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Would You Date A Trans Person?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by iiimee, Jul 10, 2016.

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Would You Date A Trans Person?

  1. I'm cis. No, I would NOT date a trans person.

    16 vote(s)
    17.0%
  2. I'm trans. No, I would NOT date another trans person.

    1 vote(s)
    1.1%
  3. I'm cis. I would date certain trans people. (Please specify in comments)

    40 vote(s)
    42.6%
  4. I'm trans. I would date certain trans people. (Please specify in comments)

    37 vote(s)
    39.4%
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  1. iiimee

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    Okay, so I'm curious what people will say... I think to some extent, most people could find a trans person they'd want to date, but everyone has different conditions: What are your conditions guys and gals, if you'd date a trans person at all?

    For me, I don't think I'd have any issues dating another trans man, (obviously) and it wouldn't even matter if they passed that much. Still, I guess there is a small part of me that'd feel weird referring to a man who didn't look like one at all as my "boyfriend", though of course I'd do it. XD I guess that's just the small part of me who appreciates conformity...

    Dating trans women seems a lot more complicated than dating trans man, though I'd be open to it. The only issue is that I wouldn't exactly know how to sympathize with a trans woman's body dysphoria since I'm really only used to dealing with the opposite dysphoria issues, and the trans women I've met all seem A LOT more emotional than the trans guys, and while that's not necessarily a bad thing, it can certainly wear me down, since I often associate too many emotions with a lack of emotional maturity. I mean, if you are crying because I didn't call you yesterday, we have problems. Of course, I don't have many other issues with trans women, except of course there is a small part of me that, being unused to having to refer to other trans people, might find it a little strange to call a trans woman my "girlfriend" if she doesn't pass, but strange doesn't necessarily mean I'm too uncomfortable to do it or don't WANT to do it... It's just that, when you don't have a lot of experience doing or saying something, it's normal to feel taken aback by it and make mistakes... Maybe I know this because of the cis people I've dated. XD Eh, anyway, what about you guys? Remember, this is a question about your personal attraction, so it's not like you should feel shy about sharing it. ^_^

    ---------- Post added 10th Jul 2016 at 04:32 AM ----------

    ^ Some reminders about this thread:
    1. I am referring to DATING in this thread, meaning that your conditions for dating and not just one-night stands should be what you're referring to here. You don't have to list all of your dating conditions, but if any are different for a trans partner than a cis partner you'd have, then you should list them.
    2. In general, just follow EC's rules and don't fight. Simple, right?
     
  2. HappyGirlLucky

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    I would date a post-op trans woman if I was otherwise attracted to her (which most likely means she would have to "pass"), wouldn't make a difference at that point. I don't think pre-op would work unless the surgery was on the horizon, though. :slight_smile:
     
  3. PennyMonkey96

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    Idk I just like who I like I guess xD
     
  4. Secrets5

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    1. If they ask me repetitively "is the reason you don't want sex because I'm trans" over and over, then I'll probably break up with them since this isn't the reason and if they keep asking me it would feel like they're forcing me. [This response to their question also follows for cis people, but obviously they wouldn't give being trans as the reason for asking]

    2. If they thought that me being non-binary was invalidating them, then I would break up with them (because me being NB doesn't invalidate them). [For both cis and trans people, the similar condition for me breaking up with them would be if they didn't think non-binary a/genders exist.]

    Of course all my other rules still apply, but these have nothing to do with biological characteristics of a person.
     
  5. iiimee

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    ^ I see the real potential for me to pass if I just get some testosterone in me, so I don't fear too much about cis people being uninterested in me, at least in the future, but I made this thread just out of curiosity to see what people say. XD I mean, obviously the LGB people are already more open to the idea, but since a large number of trans people do identify as L, G, or B, I figured I'd see how true their worries are. I think that there's nothing most transgender people can do about it, but their fears are somewhat valid simply because most cis people only are interested in trans people that "pass", as far as I've seen. Of course, what "passes" is different in different people's eyes. I mean, I think that somebody with a male face and mostly male body still passes as male even if they don't have the right "parts" between their legs, but for other people bottom surgery is very important. It's nice seeing how different people's preferences are.
     
  6. Brytaleith

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    I wouldn't date trans people or cis people because "dating" imo means pursuing at least a romantic relationship with a person.

    On the other hand, I would totally be up for having a trans QPP. However, I'm not confident in my ability to support a trans partner emotionally but I would be willing to learn.
     
  7. BryanM

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    I'm attracted to and would have no problems dating other guys (including trans guys), nonbinary transmasculine people, and some other nonbinary and genderfluid identified people. :slight_smile: To me, a person is more than what kind of plumbing they have so to speak, and there are definitely ways for cis and trans people to be in romantic, sexual, and platonic relationships with each other with no problems relating to a person's trans identity.
     
