My Transition - photos of progress

You're features are definitely looking more feminine! I bet that you get tons of "you have lovely eyes, miss"s. You're looking amazingly lovely!

 

You're beautiful. That's all I got.

Aldrick had it dead on that you just look more confident and happy in your pictures. Thanks for letting us into your life

 

Wow, you can definitely see the progress that you have made so far!! I can see you confidence grow as you become more comfortable with yourself. Congrats on your progress so far!!

 

You look beautiful!

 

You're looking amazing! I'm happy that things are going well for you.

 

I noticed your new profile pic a few days ago, and I concur with everyone else - you look amazing!

 

I know I already commented, but I wanted to jump back in and say this...

It's not about "turning out" gorgeous later, because you're gorgeous right now. I hate to be cliché (trust me - I hate it), but beauty really does come from the inside out. A little secret is that sixty percent or more of attractiveness comes from confidence. Seriously, it's true.

I'm not the only one who noticed the changes in you - in just the way you hold yourself. And the changes aren't just how you look more feminine. I mean, we can almost see how you radiate and shine, and that comes from the inside.

I can't pretend to know what it is like to be transgender or transition, because I don't know - it's not an experience that I've had. But I can say that I know what it feels like to not love yourself, especially the way that you look.

A few weeks ago, I made myself a promise. Every morning when I got up to get ready for the day, I'd stand in front of the mirror doing my usual thing - I could literally pick out every single flaw. Things that most people wouldn't even notice, but to me they were magnified a hundred fold. Every good feature that I had was diminished by that one tiny little flaw.

Just to give one example (out of a hundred or more), every time I look in the mirror my eyes are immediately drawn to the bridge of my nose. Growing up I had some freckles going across the bridge of my nose and over to my cheekbones. If you get really close (I mean REALLY - almost magnifying glass close), you can still see them. Most of them have faded. All except one. It's right there on the bridge of my nose, right in the middle of my damn face. I literally would stand in front of the mirror and contemplate on ways to get rid of it. From bleaches and acids to skin creams - it all crossed my mind. I even contemplated using makeup to cover it up, but I didn't have the guts.

And I know you're probably sitting there reading this and rolling your eyes. You're probably thinking, "What the fuck, it's a freckle, get over it - I've got much bigger problems than a damn freckle." :lol: The thing is it's not just about a freckle, it was about everything - from my teeth, to my musculature, to how I hated that my voice wasn't deeper, to my weight, to hair, you name it - I've picked it a part a hundred times. I know every flaw that I have inside out and then some.

So, like I said - a few weeks ago, I made myself a promise. I wasn't going to do that anymore. If I noticed something negative I had to notice something positive, and every time I caught my mind drifting off to the negative I'd refocus it back to the positive. So now when I look in the mirror, the one of the first things I focus on are my lips. I love my lips. They aren't thin and they aren't overly plump. They're Goldilocks Lips - just right for my face.

After I notice my lips, I compliment myself on them. I tell myself how kissable they are. I tell myself how fantastically lush they are. I compliment myself on their color. I tell myself how great they are when they're sucking :***:. *Ahem.* :lol: You get the picture. :icon_wink

Of course, it doesn't stop with my lips. Normally, when I start out like that, I begin kinda laughing or grinning - I end up over flattering myself to the point of amusement. Then I focus on how great it looks when I smile. How my eyes light up when I laugh. And how I like the shade of blue my eyes are, and how if you get close enough, you can see the sunburst of hazel around the pupil. And so on and so on.

I know this may sound completely bizarre and strange, and certainly in the beginning it was only half-hearted and awkward. I wasn't used to complimenting myself. However, after a few days of doing it - I noticed a difference. I started to feel different. I noticed that I wasn't beating myself up as much, and when I walked away from the mirror - I actually felt pretty good.

Like I said, I'm only a few weeks into this, but this has started to transfer over into other aspects of my life as well. I'm noticing much more when I start to beat myself up, I catch myself, and immediately refute the negative thought. Also, when I do something good and positive - especially for myself - even if it is just a small thing I take a moment to give myself a compliment and a pat on the back.

Just a little while ago, before I started this post, I realized that I was feeling different. I wasn't sure exactly how to describe the feeling, but I noticed it the day before as well. Then I realized I think I've been feeling it for the last several days. It's almost like a happy feeling, but not quite - more of some type of contentment.

