1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Reasons/Excuses why NOT to come out of that closet!

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Deaf Not Blind, Apr 20, 2012.

  1. Lea Bea

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 6, 2017
    Messages:
    30
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    USA
    Well mainly because I don't know what I am and I'm scared to tell anyone so...
     
  2. Kodo

    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 27, 2015
    Messages:
    1,826
    Likes Received:
    848
    Location:
    California
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Because I might not be invited back home for Christmas, once I go to college and come out as trans.
     
  3. Nightdream

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jun 15, 2014
    Messages:
    397
    Likes Received:
    10
    Location:
    Brazil
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    I'm afraid of people forcing me to date men. I came out to a few people and many of them wanted me to be more straight than lesbian for some reason... I'm even considering only coming out as lesbian, but that would be telling another lie.
     
  4. LonerGirl

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Mar 27, 2017
    Messages:
    60
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Australia
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people

    This ^^^

    I don't want to become "the bisexual" friend or have female friends become uncomfortable around me. I will always be the same person, just sharing another part of myself. I'm still bisexual whether I come out or not.

    Honestly when I started questioning I didn't think I would come out at all. Only if I met a girl & the relationship became more serious to the point of having to tell people. I'm still scared of the reaction; but my attitude towards coming out is changing as I become more comfortable within myself. I'm already feeling happier from seemingly unlocking this other part of myself that had been hidden away for so long.

    Reading through these has kind of given me inspiration to want to come out. Some people have real safety concerns. I only have a very small circle of family & friends around me. The possibility of their judgement or rejection would hurt, but I would get through it. The only thing holding me back is myself.
     
  5. CJliving

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Nov 10, 2014
    Messages:
    1,036
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Toronto, Canada
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    All but family
    It's only my dad I don't want to come out to, so there are a lot of family I'm not coming out to as well. My reason for not wanting to come out to my dad is that it would change our relationship and I don't want that. I don't want to put that tension between us. I lost my mom at 16, I can't lose my dad.
     
  6. WeDreamOfPeace

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Mar 27, 2017
    Messages:
    371
    Likes Received:
    8
    Location:
    Essex, UK
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Losing the respect of my only remaining family member.
     
  7. skittlz

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Feb 13, 2017
    Messages:
    319
    Likes Received:
    37
    Location:
    MN
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    1. Once you come out, it never ends
    2. Stereotypes happen and it's awkward...I'm me you know
    3. People don't believe you or ignore you...what was the point?
    4. Some people are just not worth coming out to

    ---------- Post added 7th May 2017 at 04:47 PM ----------

    I was actually considering that as well, especially since pretty much all of my friends that aren't straight are gay. (except for 1 friend) Also, my mom seems to acknowledge and accept homosexuality more than bisexuality, so I wondered if that would be easier. But well, true, that would just be another lie.
     
    #87 skittlz, May 7, 2017
    Last edited by a moderator: May 7, 2017
  8. Hela

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jan 3, 2015
    Messages:
    51
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Lincoln
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    I'm definitely scared of how my parents, and the rest of my family will react. They know I'm not straight, but they don't ever mention it or acknowledge it. I'm scared that'll happen if I come out as trans.
     
  9. Weregild

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jan 26, 2015
    Messages:
    527
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Brazil
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    I feel like I want to come out of the closet so that I can assert a significant part of my personality to the people I know and the rest of society, but I am afraid of doing so in the conservative environments I study and work in. Also, my country's not at all receptive of LGBT people, and there are many political movements calling for the ban of gay marriage, adoption by gay couples, etc. Coming out as a lesbian or bisexual would also make me vulnerable to people who would eventually want to bring me down one day in my future carreer.

    I want to come out and live my life with a (preferably female) partner of my choosing, but I know that wouldn't be easy even in the best case scenario, and in the worst scenario it could mean that I would not be able to protect myself, my significant other and the family we eventually built together. I feel that I'm powerless to fight reality on this matter and I constantly need reassurances that I should at least try to do that, but I don't think it would be prudent. It's no longer a question of personal identity for me; when you come out in a homophobic and aggressive society you'll be putting your survival and that of your loved ones at risk.

    So I need people to think of me as a common straight girl, even though I know that's impossible due to the way I dress and behave.
     
    #89 Weregild, May 7, 2017
    Last edited: May 7, 2017
  10. Because my family's crazy. My school's crazy. My church is crazy.
     
  11. martialmaster

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Feb 16, 2017
    Messages:
    14
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    London
    - It's going to shock a lot of people
    - It's not the orientation I wanted to have (seriously, I feel "raped by the universe")
    - It's bad for my career
    - It'll affect my hobbies
     
  12. Tre

    Tre
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 27, 2016
    Messages:
    271
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    Canada
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    - Because I might be bi. I don't want to be that lesbian who ends up marrying a man.
    - To add onto that, since I look soft and girly people often doubt my sexuality. I don't need that to add to my anxiety about my sexuality. If I'm not careful, I'll probably get bad HOCD again.
    - Because in a lot of places there just isn't any girls to date. I'm also very awkward, so I doubt any girls will be into me. Unless they're into girls who seem weak or naive because of awkwardness. I don't want anything to do with those people.
     
  13. KnucklesNation

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Nov 14, 2015
    Messages:
    301
    Likes Received:
    11
    Location:
    North Carolina
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    A few people
    It's nobody's business but my own. Heterosexuals never have to make a spectacle or a big announcement regarding their sexuality, so I see no reason in why I should.
     
    #93 KnucklesNation, May 8, 2017
    Last edited: May 8, 2017
  14. LunaMare

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Mar 27, 2017
    Messages:
    206
    Likes Received:
    69
    Location:
    Europe
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Because even though I start to feel confident about it, I'm scared if I tell someone, there will be no way back if I suddenly realize I got it completely wrong. Which annoys me a lot because I want to start living my life the way I feel is right
     
  15. RedTrekkie95

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 8, 2017
    Messages:
    298
    Likes Received:
    21
    Location:
    Gwynedd, UK
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    All but family
    I don't see that there's anything wrong with being gay, therefore I don't believe that I should come out. I mean how often do you come across someone who comes out as straight?

    Also, as many already mentioned, many people wouldn't understand and I simply don't want to be judged. Especially since I still live at home with my family. I suppose I am putting it off until I am independent and have no risk of retaliation from family.
     
  16. IntheBreeze

    IntheBreeze Guest

    I wasn't afraid of telling my friends about my sexuality because I knew they would all be accepting - we have many non-straight people in our friend group. But now I'm still terrified to tell them about my gender, since I doubt they'd take it seriously and probably think less of me for it. I don't want to ruin the a friendship I've had for a few years now.