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"bi" is a flawed and incoherent category and leads to confusion for a lot of people.

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by NonsnsOnStilts, May 6, 2014.

  1. Hi,

    I am starting this thread because I feel that a lot of people struggle with the fear that I've also struggled with, which is "what if I am bisexual?". I also question the way we define orientation based on "attraction" rather than innate preference.

    I feel that the concept of bisexuality is itself a flawed concept, which really pushes back everybody who is not a Kinsey 6 deeply back into the closet, creates lot's of confusion, and is detrimental to people who are innately "bisexual" = capable of equally fulfilling relationships with both genders, and not just 'capable of bisexual interest'.

    I believe that there are people who are a Kinsey 3, and who really like both equally, but the problem with the bi identity is that it makes a Kinsey 3 in the eyes of the world out of all the 2s and 5s. as well, which creates a lot of anguish for a lot of people, and it does a disservice to people who actually have a innate capacity for relationships with both sexes.

    A lot of what I've read about bisexuality seems to point to this table:

    heterosexual+hetero-romantic=straight
    heterosexual+bi-romantic=bi
    bisexual+hetero-romantic=bi
    bisexual+bi-romantic= bi
    bisexual+homo-romantic=bi
    homosexual+bi-romantic= bi
    homosexual+ homo-romantic= gay


    I am the case of homosexual+bi-romantic, or somebody who CAN and who HAD sex with men and loved men, but who does not want it, because overall something deep and important is missing from my relationships and fundamentally, from sex with men.
    Also I am almost not attracted to them physically, but I can be on other levels.

    Strictly speaking I am a bi-romantic, homoflexible homosexual, who chooses not to date men.
    I am open to my dates about it, but I overall I use the short hand "gay" for myself, because I don't want to my occasional attractions to men to be perceived as something that defines me.
    However there will always be a person who will want to say to me that I am 'bi', and I'll feel like they are forcing something on me that I am not, because I feel that inside, at my core, I am only compatible with women.
    Somebody telling me that I am 'bi' makes me feel like they are telling me that I 'ought to' date men. The reasons why it feels like that are outlined below.


    1) sexual orientation is understood as based on 'attraction'.

    2) 'bisexual' is the most often chosen description for attraction to men and women, even if one is much less intense, or sexual.

    3) regardless of the variations and preferences of the individual: eg. a person who occasionally finds opposite sex attractive, but never wants a relationships with them, or can not fall in love beyond flirtatious infatuation, 'bisexual' is always read socially as:

    ''is attracted to both sexes equally and is capable of having a romantic relationship with either."

    "Bisexual" is a function which gives the social output 'Kinsey 3', regardless if the person is a 2, or a 5.1.

    4) The cultural expectations put on the male are different than the ones put on the female: the straight male has to just act on his attraction, and is generally not the recipient of attention. The female is the recipient of male attraction.

    Presenting yourself as 'bisexual" basically means being read as 'straight', because 1) bisexual is presumed to always mean a Kinsey 3, and from that everybody just reads off the 'interested in men' part.
    2)heterosexist culture sees straight relationships as inherently superior, therefore the temptation is to treat the bi person as 'temporarily into same-sex'.

    I get on great with guys, I really love them as friends and I want to be close to them as friends. Identifying as bi, means having to constantly 'come out' as not being 'really' into guys, having to maintain boundaries becomes kind of tiresome after a while.

    In that sense I feel that being labelled as 'bi' does nothing for me when it comes to removing the presumptions of heterosexuality, I still function for everybody as 'interested in men', which to me means like being pushed back into the closet, over and over again.


    I also think defining human orientation based purely on "attraction" is doing a lot of people a disservice: reading posts here it is evident that for some people attraction to personality takes priority over attraction to gender, for example, and yet sexually they might still be gay.
    Many people are capable of getting aroused by both sexes, and yet they have an innate preference for one. I might sexually fantasise about dragons, or aliens for example, but that does not make me want and be capable of having a relationship with either.


    Labelling people who are gay but have occasional opposite sex attractions (that they don't necessarily act on!) as 'bi', makes them 'not gay', and for me that feels like sanitising my queer identity, making it 'more acceptable' to the straight world. Similarly it makes some anxious people worry endlessly whether they are 'gay or not', because they once slept with a same-sex person.

    Also labelling a person who is 'not straight': experiences occasional non-serious attraction to the same sex as 'bi' creates problems for all those Kinsey 3 people who don't have a preference for either gender/sex, because by labelling them with the same name we make their sexuality equivalent, and so deem their same sex attractions 'not serious'.

