What Are You Thinking?

Lady, there aren't words to describe my feelings toward you. I want to be by your side every moment of every day. You're so beautiful in every possible way.

And i'm so overwhelmed by this that I just had to broadcast my feelings on EC. Haha

 

I got myself in bed a little after midnight. My mind was racing, but elected against taking my sleep meds because I think they may have contributed to my weird mental state yesterday. Two hours later I decided to check Tumblr to get my mind off things and wound up browsing the Puella Magi Madoka Magica tag, thinking that I probably wouldn't get sucked in too much because it's 95% fanart and 4% people freaking out about episode 3 (or 10).

Bad idea. Tonight was apparently a night for the remaining 1% -- serious analysis of the show. I found a blog that looked at it (and, come to find out, both versions of FMA) from a critical, social justice perspective, and, well now it's almost 5 am and I'm about to start reading a piece about why Riza Hawkeye's portrayal is problematic.

 

Gonna be in a "let's play" type video on youtube with some friends tomorrow =O super excited

 

I am thinking...

"when am I going to actually meet a guy/group of people/friends I could hand out with that sort of have the same interests as me?" I am also thinking "why can't it just happen now, I am tired of feeling lonely, I need to do something to change it but I don't know what or how to change it"

I think this like once every hour lol, Also I am thinking about "fast food"... I want a burger bad lol.

 

YEY I just booked a surgery consultation.

 

Weird dreams are weird.

 

Contemplating if i should move to Vegas or not.

 

Whoo, that's awesome! Best of luck with that.


Going to play some tennis today, luckily it's cloudy out for now and cool. That means no death from heat exhaustion for me! :eusa_danc

 

Heading back to Texas today Hopefully we can get my laptop fixed :eusa_danc but gotta by a freakin' enclosure first. Gotta be safe...I don't want to lose all the things I could use to make my teaching portfolio from my past education classes.

 

I think I should buy a house. I need something to focus on, and I'm excited to have a house to constantly work on.

 

(Just got back from a month of holidays, after just about snapping at my asshole boss. first shift today)

Fuck. I fucking hate this place. I CAN NOT GO BACK TOMORROW RARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRr/CRY WHY DID I EVEN GO BACK AT ALL!!!!!?

Honestly this place crushed my soul.. and just when I was starting to feel good after the break, one shift back it already feels like its being crushed again.

 

I feel bad for Paula Deen. I mean like I say stupid stuff all the time and I would hate for something I said offhandedly without even thinking to ruin me 30 years after saying it. I feel like she doesn't deserve ALL of this. Like yes what she said was ignorant and stupid, but is it worth ruining her life??? I really don't think so...

 

The problem isn't what she said 30 years ago. It's that she continued to hold the same attitudes toward African Americans (and women, too), to the point that she let it affect her employees up until the present day.

 

@Tetraquark,

Well I am not really up to date on the story. I thought all of this was cuz of something they had on record that she said yeaars ago talking about her son's wedding or something. How did this affect her employees, like did she not hire Blacks or women?

And also to clarify I am usually the LAST person to defend someone who says racist sheeit, I just thought cuz this was so long ago.

 

Tell me... why does talking about something make it better? It doesn't. Either you can solve your problem, or you can't, and if you can't, its easier to pretend it doesn't exist. So stop fucking telling me to talk to you.

 

You don't strike me as the sort of person who would justify racism, so I figured you probably just hadn't heard about it. I think this is the main thing that got people upset. The stuff about race starts on page 14, but there's a few things about sexism before that. Edit: It could be argued, I suppose, that Paula Deen isn't entirely to blame for this, but it's still pretty bad that stuff like this was going on in a part of the company run by her brother.

 

Well... Camp Nano's begun, haven't written a word. Hoping to haul ass and get ahead today, if I get enough done...

Been reading blogs by a couple gay transmen and got me to thinking- there's a lot of shit I overlooked in my past. Like never imagining myself as a woman for sex, point one. And six years old, wanting to be a boy 'like Sora'...

 

Surprised my mother let me use her laptop for filling out job applications. Perhaps she finally realizes (internally) how badly I need a job. xD

 

Woah, Thats some harsh stuff. Racist people. They should be extinct by now.

 

Paula Deen... >:\

Sexuality's confusing the hell out of me. So what am I anymore? Bisexual? Outright gay? ...Queer?