2021
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  13. ShyBirdy

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    I guess I'm identifying as bisexual, although I'm really wondering if I'm a lesbian. I've never dated before, but now that I'm thinking about dating women, I'm actually excited to try meeting new people, and thinking of getting new clothes/haircut etc (once Covid is better anyways lol) Before, when I thought of dating guys, I was never that motivated, and didn't worry that much about how I looked. There's some other things that make me think I'm more attracted to women too.
     
  14. LostInDaydreams

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    Hi @ShyBirdy

    I can relate a little to this. For me the thought of dating a man was more uninteresting than it was repulsive. Even when I was intimate with my ex it was more boring than anything else. Also, one of the things that helped me realise that I’m gay was how dull the prospect of only having relationships with men seemed.

    If you like, you could start your own thread to discuss the other things. :slight_smile:
     
  15. vben

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    I like the stories here and yours.
    So you thought you'd like girls because that's all you've heard of and learned?
    Great that someone helped you realize what you like, saved a lot of time.
     
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  16. BiBoyToy

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    I really like them as well. They have been very helpful for me! :slight_smile:
     
  17. BiBoyToy

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    I look forward to reading more!
     
  18. out2019

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    Yes same with me.
     
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  19. out2019

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    Exact same for me except with women. When I finally let myself think about dating guys there was no comparison.
     
    #39 out2019, Apr 8, 2021
    Last edited: Apr 8, 2021
  20. DecentOne

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    If you go back to my early posts here on EC, I was posting as a straight ally. But a little over 3 years ago something was changing. I’ll try to condense here:

    Late in life (married for decades, kids grown adults, gray hair - what’s left of it) my fantasies switched to all-male, all the time. I wasn’t alarmed or ashamed but curious and confused. I also realized I still wanted sex with my wife. Watching “Love, Simon” with my wife when it was in the theater also nudged something. I discussed a bit here in the forums, including the fact that I don’t think I’d ever had a groin reaction to a guy in real life. So what was this? I got suggestions here on EC to look in the mirror and say “I’m gay!”, but that didn’t feel like it fit - I wasn’t ashamed, it was just a reaction “that’s not true” like saying I was from a different national origin. I told my wife what was going on, and that I needed to see a therapist, and that I didn’t know what this was meaning. She said she’d be surprised if I was gay but she would support me. So I went to a therapist (after interviewing three, for a sense of fit). Within a few sessions it was clear I was bisexual. That was cool. I still don’t know “why now?”, but I’ve decided the main thing is to embrace this part of me, proclaim it.

    Lots of folks on EC had strong evidence or knowledge when they were young. Not me. When I recalled my early teen years, entering puberty, there were a couple of “weak” (therapist’s words) pieces of evidence (never any kissing or sex, but emotional moments with guy friends, and some staring at guys). But lots of strong “firm” evidence of attraction to females. I even told my best friend “I like people” (and in my circle there was no name for that, so was it a first coming out or not??). I think if I had figured it out back then, and experimented, I might be dead from AIDS. I remember I nixed the idea of going to the beaches of Fire Island with my best friend, I didn’t know what it was known for, but I would have found out. Nobody at the time knew that it was a hotspot for a deadly virus that wouldn’t be revealed until years later. (Yeah, my best friend came out as gay after graduation, somehow he had learned about Fire Island when we were in high school, but didn’t explain why we needed to go all that distance to be there, so we didn’t).
     
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