    I think by keeping the 'bi' label so broad, and by defining orientation by attraction and not by innate preference we create a lot of anguish for people who are questioning, and it leads to them going over and over in their head through their past arousals.


    Anyone who wonders "am I bi or gay?" should be told to ask themselves a question:
    do you like both sexes equally and genuinely don't care whom you end up with as a life partner? Are you equally compatible with both? if the answer is "no", then you are not 'bi', but either straight or gay and flexible/curious.

    The position " You can have a gay preference, but still be 'bi'" is really not helpful to a lot of people who want to come out and shut the closet door behind them because being 'bi' makes us keep trying to make it in the straight world,
    because 'we like the opposite sex, but are just picky, so maybe there is that one person who will make us happy', when in reality we aren't just "picky" but are simply not that compatible with opposite sex, despite sometimes liking some opposite sex people.

    Of course this is controversial, but for me keeping the bi label so wide, and including all the people who have a preference for one sex, over the other under it, creates a situation which dilutes homosexuality, it makes a Kinsey 5 lesbian be seen as "oh she might still end up with a man" and a person who is a Kinsey 3 who is attracted to a same sex person as 'not really serious' because they are 'bisexual' and 'they are really straight' (based on the assumption that 'all bisexuals are really only bi-curious straights').


    On one of the bisexual awareness sites they rewrite the Kinsey scale as all the numbers between in between 0 and 6 yielding 'bisexual'.

    Really? It puts a Kinsey 5 and 1 together into one category, it defines them both as 'people who are attracted to the opposite sex', to me it looks dangerously close to 'will end up in a straight relationship', which does a complete disservice to anyone who is seriously interested in same sex relationships, also the people who are a Kinsey 3.

    For me being 'bisexual': having the capacity to be aroused/interested by both genders is not the same as having the innate capacity to have fulfilling relationships with both, and one is does not necessarily imply the other, and yet we are constantly told to think like that, which leads to false hopes, delusions and unhappy marriages.

    This is a source of a lot of anguish in questioning people, because by defining orientation through 'attraction' we condemn those people to constantly question their innate feeling about themselves and to keep testing their attraction, and not look into their heart at what they want/who makes them feel 'right'. It makes having homosexual and straight sex and relationships equivalent in all aspects apart from initial attraction: when really, I think some people can only 'fit' with a same sex person, regardless of how much they are attracted to an opposite sex person.
    I might be attracted to certain clothes, and really want to wear them, but they simply will fit wrongly: I should look at myself to see what would fit me, and not try to find out about myself through my taste in clothes.

    Having a capacity for bisexual interests, does not make you 'bi' in the sense that you will be innately compatible in relationships with either, and that it will make you happy, it is likely that innately you have a preference, and that preference makes you either gay or straight, and unless you feel that innately you'll fit with both men and women, and that it absolutely does not matter which one it is, then you should not be squeezed into the 'bi box', regardless of occasional bi attractions.

    I feel that we really need to find new terms because "bisexual" as become such a broad term that it is meaningless- it helps gay people to delude themselves that maybe they'll find one opposite sex person with they'll click with, and it exposes people who don't have a preference for either sex to prejudice and heterosexism from both gay and straight communities, whilst leading to worry and anguish in questioning people.


    Apologies for the length of the post, but I feel quite strongly about it.
     
  2. ChromeNerd

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    Re: "bi" is a flawed and incoherent category and leads to confusion for a lot of peop

    I agree. I think the term bi should be used for people who are able to be completely happy with both or all genders. I don't like the word bi because whenever I look at an attractive guy I wonder if it makes me bi or if I'm just looking at him. Sometimes I feel like I'm sort of attracted to guys, but I never know if that's real attraction or not.

    I tried to come out as gay when I was fourteen. No one was ready to hear that. They all told me it was a phase just because I'm femme and young. Those people said it's because of my age, but I think it mostly had to do with my gender presentation. If I would have been butch, they would have told me that they knew all along. Or at least take me seriously.

    After that I started believing I was bi because I thought I was too feminine to be gay. I also felt "sort of maybe" attracted to guys. I didn't really want to be gay so I identified as bi. It was actually way easier to come out as bi. Most people never told me it was a phase. They still thought that I would end up with a man, but they didn't straight up tell me that it was just a phase.

