1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Small Victories

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by Kasey, Dec 11, 2014.

  1. Hawk

    Moderator Full Member

    Joined:
    May 12, 2015
    Messages:
    11,826
    Likes Received:
    802
    Location:
    Alberta
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight
    Out Status:
    All but family
    I’d be very careful with that. I’ve heard many trans women will wear wigs and makeup before going out. I’d also test to see how well you pass in other situations before using gendered spaces. If you can pass as female the majority of the time, that’s when you might want to consider using women’s spaces without fear of being attacked or outed.
     
  2. LaurenSkye

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Feb 25, 2012
    Messages:
    1,122
    Likes Received:
    137
    Location:
    Cincinnati, OH
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    All but family
    I am still nervous when using women's restrooms. It helps that few people are out and about thanks to the virus and I try to use mostly ones at smaller places that are less likely to have many, if any people in them. I am starting to get comfortable shopping for bras, and very comfortable in the general women's clothing department. In fact I feel more comfortable in the women's clothing department than the men's.
     
  3. solarcat

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jun 29, 2011
    Messages:
    163
    Likes Received:
    27
    Location:
    Arizona
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    They
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Family only
    Honestly, I'm still uncomfortable looking at women's underwear, 'cause I don't really know what I'm doing and I'm afraid others might pick up on that.. I'm uncomfortable talking to family about my underwear (who isn't?), so I can't go to them. So I just buy from a specific online site; I like the styles, and I know what size I am.

    The last few times I've used the women's restroom though (including today at Walmart) other women have seen me and not said anything, so that's something, though I thank my face mask for that.
     
    LaurenSkye likes this.
  4. chicodeoro

    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 7, 2020
    Messages:
    85
    Likes Received:
    42
    Location:
    London
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Some people
    I presented as female for the first time! Just to a friend when she came to my house for lunch, but it's another small step.

    I dressed very casually - just skirt, leggings and a girl's T shirt, but my friend said I looked 'great'. I'll take that.

    Beth
     
    Mihael, solarcat and KittyKat97 like this.
  5. solarcat

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jun 29, 2011
    Messages:
    163
    Likes Received:
    27
    Location:
    Arizona
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    They
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Family only
    The first steps usually are taken at home, I think, but it still counts!
     
  6. LaurenSkye

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Feb 25, 2012
    Messages:
    1,122
    Likes Received:
    137
    Location:
    Cincinnati, OH
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    All but family
    I started wearing women's panties several years ago (it was one of the first true articles of women's clothing I ever wore). I was uncomfortable shopping in the section when there were other people there. Same goes when I first started shopping for bras a few weeks ago, I was uncomfortable shopping when other people, especially employees were in the section.
     
  7. solarcat

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jun 29, 2011
    Messages:
    163
    Likes Received:
    27
    Location:
    Arizona
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    They
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Family only
    Oof, I know what you mean. I kind of treat them like bees; I know they need to be there, but I kind of try to put them out of mind and focus on what I'm doing in the hope that they'll leave me alone. Which they do, apart from the usual "Do you need any help?"

    But every trip to the women's section is a step forward. :slight_smile:
     
    Mihael likes this.
  8. chicodeoro

    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 7, 2020
    Messages:
    85
    Likes Received:
    42
    Location:
    London
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Me and my friend have agreed a date for a girls' shopping trip where she's going to help me find a new wardrobe! I can't wait!

    Beth
     
    Mihael likes this.
  9. chicodeoro

    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 7, 2020
    Messages:
    85
    Likes Received:
    42
    Location:
    London
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Shopping trip completed! I've come back with seven tops/ T shirts, two skirts, two dresses, a pair of trousers, leggings, a pack of tights and two packs of knickers. Couldn't summon up the courage to buy a bra though - maybe next time..

    None of the assistants seemed to bat an eyelid, or if they did I didn't notice!

    Beth
     
    LaurenSkye likes this.
  10. Hawk

    Moderator Full Member

    Joined:
    May 12, 2015
    Messages:
    11,826
    Likes Received:
    802
    Location:
    Alberta
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight
    Out Status:
    All but family
    First time someone in this town has actually stated, “...or however you identify” after being introduced. Not in a derogatory or offensive way, but more so they weren’t sure if I identified as cis or trans. And the old guys I work with never said anything after either!

    To be fair most people who don’t know me will gender me as male.
     
    PatrickUK and gravechild like this.
  11. Daydreamer1

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 17, 2011
    Messages:
    5,680
    Likes Received:
    20
    Location:
    Pennsylvania
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    A lot has happened since I last logged on. I've been on T for almost 5 years and 7 months, and I'm anxiously awaiting a phone call from my surgeon's team to see if my two letters got accepted. If everything works out, it's just the annoying and stressful part of working out the transportation with my family since I can't drive. But, hey, baby steps.
     
    PatrickUK, gravechild and LaurenSkye like this.
  12. Daydreamer1

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 17, 2011
    Messages:
    5,680
    Likes Received:
    20
    Location:
    Pennsylvania
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    My surgeon's team called me back to book the consultation. I'm nervous because we're just waiting to see if my insurance will cover me since he's out of the network, even though I think his site says he takes my insurance and said insurance has been awesome about trans coverage matters. It's going to suck if I have to pay out of pocket for the entire thing, but I'm hoping it all works out. I think I might call them just to see if my coverage will be fine so I don't have to wait almost three weeks when they send over the codes for the procedure. I got my foot in the door, which is all that matters.
     
    LaurenSkye likes this.
  13. DarkWhite

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Mar 27, 2017
    Messages:
    451
    Likes Received:
    53
    Location:
    Czech Republic
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I've finally had my name changed to a neutral form. Now all I need to do is submit a request to a commission, assure them that I really want the operation and KABOOM my gender change will be finally complete ^^
     
    #5033 DarkWhite, Sep 9, 2020
    Last edited: Sep 9, 2020
    LaurenSkye and chicodeoro like this.
  14. Silver101

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 24, 2020
    Messages:
    15
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    Chicago, IL, USA
    Gender:
    Genderqueer
    Gender Pronoun:
    They
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Just threw out a ton of my girly stuff and bought a bunch of androgynous clothes. It's not much, but I can't really do much else since I'm not out. It's enough for now, though.
     
    LaurenSkye likes this.
  15. chicodeoro

    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 7, 2020
    Messages:
    85
    Likes Received:
    42
    Location:
    London
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Another shopping trip - I bought my first bra today.

    Plus I went to the make up counter of one store. I explained that I was trans and was looking for a foundation that would work with my skin. The assistant was so helpful - she asked me my name, gave me loads of advice and even threw in a couple of free primers for me.

    The rest of my life is sooo stressful at the minute but for a while I felt great!

    Beth