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Small Victories

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by Kasey, Dec 11, 2014.

  1. QuietPeace

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    Before you even take your first step you need to make that decision and that decision initiates your momentum (this can also be expressed with Newton's first law where your intention is the first addition of energy thus overcoming the inertia of remaining at rest)

    in short, yes it is a victory :smiley:
     
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  2. Daddio

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    Have you had a chance to wear the items that you purchased? If so, did you wear them at home or in public?
     
  3. Phoenix92

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    I’ve gotten a consult for BA scheduled, and I have already decided about where I’m going to go size wise.
     
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  4. chicodeoro

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    I've worn them all but only out in public once so far. That will happen more though. I'm planning to come out to my neighbours in the next few months so they won't be alarmed by the sight of me walking out of the house in a skirt.
     
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  5. Daddio

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    What does your support group look like? How many of your friends know? Does any of your family know? Are you married?
     
  6. chicodeoro

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    Hi Daddio, my support group are really my wonderful (mostly female) friends that I've come out to and who accept me as Beth. They are amazing and I wouldn't have made it through the last six months without them.

    I'd say I'm out to about 18 people now. The plan is to come out to the rest of my friendship/acquaintance circle next year. Nobody from my family knows, although I've only got my brother and sundry cousins scattered around the world. Both my parents have died.

    I'm sure my bro will be ok about me - he's gay himself and kind of went through all this with me 15 years ago! I'm still nervous about it just because he's the person I've known for longest in this world (almost 50 years) and announcing that I'm a different gender will be a bigger deal with him than it has been with more recent acquaintances.

    I'm not married although I was in a long term relationship with my beautiful partner until she died suddenly in February. Her passing was really the catalyst for all this. The shock was seismic and prompted me to re-evaluate everything. It was then that I realised I had been burying some very deep feelings and I had been running away from the truth - that I'm a transgender woman.

    It's hard to put into words just how much my world has been turned upside down this year.
     
    #5046 chicodeoro, Dec 12, 2020
    Last edited: Dec 12, 2020
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  7. Daddio

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    Thank you for being so vulnerable and sharing this. I am in a very confused place right now and it helps me soooo much to hear how others are going through similar situations.
    My wife and one of her friends are the only ones that know about me.
     
  8. Phoenix92

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    I got my new ID in today with my updated gender marker!
     
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  9. Bernice

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    Ok so after thinking about it for the last year I've finally taken steps to legally change my name.
    As I haven't posted for a little while I'll do a little update on how I've got this far as there are a lot of little victories along the way. Back at the tail end of 2019 I started doing burlesque lessons (also pole fitness) As the only guy there it was so amazing to be so accepted by the others in classes. I did the burlesque working towards doing what I termed as Drag Burlesque as a way to allow my female side out. My Burlesque name is ######### and I have done a number of routines in class and usually on the final lesson do so in girl mode. This has allowed me change to be out in public in girl mode. While I am always nervous when I go out to lessons (I wear a long coat with hood up) afterwards I'm on such a high I'm able to walk across town fully out. I was working toward performing on stage last year but unfortunately the show was cancelled due to Corvid.

    However over the last year on my Facebook page created for ########## I have been doing photo cosplays as well as female photos in general and although I have only a small fanbase of friends feedback has been overwhelming supportive. I've also had the courage to post the odd photo on my main Facebook page Firstly as a bet to raise money for a charity (but also a sneaky way to start coming out more publicly) and since then occasionally just to keep pushing it that little bit more.

    So back to the name change. I went through my closest friends first to gauge reactions. All was positive. So I started proceedings to change my first name from Adrian (Ade) to Jade. I'll be keeping my middle name Bernice which I had added a couple of years ago. I've informed work and a meeting took place on my day off to inform the rest of the workforce, so far this has all been positive. Also all my work details, e-mail and logins have been changed and I can't describe that feeling of excitement (happiness) on seeing it for real.

    All I need to do now is find away to tell my parents (and brother) and then I'm ready to come out on Facebook for the name change and the fact I'm genderfluid.
     
    #5049 Bernice, Jan 30, 2021
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 30, 2021
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