    Now that I think of it they didn't assume that I meant that I would be happy with both genders. I think they thought that I would just experiment with girls or simply think they are nice to look at and only have serious relationships with men. Coming out as bi only gave me pseudo-acceptance. I guess no one wants to believe that a girl like me can be in a serious relationship with a girl.
     
  3. Chip

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    Re: "bi" is a flawed and incoherent category and leads to confusion for a lot of peop

    This post is a great example of why the whole separation of romantic and sexual orientations is not only confusing, but often problematic.

    Alfred Kinsey, who conducted the largest study ever done on human sexuality, and whose Kinsey Institute continues to do research on human sexuality, developed the Kinsey scale (0 to 6) for human sexual orientation, with 0 being totally straight and 6 being totally gay. Kinsey's research indicated that only a small portion of the population was truly straight or gay, and that everyone else was somewhere on the spectrum. Granted, there were sampling issues and other problems with Kinsey's work, but for the most part his theories have been borne out by other researchers.

    People are entitled to use whatever labels they wish. If someone who is a Kinsey 5 or a Kinsey 1 wants to call him or herself bisexual, there's nothing wrong with that.

    There are a lot of people who are, by pretty much every definition, gay, but who refuse to acknowledge their same sex experiences and complete lack of interest/desire for the opposite sex attractions and label themselves as straight or bisexual. Those may not be accurate labels, they may inhibit the person from accepting his or her true self, but it's not anyone's place to say they can't label themselves that way.

    Ditto the unrecognized/unsupported separation between romantic and sexual orientation. For the most part, those are "bridge" identities (though you'll never convince the people holding them that's the case) and, for those who use them, they are valid and worthwhile even though there's little to no evidence for that separation, except as a transient stage for people in the "bargaining" phase of the coming out process.

    When someone adopts a label that's usually seen as a transition label, it may, assuming it is actually a part of the "bargaining" process, stop him or her from continuing to do the work to fully accept him or herself.

    If someone who is depressed, has other psychological issues, or has some sort of trauma that inhibits him or her from being open to vulnerability and connection, s/he may incorrectly label him or herself asexual or demisexual, and give up on working through the issues that inhibit connection. Of course, there may be those (and in the case of asexuality, it's well documented and legitimate, albeit a really tiny portion of the population) who legitimately fall into one of these categories.

    In short... in my opinion, bisexual people most certainly exist, and anyone is entitled to use whatever labels they wish. Where we get into trouble is asserting what labels someone should or should not, or are or are not entitled to use
     
  4. happydavid

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    Re: "bi" is a flawed and incoherent category and leads to confusion for a lot of peop

    That's confused my stupid head. I'm defiantly Bi
     
  5. Quem

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    Re: "bi" is a flawed and incoherent category and leads to confusion for a lot of peop

    This is right indeed. It is difficult for those who really are bisexual. Hearing "you're just confused" or even "you are not bisexual, you're straight/gay" is annoying and frustrating. I really hope people won't use the term bi when it's not appropriate. Use bisexual when you are sure you (almost) equally love men and women; don't use it when you're in fact gay.
     
  6. biAnnika

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    Re: "bi" is a flawed and incoherent category and leads to confusion for a lot of peop

    Yay! Chip, at least, thinks I exist.

    Now, are you willing to stand behind that, Chip? Or is it "just an opinion" and therefore just as valid as someone's opinion that I don't exist?

    And to the others...get over it. If there is a group of people with a certain characteristic (say X), then there's nothing wrong with having a word for people who are X. Now if X happens to be a "softening" of another characteristic (say Y) that lots of people don't want to have for whatever reason, then we can't be shocked if many people who are Y choose for a time or indefinitely to identify as Y. It's unfortunate, perhaps, but it doesn't make the word for X meaningless, nor does it mean that truly X people don't exist. It just means people are misusing a word. People misuse lots of words these days...doesn't make the words bad or mean that we need new words.

    (People misuse the word "random" all the time these days to mean "unexpected"...can't think of a reason either word needs to be replaced. It just means some people don't mind sounding stupid.)

    Bisexuals get really sick of being told we don't exist, or having people speculate on our existence or the extent to which we're "transitory" or just "confused". And we (based on many discussions and threads on a bisexual site over 7 years) also have a fairly broad definition of "who can be in the club"...basically, we seem to be fine with Kinsey 1-5 being called bisexual (and for that matter, there are many debates as to whether you all exist, or whether we're all bisexual...but I tend to think that's bollocks, since you pretty clearly exist).

    And ChromeNerd, if finding yourself looking at an attractive guy makes you think about whether you're bisexual or just looking, then that's a reason to *like* the word...because clearly there's an issue there, and besides, thinking is just plain good.

