Totally Lost

I heard you guys play and sing in the other thread. You two are incredibly talented :eusa_clap. Lost, your Mad World made me so sad, I don't know why, but I guess that's good, right? Anyway, those recordings really drove it home for me that it is real, flesh-and-bone people on the other side of the screen; sometimes it is easy to forget that. (Taking my hat off to you)

For anyone who missed it:

http://emptyclosets.com/forum/1870550-post65.html

http://emptyclosets.com/forum/1873835-post71.html

 

Well, I look forward to hearing another performance by you, now that we know you dont suffer of digital stage fright. Do you know "chasing cars" by Snow Patrol? I love that song!

I am working today, kind of a blessing in disguise, because i had a crappy saturday, just feeling very lonely after attending a wedding on friday.

Dude! I would die without cable. They can cut the internet and the water first, but please dont cut my cable! My TV is my best friend LOL! I guess i like "international house hunters" if i watch HGTV; but only when they are in Europe

 

I could drop dead. Please don't mess with my emotions like that! :icon_wink

It's all good. I have been to weddings many times, and they had always been just a party, like a birthday or whatnot; but this was truly the first time I felt so self-conscious and out of place; that had not happened before. I've been wearing my heart on my sleeve lately, and it really kicked my butt during the wedding.

Last week i would have told you "you have to go to your cousin's wedding!" but right now, i can kind of see where you're coming from. I'm starting to miss the days when I repressed everything in a little box in the back of my brain.

But on a bright note, I did have to get a tie and handkerchief for my suit, and remembered you had said something about electric blue being a color? so I asked the lady at the store to help me get something like that (it was a winter-themed wedding) and that's what I got! LOL.

 

I'm sorry. I just don't see the dilemma. Heterosexuals only bring up their family as leverage in society. So how in the sam-hell does you coming out solve the turmoil u r going thru. It is self-induced stress.

 

Thanks Aquaman, although I must defer to Lost's stellar rendition of Mad World.

Sorry to hear about the wedding blues. I had a cluster of weddings a couple of summers ago, and got increasingly self-conscious about the single thing with each one. At least at 27 and being in grad school, there were enough other extended adolescents there to hang out with.

Does the wedding you have to go to this summer at least have a dance? Then at least you can get all gussied up, take advantage of free wine, and dance to cheesy top 40 music until you're gross and sweaty. That was always my solace! Plus it turns out I really like buying and wrapping wedding gifts because I'm apparently a cliché.

 

No worries! I typically haven't done the forum things before and I'm surprised at how quickly one gets emotionally invested in total strangers. Something something The Internet and whatnot.

Yep, it's a huuuuuuge relief. I really wish I hadn't made such a big deal of it in my head in retrospect, but I guess that happens. Now as long as I don't turn out the way my mom specifically requested I don't (which was some bizarre blend of oddly specific stereotypes working out to something along the lines of a heavily tattooed bear leather daddy) I'm totally set.

---------- Post added 10th Feb 2014 at 07:16 PM ----------

Oh, also - and I'm too lazy to go find the other thread to reply directly - I'm totally down for a jam session. Next time I'm down east I'll start wandering around and knocking on doors

And, incidentally, I hope things are going reasonably well with your folks. I don't imagine dealing with coming out on top of other family stuff would be the most ideal.

 

Whoa! Easy there, cowboy! There is nothing wrong with Top 40 music! LOL!

I don't know about dashing, but I had told you I was going to take your fashion sense seriously, and I did. It's called "a leap of faith," because for all I know, you dress like a crazy person (but you don't... right?)

This is disgustingly true, and yet, here we are, right? Never fails.

This is so messed up :roflmao: you are not right LOL! On a serious note, good to know things worked out with your parents.

 

I am sorry to hear of such family difficulties. Hopefully the situation will improve in the near future. Do your brothers and sister in laws know that your other brothers and sister in laws know about your sexuality? If not it may be 'do the know that we know' situation.

 

Aquaman - I didn't meant to disparage top 40, I just never listen to it anymore so it's a novelty! The only time I used to listen to the radio was when I was driving, and I don't own a car and no longer have to drive a work car, so essentially I have to actively seek out popular songs so I don't seem like I completely live under a rock. The only big song at the Grammy's I heard this year was Get Lucky, and that was only because it was in an episode of New Girl. Maybe now that I'm out I will try to get over my distaste for dance clubs and actually get out occasionally.

Lost - that really sucks. My grandfather's family on my mom's side apparently had a lot of alcoholism issues. They've fortunately mostly managed to peter out in recent generations, so I haven't dealt with it directly (although I have to admit my own drinking was starting to get a little bit out of hand for a while this winter while I was processing things), but I know it can be brutal. And even when you aren't directly involved, I know from experience that parent-sibling issues can take their toll. I'm just sorry you have to deal with the coming out at the same time. I guess the silver lining is your siblings and their spouses sound super supportive so far. Hang in there! I'm not much of a touchy-feely guy, but I'll send a virtual hug. (*hug*)

I have my fingers crossed for a big snow storm for you. Maybe I'll pray to the flying spaghetti monster or something.

 

Zen is good! And yeah, that's totally progress. I'm think that once I've told my sister I'll more or less be at that point, I think. (Supposed to have dinner with her tomorrow, but I might have to postpone due to this horrible cold I caught from people at work. Stupid coworkers and their filthy germs.)

As for a type... yeah, I'm not into the over-the-top feminine guys, which makes me feel just the tiniest bit judgemental. But I guess I don't have that much control over that. I must admit that my eye tends to wander to bearded hipster types, although that's not exclusive. I think I just really like any facial hair in general (minus goatees and soul patches, although I wouldn't necessarily call either a dealbreaker). But yeah, same, I think I'm pretty open. Maybe that will narrow down once I try to start being, uh, actively gay? That's apparently what I am calling the period when I start trying to meet people.

 

More experience? Sure, why not.

I'm attracted to the nerdy type of guy. Not necessarily the Dungeons & Dragons / Videogame-playing kind of nerd, but more to the very smart, diploma-carrying, bookworm type. Other than that very specific kind of guy, I'd probably say that a completely average "Is he or isn't he?" man is cool as well. I guess almost-hipster-but-not-quite-there is nice too.

By the way... bearded geek, workaholic here, ha-ha!

 

Ah yes. Ditto to all of that. Intelligence is hot. And I guess while I'm thinking about less superficial things now, I would like someone who is a bit of a film buff too. I started watching way more movies now that I'm out of school and have time and money to do so (and live two blocks from one of those now-rare rental places). And someone quick-witted. That way if the passion ever died we could fall back on our cheesy vaudevillian comedy act.

And I will also clarify that the "almost-hipster" type was more what I was referring to; like, the well-dressed type, not the type that would be a tough guess when playing "hipster or hobo." Apparently I'm ashamed of my hipsterphilia enough to be concerned about this :icon_wink

 

Okay, it took me a minute to understand what you were talking about when you said "rental places" LOL I was like "what is he talking about?" Ha-ha! I guess they are THAT rare indeed

Are these examples of quick wittedness? Ha! I suppose I could learn to live with that.