I am only just beginning to understand how much internalized homophobia I have and how much denial. I have almost never been able to imagine being with a woman. I have a fascination with how they dress, and love their femininity but I have rarely ever been aroused. On the other hand, when I finally allowed myself to imagine being with a guy, it felt so natural. Someone here once asked, "who could you imagine coming home to and kissing and saying "I love you"?" I almost collapsed on the floor in happiness when I let myself imagine it.. and it was a cute guy... But part of me doesn't think I am gay.