I tried to think about it, but I can't really remember the last time I've felt this way. So, while I'm not completely sure, I think it might be the beginning of self-esteem and confidence. That prospect is kinda exciting, I spent years letting other people tear me down, and then more years tearing myself down. Finally, I'm starting to feel and do things differently, and it's exciting.

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to go this far off track. What I'm trying to say is when you look in the mirror look to the positive changes that are already appearing. Don't focus on what hasn't changed yet focus on what has changed. Learn to think of yourself as being gorgeous right now, rather than being gorgeous later.

I don't think you should hide yourself away from people as you go through your transformation. You're like a caterpillar becoming a butterfly. It's an amazing and miraculous thing, and sharing yourself with the world is a gift that only you can give. If some people don't want to receive that gift, then that's their loss.

What's important to remember is that there are other people out there, like those of us here on EC, and those in your personal life that love and support you - who are excited for you. We want to be there and watch you transform so we can cheer you on. If you try to hide yourself away from people who might judge you, then you risk hiding yourself away from people like us too.

Sorry, I got kinda sappy. But I'm really happy for you, and I want you to know how gorgeous you are already. (*hug*)

 

:eusa_doh:
I should have thought of that.

I kinda know what you're talking about, when it comes to slow and incremental changes. It looks so big to us because we don't see you every day.

I go through phases where I grow determined to lose weight, and as I lose it (often through not-so-healthy methods :rolle I don't notice the changes either, until someone points it out to me. The only downside is that I'm a huge comfort eater, so once I hit a rough patch it's back to donuts. :dry:

My therapist was actually the one who suggested that I start rewarding myself. I came up with the whole idea of the mirror thing on my own.

One thing that might help, and I'm not completely sure - it depends on how comfortable you are with it - is to put an old picture of yourself on the mirror. That way when you look in the mirror you can actually see how far you've come because you can compare.

Even if you don't do the mirror thing, I still suggest trying to catch yourself thinking negatively - beating yourself up - and then stop yourself when you notice it and try and think of some positive things about yourself instead.

In fact, I might even suggest writing down something positive that you like about yourself each day. Like, keep a notepad and pencil by your bed. Then at night write down at least one positive thing about yourself. Then in the morning when you wake up, as you start to get ready, glance over your list - just to remind yourself.

These ideas just popped into my head as I wrote this, and I'm stealing them for myself.

 

LOL. I get where you're coming from totally.

In my mind I should look like a Calvin Klein Model. That is so remotely not even in the genetic cards for me it isn't even funny. There is like literally no one on either side of my family that is super skinny or buff, and this is true for multiple generations. I come from a hearty and tubby stock of people.

I suppose this is a great and wonderful evolutionary thing. When the famine comes 'round again, all the skinny bitches will die off leaving us behind.

It also doesn't help at all that we're southern and love southern food. Why does everything so delicious and tasty have to be so bad? Who knew dumping that much bacon grease into your green beans for seasoning wasn't healthy? Damn it, grandma told me to eat my vegetables because they were good for me! :lol:

 

Great transitioning. I notice you already had soft feminine facial features even before taking hormones, must have been your personality surfacing in your traits. My wife is the same; gentle, soft, feminine no matter what!

Good point is I noticed many trans woman transitioning around where I live. It's so great that they feel at ease to do so instead of enclosing themselves shut until they fully pass, it warms up my heart that the world is getting to be a better place too.

 

Im a bit late to the thread, but better late than never right?:icon_bigg
First things first
<---- is a woman, has noticed you! There ya go, no need to worry anymore!

Tech speaking im a naturally born gay woman (just a bit of a slow one :roflmao and i would never even consider shunning a transwoman. Welcome to the sisterhood! (&&&)

Your looking great in your pics by the way, loving the hair flick thing

Also in regards to your ex, its her loss not yours

 

Thats awesome ^^

Also im totally jeaslous at you dying your hair blonde, i tried once i ended up... orange! Yeah that didnt last for a day until it had been dyed darker again lol.

 

I'm so proud of you. (*hug*)

I'm glad that you're considering living as yourself full time sooner rather than later. You shouldn't allow the fear of assholes keep you from living your life. You have just as much right to go out and live your life as they do.

 

Congrats!