    ---------- Post added 6th May 2014 at 03:20 PM ----------

    A lot of people also misspell the word "definitely" as "defiantly"...but in this case, whether it was intentional or ironic, given the context, I like it! :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:
     
  7. ChromeNerd

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    Re: "bi" is a flawed and incoherent category and leads to confusion for a lot of peop

    I don't like the word bisexual. I think it's pointless to use that word to describe me. I just don't think anyone will take my attraction to girls seriously if I describe myself as bi. I'm also not even sure if I'm actually attracted to guys.

    Even if I am slightly attracted to guys I just don't think the word "bisexual" does my sexuality any justice. I'd rather people just face the fact that I'm going to have serious relationships with women and probably not with men than let themselves believe that I'll end up with a man and only experiment with women.

    I just wish the word queer was more widely used. I think it's a way better word than bisexual. I think people should only use the word bisexual if they know for sure they want to date both genders.
     
    #7 ChromeNerd, May 6, 2014
    Last edited: May 6, 2014
  8. Re: "bi" is a flawed and incoherent category and leads to confusion for a lot of peop

    I think the issue for me is that 'bisexual' means different things to different people.
    It functions socially as assigning a Kinsey 3 to everybody who is not a 0 or 6.
    The "bi function" basically "swallows" up the middle of the Kinsey scale, making it look as follows: {0, 3, 3, 3, 3, 3, 6} and as a result a lot of self-delusion and confusion occurs, and it makes it difficult to see that 'real' 3s out there.

    A bisexual who does not not have a preference when it comes to gender is not the same as the one who does have a preference, we should not use the same word for both, because it is a disservice for both types of people.

    My post is not an 'attack' on people who choose that identity, but on the way that identity is ascribed to different types of people, who are NOT the same, but who end up feeling that they are the same and feel compelled to conform to what that label entails.


    The reason why for me the label is confusing is simple: if I feel that at my heart I am gay, but sometimes will experience a draw to a guy, it will make me doubt myself, especially with an opposite-sex past, and no doubt others will feel like that as well.

    If somebody tells me then " you are bisexual"( and some gold stars like doing that!) I'll fell that I ought to act on my draw to said guy: because I make great friends with guys, and being in a relationship with somebody you are friends with is 'the dream' right? Wrong. Simply wrong.

    I've slept with guys, and loved them but there was something missing: this makes me have bisexual potential, but does not make me the type of bisexual who does not differentiate between sexes.

    Adopting the bi identity because I've felt at some point drawn to a guy enough to sleep with him and love him as a person, made me think: "ahh, I am bisexual, I like both equally, and it does not make a difference, love is love", especially because this was what I've read everywhere, and off I went trying making a relationship work that was doomed from the start because for me it DOES make a difference whom I have a relationship with.

    Making the label so broad that it fits everybody who is not a Kinsey 6 or 0 makes everybody who is not a Kinsey 6 or 0 be perceived, or be deluded into thinking that they they are a 3.
    It makes a Kinsey 5,4,2 and 1, into a 3, when in fact they are distinct. That is not to say that 3s don't exist, but they are the ones who suffer from the way the category operates and it makes invisible all the people who are not a 3.


    For some people who whatever reason actually get on well with opposite sex people, or maybe grew up in a conservative upbringing not being a 6 will make them stick to living the life of a 1, because it is easier, or because they keep deluding themselves.

    Sexual categories don't exist in a vacuum, they exist in a heterosexist world, and I think that the way bisexual identity gets assigned works to maintain heterosexism.
     
  9. ChromeNerd

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    Re: "bi" is a flawed and incoherent category and leads to confusion for a lot of peop

    I think with femmes like me they assume that bisexual must mean a 1 or 2.
     
  10. TheStormInside

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    Re: "bi" is a flawed and incoherent category and leads to confusion for a lot of peop

    So... I'm still sort of new to all of this, but my feeling is that you choose your "label," not your friends, your family, your partners. If you are uncomfortable being labeled "bisexual," then don't accept that label? I'm sure there are plenty of heterosexuals who have an occasional same-sex attraction, if someone called them bisexual and they didn't feel that fit them they wouldn't accept it, either.

    Personally I feel like subdividing and subdividing labels upon labels just confuses things further. It also serves to isolate a group of people who are already by our nature feeling sort of isolated in the heterosexual world, and puts up further barriers by creating a language that no one outside the community can grasp.

