These types of messages, however small they may seem, actually have a significantly larger impact on creating shame than we sometimes want to admit to ourselves. And many small instances reinforce the messaging. Continue to get in touch with those memories and those feelings. When you do, think about how you can rise above those feeling and develop the confidence in yourself by diminishing those events or finding closure to them. There are different ways of working through the shame and no one right way works for any particular person. And I know I am simplifying it significantly here in this thread. Some people meditate and can work through their own emotions, some write adult letters to their younger selves, some go and find those very people that created the initial shame and confront them, sometimes hypnotherapy can be useful, sometimes simply talking it through with friends, acquaintances or people can be therapeutic (including here on EC), and there always is a visit with a trusted therapist (and it should one where you have good personal chemistry and can be completely honest and open) . In many instances, as my experience reflected, it is some combination of the above. I wish there was a manual that a person can follow to sort through all of this. I personally think it would have helped me advance farther along on my own journey in a much more expeditious way if such a manual existed. But unfortunately we are each left with our own path to follow which we need to do on our own and in our own time.