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Small Victories

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by Kasey, Dec 11, 2014.

  1. LaurenSkye

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    Your New Year's Resolution is much the same as mine. It's time to put myself out in this world (and not just with gender expression).

    And on a side note, CONGRATULATIONS to all of us for 5000 posts in the Small Victories thread!! That's a lot of victories for us!
     
  2. Chef

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    went to my doctor the other day, in a skirt and heels, a guy at the office, looked at me and said cute legs. couldnt believe it and started to blush
     
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  3. HoodieClub

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    I came out as possibly non-binary to two of my closest friends, and I'm making progress on just letting myself be, and not constantly wondering if I'm a girl or something else.
     
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  4. LaurenSkye

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    Letting yourself be you is the best thing you can do for yourself.
     
  5. DarkWhite

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    Finally, FINALLY after 2 years of trying my family started using correct pronouns and the name I've chosen. Big step forward!
     
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  6. LaurenSkye

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    While on the bus recently, a lady who I had seen on the bus before, but never talked to turned around in her seat and said "hi" to me, and then asked me if I was trans. I mentioned that I was genderqueer/non-binary, and she responded with "cool". Her reaction was not a big surprise to me as she always seemed like the type who would be supportive of gay and trans people, but what I was most struck by was the simple fact that she asked me if I was trans. For those who don't know, I wear skirts, paint my nails, and carry a purse, but everything else on me looks masculine and people for the most part just assume I'm a gay guy who wears women's clothes. That's just a small part of who/what I am. I know I'm not a full trans person in traditional sense but somehow I'd rather people see me as possibly being one rather than just being a gay guy.
     
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  7. Lacybi

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    Not necessarily a trans related victory but it was definitely affected by me being trans (and ace too) - I used a tampon for the first time.
    I’m nineteen and I’ve never really paid much attention to down there. I mean I know what’s there - we all did the reproductive system at school - but my interactions have generally just been a quick wipe or wash. I’ve worn pads since I started menstruating when I was eleven but this weekend I’m going to an event which involves swimming and pads don’t work with water so I was forced to try a tampon.
    I count it as a victory because it was a big deal. I did a lot of crying. I was quite uncomfortable with it but it wasn’t as bad as I expected. I’ve done it now and I can do it if I really need to again.
     
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  8. LaurenSkye

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    I have one small victory and one that started small and continues to grow and grow.

    Just today, I decided to walk a few blocks to a bus bench to sit and read, since it was a perfect day to be outside. I took a somewhat longer route back to my apartment going through some neighborhoods instead of right down the main road. I went out looking somewhat feminine as I often do and in a traditionally conservative community, two people waved "hi" to me from their porches. Plus, a police officer also waved "hi" to me as she drove by.

    The other victory was that back in December I joined a monthly support group from non-binary people mainly to meet people. I met some wonderful people who were immediately super friendly to me. This is a small group with no more than a dozen members not all come to every meeting. In February two brand new people joined to group. I quickly clicked with both of the new people and ended up walking them the two blocks from the coffee shop where the group goes after the meetings, back to their cars. The group has not met in-person since then (due to the virus). I became friends on Facebook with one of the two new people as well as the group leader, and I feel like we have become really good friends and they have very much helped me get through all of the quarantine that's been going on. I've always had a difficult time socializing, especially with new people.
     
  9. ChescaC

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    Not sure if I’ve posted it here, but my bloodwork for my two years on hormones back tat the beginning of March came back, my T is all but gone!
     
  10. LaurenSkye

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    I recently started telling a few close friends of mine to call me Lauren instead of Mike. Now all of these particular friends of mine are trans so I knew they would support me 1000%, but it's still so good see them use my new name (we only communicate on Facebook for now). The first person I told is also someone I follow on Instagram using the name Lauren, and after I told them to call me Lauren, they said they had thought about asking me if I wanted to be called Lauren.
     
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  11. solarcat

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    Got called "ma'am" twice- once with my mask on, once without it.

    This isn't "small", but it is a victory: I came out to my dad, and he was surprisingly supportive.
     
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  12. ChescaC

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    A couple days ago I bought myself a new Nighty, as the dress(from Forever 21, bought while I was still a boy) I had been using finally became too distressed.
     
    #5012 ChescaC, Jun 10, 2020
    Last edited: Jun 10, 2020
  13. chicodeoro

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    Feels a bit more significant than 'small' to me, but I have now been officially referred to my local Gender Identity Clinic (the body that you have to go through to medically transition in Britain's NHS).

    There is a long waiting list and I've yet to start therapy or even coming out to friends, but the knowledge I'm now on the list and one day I will be given the hormones I need has lifted my spirits. It feels like my journey has started!

    Beth
     
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  14. LaurenSkye

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    Today, I got to use the name Lauren in public for the first time, and I'm liking it.
     
