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I really messed up this weekend

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by Soundofmusic, Sep 11, 2017.

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  1. Soundofmusic

    Soundofmusic
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    Haha! Ugh I wishhh. It's hard enough for me to be attracted to someone, let alone someone who isn't straight or totally unreadable.
     
    #61 Soundofmusic, Sep 14, 2017
  2. silverhalo

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    It's going to happen trust me.
     
    #62 silverhalo, Sep 14, 2017
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  3. Soundofmusic

    Soundofmusic
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    From your keyboard to the universe's ears! (does it have ears?)
     
    #63 Soundofmusic, Sep 14, 2017
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  4. Soundofmusic

    Soundofmusic
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    I am SO SO GLAD that I coincidentially am seeing my psychiatrist today. I know he will want to focus the conversation on the huge fight I had with my family last week, but ugh I don't want to talk about that. I know what to do about that.

    I need to go through how I'm feeling about this whole ordeal. He's not super helpful about sexuality issues because he's a straight old man lol but at least he can tell me how to navigate the desperation I feel sometimes haha
     
    #64 Soundofmusic, Sep 14, 2017
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  5. Soundofmusic

    Soundofmusic
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    Kind of off topic but sort of not, I just got another declination letter from a job application.

    Ive been applying to 5+ jobs a day in NYC for months now and I cant even get an interview :frowning2: And honestly, I really need to get out of this island.
     
    #65 Soundofmusic, Sep 14, 2017
  6. RJay

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    So sorry to hear that! I hope you don't lose hope and keep those applications coming!
     
    #66 RJay, Sep 14, 2017
  7. Soundofmusic

    Soundofmusic
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    Trying not to!
     
    #67 Soundofmusic, Sep 14, 2017
  8. Really

    Really
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    Do you ever get back to them and ask why? Not to challenge them but to help you going forward.
     
    #68 Really, Sep 14, 2017
  9. Rana

    Rana Guest

    I've been weird about marriage for years. I've never been married because of it. However, I also never felt that intimate connection with a man that I now know I can feel with a woman. So will this change my view about marriage? I'm not sure, but something tells me if I met the right woman and was really happy I just might say yes to marriage. The truth is I feel more alive and open now that I've realized my sexual orientation, and so many problems of intimacy I had with men are making sense now. In short, I finally feel like a whole human being and more comfortable in my own skin. So, I think some of my fears about marriage might just be reversing. I just might say "yes."
     
    #69 Rana, Sep 14, 2017
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  10. RJay

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    Beautiful. It's how I feel too.
     
    #70 RJay, Sep 14, 2017
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  11. Soundofmusic

    Soundofmusic
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    No cause its a lot of online applications and i never have true contact emails but in the past i have. I just dont have any personal connections in the industry so i have to resort to online applications
     
    #71 Soundofmusic, Sep 14, 2017
  12. Soundofmusic

    Soundofmusic
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    So i just came back from a 2 hour therapy session and my psychiatrist says he hasnt seen me this sad or surrendered in a long time :frowning2:

    He says i need to remember my progress and only do things because i really want to do them (re-being w/ men). I for sure feel surrendered. Like idk where to go from here with anything in my life rn :frowning2: sorry to be such a debbie downer
     
    #72 Soundofmusic, Sep 14, 2017
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  13. RJay

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    So sorry to hear how you are feeling. All I can offer is a virtual hug.
     
    #73 RJay, Sep 14, 2017
  14. NeonSocks

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    Hang in there @Soundofmusic! This is definitely not an easy journey and it sounds like you have a lot on your plate. Just know we are all here for you and wish you the best.
     
    #74 NeonSocks, Sep 14, 2017
  15. Soundofmusic

    Soundofmusic
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    @RJay @NeonSocks thank you for your support

    Really, you all help more thank you know
     
    #75 Soundofmusic, Sep 14, 2017
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  16. Soundofmusic

    Soundofmusic
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    Feeling a bit better today. Had lunch with my cousin who is straight and is also feeling "surrendered" in life, so its comforting to know that this feeling isn't exclusively related to my sexuality.

    I don't have plans this weekend but I want to practice a little self love because I need to remember that it's ok to be alone and that it's ok to love myself. That I don't need anyone.
     
    #76 Soundofmusic, Sep 15, 2017
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  17. silverhalo

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    Haha thanks, that's a nice answer.
     
    #77 silverhalo, Sep 15, 2017
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  18. silverhalo

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    Hugs

    Is there any chance you could try and do some kind of internship or work experience for a company that might help you get a move to New York? I appreciate that money is going to be an issue but if you could manage it, perhaps it could be a foot in the door.
     
    #78 silverhalo, Sep 15, 2017
  19. Rana

    Rana Guest

    Hi there, you probably already know this but have you tried networking more? I have found that applying online is not very effective for jobs because there are hundreds of applications so your might not even be read. Most people I know who have gotten jobs recently have gotten them by networking...you know with friends, previous colleagues, family, etc. Networking is an art that I surely have not mastered but apparently it's a better way to get a job these days. It's tough out there regardless, especially in NYC, and other saturated markets. Hang in there.
     
    #79 Rana, Sep 15, 2017
  20. Soundofmusic

    Soundofmusic
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    I have a very limited network in NYC but i am trying that, yes. Thanks for the advice!
     
    #80 Soundofmusic, Sep 16, 2017
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