Depressed Hetero Male Seeking Advice on Lesbian ex Best Friend.

Well my best friend didn't know I was gay and we are in relationship. I stopped seeing my friend for a while... you know to let things cool off. Forgiven my boyfriend.

Then between us things get even uglier... those days were nightmare for me and still not very comfortable remembering those. I was soo in love with him. Maybe I mentioned it earlier but my best friend is like a sister to me. She understands me better than my brother and even closer to me than him. He started saying he would f*** me when he wants a boy and would f*** my bestie when he wants a girl, explained his great plans for pulling all of us into a trio.

I was disgusted, hurt but accepted whatever he said because I was loving him. Probably it was more than love. For a gay guy who was bullied, used sexually by every man he knew without seeing any love, on every turn heard he is worthless, most disgusting being on the face of earth he was the only one accepting me as who I am. He was the only thing mattered for me in my life.

Things were getting worse by each day. I was showing less and less affection to him and sex. Once he tried to initiate sex I refused him for the first time. He forced himself onto me. After he saw blood on his tool he was amused and told "Wow! This way it was more exciting and sweet!". In coming days he also opened a porn mag on my back and commented and shared his fantasies about girls in it while f***ing me.

He didn't realized I was an empty husk then. I was numb and I held onto notion of loving him.

One day his old female friend show up. They started to spent so much time together. I confronted him about it and he said they were sharing things he can't share with me. I suspected somethings but didn't press the issue as I was having worst days of my life. Some other matters, money problems came to surface and I totally lost trust of every human being known me.

He said he can't handle this situation and will leave me. Also admitted he had something going with her but it was only sexual. I said okay but told him if he ever came back to me it would be either her or me. He had to make a choice.

He came back. I wasn't deep into illusion of love however it was still nice to have someone who's accepting me as who I am. Then one day after we had sex, he went to bathroom for cleaning himself. I was lying in on the bed, naked. He causally said "I can't believe stupid bitch claims she got pregnant from me yesterday!". I never felt that vulnerable, that naked. Part of me, struggling to survive by holding onto him died that day.

He tried to hang on with me couple of more days but I finally didn't stop him while he threatened me to leave.

The End.

Hope didn't bore or disgust you with long and kinda graphic summary of my first failure.:icon_redf

 

Hold your horses mate. Don't do something you would regret. There is more to live than this little trauma you are going through.

You know what they say, love and hate are the two faces of same coin. That is why deepest love can turn into ice cold hate in one moment. She probably hate you... sorry to say that but it looks like that way. There is nothing you can do to change that unfortunately. To me it looks like she is trying to exterminate you from her life without any evidence left.

Even it is mostly her fault, it is easier to blame someone else for our problems.

I can't offer much to compansate other than an ear (or eyes in this case) to listen you and share your burden.

Time is the best medicine to most of our problems. Just hold on, this will pass.

Hugs (if you accept one from a gay guy )

 

Also
@Stocking:

While facing my own hell forgot about giving an update about my best friend. We knew each other as long as I can remember. Born as neighbour kids and we are inseparable since then.

After cooling off we continue as usual. She is the only real life person knows that I am gay. While we were talking about that boyfriend, of course without mentioning what they did, she get a bit uncomfortable so I won't ever mention closely related to that occasion to her again.

I am glad even in my that sick mental state I didn't give up on her. Her friendship is more valueable for me than any guy on earth.

 

I think your boyfriend is clearly bi no wonder he keeps going back to these women but he'll always say oh it's sexual but he's also a cheater too I'm glad your not with him anymore that sounds very hurtful

---------- Post added 25th Mar 2014 at 09:50 AM ----------

true

---------- Post added 25th Mar 2014 at 09:54 AM ----------

You are setting yourself up for more trouble , move on and forget about this girl delete the profile and move on . I hate to say this but what happened here was her and your fault . you both chose to sleep together , you also showed disrespect to her relationship as well. Next time if your gonna sleep with someone make sure they are single and not with someone else . You can't have this girl she is more invested in her relationship with her girlfriend , it will be wise to move on and stop now . your setting yourself up for more heartache move on . There are plenty of women out there , and even if you did get this girl she will do the same thing to you she did to her own girlfriend
move on. Move on by cutting off all contact with her .

 

Let it go hun , girls like these are dangerous it's better to be out them that with them , how do I know I dated a girl like this once . she didn't cheat on me with a man but with another girl and although our situations were different a lot different . Girls like these are nothing but trouble . Clearing the air with them is a waste of time move on and live a happy life . There girls out there that will treat you a lot better than this . There are better women out there .

 

Stocking is right. Girls like her are trouble, your best option would be to cut all ties with her.

 

Dude - that is super SUPER creepy. Leave her alone. I know you don't think what happened was rape, but she obviously does and she doesn't want anything to do with you any more. Respect that and back off.

Right now you sound like a goddamn stalker.

 

Yeah, seriously. Take it easy.




Closure, I think that you need to just let this go. I know it's hard and it's all you've been thinking about, but she did say that you raped her and then got you fired. I think that she really couldn't care less about clearing the air with you. I feel you should try your best to not worry so much about. Good luck.

 

So you're trying to tell me it's not creepy to make a fake facebook account and impersonate someone else to try and talk to a woman that doesn't want to talk to you and has done all she can to block you out of her life? All this effort, just to pry into her feelings about you?

I think I'm going to have to disagree with you there. That is grade A creepy.

 

Just how sure are you that she really wanted to sleep with you at the time? One thing I could definitely see happening is a miscommunication, where she didn't want to sleep with you but was too drunk to refuse, and you might have thought that meant yes. It is odd that she was sleeping over at your place to begin with, and I don't claim to know any of the details specific to this situation, but the miscommunication thing all too often DOES lead to rape. The man can be adamant that she wanted it at the time, but that does not make it not rape. Stories like this are difficult to judge from an outside perspective though, because there are so many different ways it could have played out. I'm so sorry that this thing happened to both of you.

 

This is probably the best advice, regardless of what actually happened. As long as she thinks it was rape, it would be better for her mental health for you to stay away, and for yours. Try to have some compassion for her, and try to move on with your life.

---------- Post added 26th Mar 2014 at 03:14 PM ----------

Does that make sense?

 

DON'T CALL HER.

You are acting like a stalker. Leave her alone. Immediately.

If you honestly want help, find yourself a counsellor or psychologist to help you. You are not responding to this in a healthy way. She has put up a pretty clear boundary and you are completely ignoring it.

She is not going to accept your advances. Stop. Stop stalking her on the internet, delete her phone number from your phone.

Right now you are heading towards her having to get a restraining order to make you stop. I seriously doubt you want that so you should really stop voluntarily.