    My understanding of bisexual is not "liking men and women equally" but simply "liking men and women." I feel like the more specific it gets the more limiting, and the more "exclusive."

    Yes, it can confuse things for those of us who are questioning. But I feel like you have to trust people to come to their own conclusions about themselves with time. Bisexuality does exist and it shouldn't be glossed over as an "option," and if it means something a little different from one person to the next why does that matter so much? This process is hard enough as it is, why not let people identify how they are comfortable identifying, and if that changes in time, it changes.
     
    GayTurtle likes this.
  11. Chip

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    Re: "bi" is a flawed and incoherent category and leads to confusion for a lot of peop

    I know of no credible professionals, nor credible organizations, research studies, or other documents that deny that bisexuality exists. It most certainly does by every measure we have.

    Unfortunately, we also have, as I've said, many people who use it as a "bridge" label while they're getting comfortable accepting they're gay. I think it is sometimes an intentional choice, but often not; at the time when someone who is, honestly, gay adopts the "bisexual" label, s/he honestly believes that s/he is bisexual. It is only when the last stages of bargaining are past that the person can then own the accurate label.

    And that, of course, makes people think that *all* people who label as bisexual are really gay and not yet accepting it.

    Unfortunately, there's nothing anyone can do about that, nor is it reasonable to tell anyone not to use the label if they are other than 50/50 gay/straight. If someone is 80/20, they are just as entitled to use the bisexual label as someone who is 50/50 or 20/80. There are no "label police" (except, perhaps, self-appointed ones.)
     
  12. Chip

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    Re: "bi" is a flawed and incoherent category and leads to confusion for a lot of peop

    Amen! Preach it, Brother!

    Honestly, I could not agree with the above more heartily. While I honor the right of anyone to choose whatever label they wish, recognized or otherwise, I wholeheartedly agree that it creates confusion and serves to splinter the community with no positive benefit. Of course, nobody's going to convince those with the unrecognized labels that this is the case.

    So it's a fine line: We need to respect people's right to use unrecognized labels, but it also is helpful to understand that those labels are not, in the broader sense, helpful to anyone.
     
  13. wanderinggirl

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    Re: "bi" is a flawed and incoherent category and leads to confusion for a lot of peop

    DUDES. YES.

    I have been questioning slash bi slash possibly gay but maybe actually straight for over a year now. I dated two amazing women. I have been analyzing all my behaviors and all my actions and it's been exhausting. I then tried to subdivide my orientation into sexual and romantic. That made things worse and confusing because I began to worry what if I were homoromantic and heterosexual? Who would I ever find?? This just created more anxiety.

    I'm trying really hard to just go with my gut. I currently have a preference for women even though I have enjoyed my experiences with guys in the past. But whenever I am checking new people out, I gravitate toward women. So I'm just gonna go with that for now.

    Bisexuality can be confusing, if you don't treat it as a process. I'm not saying it's a phase, only that it takes a long time to work out the kinks (so to speak HA sorry i had to).

    But yea. Kinsey scale = guideline, not gospel.
     
  14. Quem

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    Re: "bi" is a flawed and incoherent category and leads to confusion for a lot of peop

    That's what's confusing about "bisexual". I use it like, (almost) Kinsey 3, not for, let's say 1. About the "almost" part, I'm not sure. If someone feels (almost) the same attraction to men and women and want to label himself/herself as bi, then it's fine for me. However, because the term bisexual is also used by those who are not Kinsey 3, it's difficult to see who is Kinsey 3.

    I've even heard: "You know, everyone is bisexual." I simply ignore this. :lol: And if you really think it's true, then I guess it would be much better to say "Everyone has some same-sex and opposite-sex attraction." I wouldn't say both in fact.

    Indeed, the more specific, the more limiting, but is that a bad things? That's what labels are for and that's why they don't fit easily, because they are so specific. However, when you want to use very unspecific labels, it will cause you to be even more confused. "Hey, I am bisexual, but not as bisexual as him!", I really doubt that is what we want..
     
  15. all paths

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    Re: "bi" is a flawed and incoherent category and leads to confusion for a lot of peop


    Still offensive, Chip. :dry:


    Just because "studies" haven't caught up with the polling of people's experience with the separation of romantic & sexual orientation yet, doesn't make it nonexistent.