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  15. LaurenSkye

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    A couple new things for me. One is that I recently decided to start occasionally wearing women's night shirts/sleep shirts in public as regular shirts. The reason being that most standard women's shirts don't fit me because of my exceptional height. Though it is somewhat difficult to find sleep shirts with patterns befitting of day wear.

    Another step forward for me is that I bought a full dress for the first time. The process of shopping for one has been difficult because it's hard to find ones long enough to wear without anything else on, plus so many I see in stores are low cut and/or spaghetti straps. I just can't make those work for me.
     
  16. LaurenSkye

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    Me again. I am posting here once again because I had one amazing day Saturday.

    I wore my new dress out in public for the first time. I had to wear shorts underneath it, which at first I was a bit self-conscious about that, then I realized that I have seen cis women wear shorts underneath dresses like this. And they are shorts that I normally just wear around the house and not bulky cargo shorts that I may wear out in public alone.

    Secondly, while wearing the dress I went out to dinner. And though it wasn't my waitress but another waitress there called me "ma'am". It was the first time ever anyone has called me that. Now, it's not that I was passing as a woman, I wasn't, she just recognized that I was trans and that I appeared as though I was trying to present as a woman, so she called me "ma'am". I think a lot of people see me and think that I am a male cross-dresser. No offense to male cross-dressers, but that's not who I am and don't like to be seen as such.

    A short while later I went to Target to occupy time until my bus came. I began looking in the women's clothing section. I wasn't seriously looking for anything, just wanted to see if maybe they had something good. For probably the first time ever, I felt totally comfortable shopping in the women's department. The first few times (a couple of years ago), I was rather uncomfortable and spent only a minute in the department. As time went by I started spending more time each trip in the women's department but still felt a bit nervous. This time, I was totally comfortable and felt like I belonged in the women's department.

    After a few minutes in Target, I realized I had to use the restroom, and I thought to myself "should I use the women's restroom instead of the men's?" I had never used a women's public restroom before except in places that had single person restrooms that were still gender specific and I would only use those if the men's was occupied and the women's was available. My theory always was those were single person restrooms why did it matter if they were men's or women's? This time it wasn't that I really WANTED to use the women's restroom, but rather I actively started to question which one I should use. I was wearing a dress, carrying a purse, I started to think that maybe I wasn't supposed to use the men's restroom and that I would be more comfortable in the women's. So I used the women's restroom at Target (it helped knowing that Target is a trans-friendly company). There were a couple other women in there including one who was standing outside of the stall while her daughter was using it. I didn't make eye contact with them, was a bit nervous and went into the stall and did my business. By time I left there was no one out in the open part of the restroom, I washed my hands and left, no problem. I am more and more starting to question which one I should use. It's no so much preference, but which one do I belong in. (I have been frequently known to use the single person gender-neutral restrooms at places that have them, not just because of the gender issue, but also because those restrooms are not used as much, there's more privacy, and they tend to be cleaner.
     
    #5016 LaurenSkye, Jun 29, 2020
    Last edited: Jun 29, 2020
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  17. chicodeoro

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    Thanks for sharing about your ongoing journey, Lauren. It's really inspiring!
     
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  18. Mihael

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    Awkward moments, aren’t they? When you don’t pass completely either way.
     
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  19. LaurenSkye

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    I've got yet another victory to share. I just last week bought a bra for the first time. I've wanted to for so long, but was worried about how it would look and how others would react. I would see pictures of women wearing bras, and even though I am attracted to female bodies, I was still looking more at the bras and wanting to wear one. My recent decision to start wearing dresses really emphasized that desire. The bra I bought is a size 42C. I wore it out to dinner on Saturday as sort of a trial run and it went great. I stuffed it with two old pairs of panties to give it a fuller look. Today I wore it out all day with a dress. I was at Wendy's in line to order when someone said to me "you go ahead sir, I mean ma'am." It was great to have her correct herself and call me ma'am.

    I generally like the way I look with the stuffed bra. I and I love the way it feels. If you want a comparison on why I like wearing it, I think it compares to a trans man wearing a binder.

    Indeed it is. Although now that I'm wearing my stuffed bra, I am going to use the women's restroom every time I'm out. My biggest concern is when I'm getting up or down from the toilet, I'm so tall that my head sticks out above the walls of the stall and so women in there may see my head, which clearly looks masculine, and not see my body with the dress and faux breasts.
     
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  20. Bri2020

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    I just went on my first shopping binge online last week and bought two dresses. I'm 6' and found this:
    https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07RS2RQCD/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o02_s04?ie=UTF8&psc=1
    I don't think I "needed" the plus size but the way it falls doesn't make it look "plus" I wear a 42DD bra so I filled the dress nicely. add some "gladiator sandals in size 12 and I was all set. it falls to my ankles. I went to a giant thrift store now that I knew what size to look for and it was fun shopping with all the other women. I'm a big fan of "learning on Amazon"