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I guess I'm back around the corner

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by RJay, Sep 13, 2017.

  1. RJay

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    V texted me to ask me to meet with the kids at the playground even though it's way too late on a school night. And guess where I am? I moved so fast I got here before she did. What is wrong with me?
     
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  2. zumbaqueen

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    Nothing is wrong with you, you still just don't have a definitive answer about V and the possibility of you and her being together and your looking for that.
     
    #2 zumbaqueen, Sep 13, 2017
    Last edited: Sep 13, 2017
  3. Farmgal

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    Nothing is wrong with you. I'm sure most of us would have done the same. I'm still holding out hope that she is going to realize she likes women,
     
  4. OED27x

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    Nothing is wrong with you. But I think you need to figure out a way to find out what her deal is.
     
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  5. Soundofmusic

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    Nothing is wrong! You aren't expected to all of a sudden be nonchallant and totally over the situation. But you have for sure made progress, don't forget that!
     
  6. Searching1

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    As others said, absolutely nothing is wrong with you! You haven't resolved what you and her are and you still have huge feelings for her. Hope you enjoy your evening with her. I also hope you get resolution soon!
     
  7. RJay

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    Thanks, girls. Honestly she makes me crazy. I feel like yelling at her, "don't you get it?" I mean I feel like if I get closure I'll be able to move on. I certainly feel attracted to other women, and know I'm ready to try dating, but when I see her I feel all messed up. My feelings for her are somewhat overwhelming. I'll talk to her at the earliest opportunity when we are alone without the kids.
     
  8. junebug99

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    I agree. You do need to find out what her deal is. You can't really move on either with her or someone else. Its like your stuck.
     
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  9. silverhalo

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    You can do this Rjay, if she doesn't want you there are many lovely ladies that do.....
     
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  10. Soundofmusic

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    Yes I think at this point you absolutely need resolution. This limbo is not good for you.
     
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  11. Worker Bee

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    You can do it Rjay. You deserve to be out of limbo once and for all.

    Be brave.
     
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  12. NeonSocks

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    I agree with @Soundofmusic on this one. I honestly don't think V has any idea what she does to you and at the same time I think you need some resolution before you can truly move forward. I am sure the thought of telling her is incredibly nerve wracking, but you deserve to have peace.
     
  13. driedroses

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    I agree with all of this.
     
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  14. Rana

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    I disagree ladies. I also thought V probably doesn't know what she's doing to RJay. However, as I weigh the evidence in my anal-retentive lawyerly brain, I would have to say V does indeed have a slight hunch about RJay's love and enjoys the admiration (regardless of whether she wants to play for the home team or not...which I just don't know).

    Why do I say this? Exhibit A: knowing RJay is gay and sending the sexy shoe modeling photos. Exhibit B: getting the last box of her favorite cigarettes ever made and knowing how much effort it took to find them since she had tried to no avail. Exhibit C: having hugs and texts and her hair stroked by RJay and not being weirded out (she never pulled away or stopped communicating with RJay so she's okay with it).

    Ladies, methinks the girl likes the attention.
    (Court adjourned)
     
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  15. Leela80

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    I agree with Rana
     
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  16. RJay

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    Thanks guys. You are good friends. And so is L. She just texted me to meet her outside for a smoke and she asked me about whether there were any developments in my love life. I told her how I'm likely going out Friday night with the late-in-life lesbian group and she was soooo excited. She said it made her day, and she asked if she could give me a hug, and I said yes, of course. Very nice, unambiguously platonic hug, haha. She was like, "I hope you don't mind how much I want you to get out there and start dating." I said, "no! It's so nice and refreshing! Much better than the straight friend I'm crushing on who doesn't ask me ANYTHING about my gayness, and just acts so strangely around me and seems to revel in my attention." L was so funny about it... she was like, "yeah, whatever! Forget the straight girl. ESPECIALLY if she isn't encouraging you to go out and date. Trying to get somewhere with her is a TERRIBLE idea. Friday night bar hopping with a bunch of lesbians is a FANTASTIC idea! I'm so proud of you!" LOL. God bless L.

    Another straight friend who is super supportive in a non-ambiguous way said I should tell V this: "I have a date with a girl I met online. She's not as cute as you, of course, but I have to resign myself to you being out of my league anyway because you're not a fucking lesbian, damn you." HAHA. I might just do it!
     
    #16 RJay, Sep 14, 2017
    Last edited: Sep 14, 2017
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  17. Soundofmusic

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    I agree with this. I dont think its a matter of telling her because shes clueless about what shes doing. I think @RJay just needs closure/to know for sure so she can move on or move in
     
  18. Soundofmusic

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    Hahahaha SO GLAD YOU ARE HANGING WITH L.
     
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  19. Rana

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    Yes, I agree about the need for closure. Suffering in limbo is agony.
     
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  20. Rana

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    L is one cool chick. She's right too.
     
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