    Following that logic, guess what else was nonexistent, in the past? (depending on the era you look at):


    Left-handedness
    Introversion (as a validly healthy personality orientation, and not a neurosis or something)
    Homosexuality
    Bisexuality
    Autism
    Asperger's syndrome
    Depression (clinical)
    Phobias
    Obsessive-Compulsive disorder
    Attention Deficit Disorder
    Alcoholism (as a 'disease')
    any other kind of addiction (as a 'disease')


    I call bollocks.


    Invalidating other human beings' self-reported experience is harmful to them. Gosh you'd think the LGBTQ community would get this. :dry: ALL it is, is destructive.
     
  16. mickeytheles

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    Re: "bi" is a flawed and incoherent category and leads to confusion for a lot of peop

    This makes so much sense to me. I think I've always been not straight and in the past couple years I've had to try and figure out am I bi or lesbian? A few months ago I was almost ready to come out as lesbian but then I just kept wondering am I really?
     
  17. Chip

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    Re: "bi" is a flawed and incoherent category and leads to confusion for a lot of peop

    Sorry 'bout that. Not my intent. No apologies otherwise; I stand by everything I've said.

    It makes the labels unrecognized. And the conservatism of the various professional boards has served society quite well in the past 20 or 30 years, as there are lots of "diagnoses du jour" and "maladies of the month" and other such things that were in vogue, and people screamed that the APA and related groups wasn't in step with the pulse of society... and then these in-vogue things were found to be either completely unsupported by research, invalid, really bad science, unhelpful, or some combination.

    I'm not saying that will be the case for the unrecognized labels but if we're going to be of any use to people looking for reliable, factual information, we have to rely on those who have a deeper understanding of this than we do, and trust them. And that's what I'm proposing here.

    In the meantime, the best middle ground I can come up with is to say "Hey, if you want to identify with a a given label, have at it, and more power to you, but since it is isn't recognized, we aren't doing a service by encouraging everyone else to jump on this bandwagon until those who are actually doing the research/study/treatment in this field have signed on.

    To be clear... I'm speaking for myself, as ECCS hasn't yet taken a position on these issues... but I simply am not willing to sign on to something where there's no consensus from the professionals in the community. To do anything else is simply irresponsible.


    I love it when people (continually) use that argument as a justification. The psychology profession has made considerable strides in the past 40 years, the understanding now, the nuance with which such things are evaluated, and the process for evaluation are all drastically different. It's not a relevant comparison.


    I'm not invalidating anyone's self-report. As i"ve said ad nauseum, I honor and respect anyone's individual experience. I'm not, however, willing to, if somebody reports that they are an octopus, start announcing to the EC community that now humans can be octopuses (octopii?) and it's a valid label for anyone who wishes to believe they are an octopus. Yes, it's a ridiculous comparison, but the fundamental point is clear.

    Again, I apologize if you feel it invalidates a label that you or anyone else identifies with. You can identify as whatever feels right to you. Just, in my personal opinion, which really shouldn't matter, it is not a label I feel comfortable advocating or recognizing for people in general, for the reasons previously stated.
     
  18. all paths

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    Re: "bi" is a flawed and incoherent category and leads to confusion for a lot of peop

    I have a lot I'd want to say, but I don't want to jack this thread. So I'll leave this, mostly to validate others who experience their romantic & sexual attractions like I do:

    How's the UNC - Chapel Hill, for you?

    https://lgbtq.unc.edu/asexuality-attraction-and-romantic-orientation
     
  19. Chip

    Board Member Admin Team Advisor Full Member

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    Re: "bi" is a flawed and incoherent category and leads to confusion for a lot of peop

    That's a student support center with one degreed professional on its staff, not an association of professionals. Note they offer no citations or support for their descriptions, and use a whole bunch of terms that are essentially slang and far from mainstream acceptance. Same issue.
     
    #19 Chip, May 7, 2014
    Last edited: May 7, 2014
  20. looking for me

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    Re: "bi" is a flawed and incoherent category and leads to confusion for a lot of peop

    Bi is a flawed orientation.

    for you maybe, you can label yourself as you wish. for me, the realization that i am BI cleared up many flaws in my mind. i find it somewhat dismissive to be told that there is something wrong with my self identification smacks of "Biphobic" retoric. i feel that the upshot of your post is to dismis bi sexual people to make us invisible. WE are NOT.

    that i can and that i am attracted to more than one type of person is not a flaw, it is a strength. i do not, however, look on people who are only attracted to one type of person as flawed, I am and You are that is the only label we need.

    there is a reason the Rainbow was chosen as the symbol for the LGBT community, it shows all of the spectrum of light, not darkness light, both the visible and the invisible.