Have you ever been hit on by the gender you're not attracted to? How did you react?

Re: Have you ever been hit on by the gender you're not attracted to? How did you reac

One of my friends is always trying to hit on me. Like, I'll be talking about some cute girl and then he'll suddenly start flirting with me. Whaaaaat.

 

Re: Have you ever been hit on by the gender you're not attracted to? How did you reac

Ditto.

 

Re: Have you ever been hit on by the gender you're not attracted to? How did you reac

This really spoke to me. Maybe it's just a thing with those of us with a seriously masculine side or something--mind you I'm genderqueer and even gendertwisted--but for some reason, I find that a certain part of the "masculine" temperament is that sort of odd cluelessness.

I really hear women complaining about situations like, oh, let's take the drooling weirdo at the food place who commented on one young woman's hair and asked her name. A guy might not like that, regardless of his size, but the way a guy would usually deal with that kind of person would be to turn and say, "I'm not just going to tell you my name, dude," laughing politely, and say, "Thanks for, like, the compliment, though. Hey, dude...are you okay?" If there were any trouble, he'd yell for the manager of the place. His instinct wouldn't be to run. That really isn't even a safe thing to do. As soon as you are out of the store, you are alone, where you can be chased. Staying in situ really keeps you close to help. But that isn't why a guy wouldn't run. He just wouldn't see himself as being in danger just due to being confronted by some drooling creep.

But it seems almost like guys just don't react the same way, in those situations, as women. You listen to women, they seem to feel they are constantly harassed, and it's very hard for a guy to understand why they feel so sensitive in these kinds of situations. It's not that guys are trying to not empathize, but they just don't know why women often have much stronger feelings about these things. From the perspective of a guy, a woman rebuffing him for just trying to be social comes across as not just rude but as catty. Things that a man doesn't see as a pass often come across as one and really make many women feel very scared and uncomfortable.

Maybe some lesbians are more like average guys in just having less of a strong emotional reaction to being hit on? Do some lesbians deal with advances from either sex in the more masculine way by doing a simple "wonder woman" power-stance and going, "Yeah, that's very nice. I'm into that, too!" and really don't even always register it as a pass? So far, in my life, I've only seen that kind of happy obliviousness as a sort of a guy thing.

 

Re: Have you ever been hit on by the gender you're not attracted to? How did you reac

One of my coworkers wanted to set me up with her friend. She had only been working with me for about a month and I wasnt out to her yet. When she told me I just looked at her and said "You do know that Im gay right?" She said " I saw your HRC bag and thought Id still give it a shot. Darn, you two would have been a cute couple." Ill admit it made me chuckle.

 

Re: Have you ever been hit on by the gender you're not attracted to? How did you reac

There's a ridiculous amount of straight teenage girls who find every chance to make me their "GBF" and statistically speaking I guess I apply as "attractive" (debatable) so yes.. many many times... too many times.

 

Re: Have you ever been hit on by the gender you're not attracted to? How did you reac

It doesn't happen as often as I perhaps would like, but when it does I simply say "thanks, I really appreciate the compliment. You've made my day." If the flirting persists I'll just politely say that I appreciate the ego boost, but I'm gay and not interested.

 

Re: Have you ever been hit on by the gender you're not attracted to? How did you reac

since I don't have the stereotypical lesbian look I get attention from guys quite a bit...usually once I start talking to someone. They love my personality and so that's when it happens...if a guy asks me out I just tell them I'm into girls and usually that's it..I'm not stuck up about it or anything I'm just happy to know someone likes me even if I'm not into them

 

Re: Have you ever been hit on by the gender you're not attracted to? How did you reac

No. No, it's not.

Unfortunately, that incident was was quite tame compared to what occurs there on an hourly basis. Men trying to run you off the road while blowing you kisses; strange men following you around throughout the city; trying to feel you up in public places (with wedding bands on, mind you); getting absolutely livid that you have no interest in them despite your single status--often to the point where you feel like you will need to defend yourself with significant force. Charming little place....:rolle:

 

Re: Have you ever been hit on by the gender you're not attracted to? How did you reac

I have the same issue. The times when I was dating someone I would just say that I'm already dating someone. That usually suffices. I don't recall being asked out that much by guys when I wasn't already dating someone, it is more after I was already dating someone.
(?) I had a couple of issues in college telling a guy that I wasn't interested that were tense. Tense not because I said no, but because I wasn't interested in their gender. Also one guy accused me of being racist because I turned him down. He said, "I see how it is."
I asked him what he meant by that, and he accused me of not wanting to date him because he was black. When I told him that I didn't have a problem dating a black girl, he looked confused, and said something about how I didn't look like I was a lesbian. (he didn't use the word lesbian though)

 

Re: Have you ever been hit on by the gender you're not attracted to? How did you reac

I never used to get asked out at all but since I came out, it has been so freeing that I feel and act a lot more sociable, friendly, etc in manner and feel more relaxed and able to banter with people than I used to and it could possibly come across the wrong way in some situations, which has led to many more men asking me out than used to. Fairly ironic that coming out has led to more male attention!