  8. SillyGoose

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    I am cis and I would date someone F to M if we were attracted..
    I don't see why someone wouldn't
     
  9. AmyBee

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    I think when people say, "I'd never..." they're setting themselves up for that moment where they end up doing that very thing. I'm not attracted to men, trans or not. I'm totally open to dating a trans woman. If I'm attracted to a person, I just am. Trans or not she's have to hit my "sweet spots" for me to want to go on a date. I don't know, though. Since we're strictly talking dating, I'd probably be open to just about anyone along the gender spectrum as long as they were cool to hang with and showed some interest in getting to know me.
     
  10. Snoww

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    I would date anyone if they have a nice personality c:
     
  11. rencetakingover

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    Yes, most of the trans people I met are so sweet so why the heck not.

    Also, its not with the person's gender, it's their personality and company that I want.
     
  12. purplewolf6

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    If you find out you love somebody I don't think gender should always stand in the way but I'm bisexual so it's not surprising I feel this way lol. Some people can only love one gender or cis people so that's their choice not gonna demonize them as long as they don't demonize trans people.

    Pre-op preferred but post-op I'd definitely date too if we were attracted to each other romantically and physically why not? I'm into trans women can't deny that. Trans men, again it depends on if there's attraction but I wouldn't rule that out.

    :kiss:
     
    #12 purplewolf6, Jul 10, 2016
    Last edited: Jul 10, 2016
  13. Aberrance

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    Yeah I'd date transguys who present in a masculine way.
     
    #13 Aberrance, Jul 10, 2016
    Last edited: Jul 10, 2016
  14. Reggie

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    I'm a cis male. Before I found out my son was trans, I had all sorts of preconceived (and incorrect) assumptions about trans. I would not have dated a trans woman.

    Now that I'm becoming more educated, I might...but only one who physically presents entirely as a female. But, that's irrelevant because my wife would kill me if I started dating now. :slight_smile:
     
  15. Browncoat

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    "I am non-binary/agender and have no qualms with dating a trans person."
     
  16. Libertino

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    I understand why this question appears so often on this site; trans people might naturally be concerned that people don't want to date them for various reasons and they want to know if that's the case among the LGBT community (of which this site represents a small percentage).

    That said, it seems to me sometimes that the only acceptable answer to this question is "yes". Now, obviously not everyone who says "no" is transphobic--some are, certainly--but there probably is still pressure not to say "no".

    I'll say what I always say in answer to this question: some people are attracted to specific genders, and as a part of that attraction, they desire sex with that gender and that gender's genitalia. It's perfectly understandable; it's a natural human desire for most. Some can look past this, and that's great, but some can't, and I would never fault them for it.
     
    #16 Libertino, Jul 10, 2016
    Last edited: Jul 10, 2016
  17. RGEm

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    I would be fine with dating a trans person
     
  18. HappyGirlLucky

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    I would not date a pre-op trans woman for this exact reason, but this does not take into account post-op trans people who do have the correct genitalia. I feel polls like these should separate the two categories as it seems most people assume trans = mismatching gender and genitalia.

    ETA: Also judging by the amount of people who answered no, it does not seem like anyone felt pressured to answer yes, which makes sense since the poll is anonymous. :slight_smile:
     
    #18 HappyGirlLucky, Jul 10, 2016
    Last edited: Jul 10, 2016
  19. n3ko

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    I answered as cis however I am non-binary (agender). I would date anyone with female body.
     
  20. Eveline

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    You are right but I think that it is one of the situations in which social pressures work in a positive way as it opens up peoples minds to the posibility of dating a trans person and takes away some of the inhibitions.

    Idealy people would understand that trans women are just women and trans men just men even if they have physical differences. However the world isn't ideal and it is a positive thing for people to see that many see transgender people for who they are and aren't afraid to give people a chance no matter what body they were born with. (*hug*)

    Ultimately, it can be frightening for a trans person to reveal they are trans because rejection is such a common reaction and sometimes people respond violently or in a hurtful manner. We transition because not doing so means living a life behind a mask and often in pain. However, once we transition we find ourselves alone and unlike most people have to accept that we might never find someone that will love us for who we are and accept us. A while back someone posted about how they want to kill themselves because they caught an std and are afraid that they will never find a partner. It is hard enough to find a partner when you are cisgender and not finding one is not something that most people want to think about. With trans people the possibility of never finding someone is very real and extremely frightening.
     
    #20 Eveline, Jul 10, 2016
    Last edited: Jul 10, 2016
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