[Still almost never female attention, though-grrr!)

 

Re: Have you ever been hit on by the gender you're not attracted to? How did you reac

As someone who's really shy, if a girl hits on me, I usually just blush and laugh and avoid telling them I'm not interested. I wish I could be more upfront. If it ever got more serious than just "hitting on", I would of course be honest and let them know. Sometimes I wonder, though, how people can not assume I'm gay by looking at me. I definitely seem pretty stereotypical sometimes.

 

Re: Have you ever been hit on by the gender you're not attracted to? How did you reac

A gender I'm not attracted to?

 

Re: Have you ever been hit on by the gender you're not attracted to? How did you reac

Years ago, a guy in my class asked me out, and when I said no he thought it was because he was Mexican. Then rumors started going around at school that I was racist.

 

Re: Have you ever been hit on by the gender you're not attracted to? How did you reac

I tend to be pretty oblivious so more often it's been a case of a friend pointing out I was being hit on after the fact. The few times I've actually figured out what was going on on my own, I either just laughed it off, played clueless, or told them I was gay, which ended the matter.

Todd

 

Re: Have you ever been hit on by the gender you're not attracted to? How did you reac

A few times... actually. Normally, I would try to change the topic. If it's someone who I happen to be friends with, then I'd come out to them. Here's a few times where I have been hit on in the past year...

The most recent one was a month ago at an anime convention. We were playing warewolf (It's like mafia, but villager/warewolf themed-- very fun game). There were some drunk adult players, and one of the women-- seemed to be college aged-- started hitting on me. She found out I was a minor when I said I had to leave early because of a local curfew. As I was leaving the room, she just said "see you when you're 18!". It was weird, but kind of funny. I just think it'll be a little weird if I bump into her next year.

Then there was my friend. I don't know for sure that she was into me, but considering the circumstances it seemed likely. The night before I came out to my friends, she posted on my Facebook wall a picture of a guy and said "this is you in the future". After I responded, she made a heart emoji. Now, this would seem like nothing, but that same night she convinced a friend of ours to ask out her friend. The next day, they asked me if I was gay. After I came out, they told me the two friends were now dating.

There were also more times, but I don't want to make this post too long.

 

Re: Have you ever been hit on by the gender you're not attracted to? How did you reac

It's happened many times. I have found that I just need to deflect them, or say that I'd like to "be friends."

 

Re: Have you ever been hit on by the gender you're not attracted to? How did you reac

If I find them attractive, it's flattering. If they want involvement, I'd have to really think about it. Really think about it. If their lives are messy and want involvement, no thanks, and it is less flattering at that point.

If I don't find them attractive, I try to be polite and make an exit. I have found that being friends in such situations always ends poorly. I don't need those dynamics anymore.

 

Re: Have you ever been hit on by the gender you're not attracted to? How did you reac

Yes many times. I don't want to lead them on, I'm just really friendly to girls. in high school there were 2 girls that were good friends, but as we got to know each other they apparently got mad at each other because both of them liked me. One of them came to my apartment late at night only wearing a t-shirt and underwear to tell me how she felt about me:help:. It was so freaking awkward I can't even...

Last summer I was out with a couple of friends and one of my better girlfriends kept trying to grab my hand in a very "weird" way and I had to kinda maneuver my way out of it. Later she tried to french kiss me by just kinda jumping on me, I barely had time to react, I pulled away and turned around casually like nothing happened, right after she had stuck her tongue halfway down my throat :lol:. Ugh... the awkward struggles of being closeted. The same night another girl I know grabbed hold of my hand and we held hands while walking between parties. I was pretty drunk so I wasn't really paying that much attention to it and obviously considering my sexuality, to me it was completely platonic. To her it wasn't tho, I realized later.

 

Re: Have you ever been hit on by the gender you're not attracted to? How did you reac

Once, and I just walked away XD

 

Re: Have you ever been hit on by the gender you're not attracted to? How did you reac

Well, I have been with several gals who have bfs and they are just dying to have 3-somes. I mean the guys want the 3-somes, usually not so much with the girl. I guess I call that being hit on...when the girl's bf says "let's do it" about 50 times in a row. Sometimes I give in and say what they hey....but I do it because of her.