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Do you (or did you) get moments when it (almost) goes away?

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by LostInDaydreams, Jul 10, 2017.

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  1. silverhalo

    silverhalo
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    I don't think that has to be true. I mean if your partner was sharing the parenting. is your daughter 3? It won't be longer until she is not so young anymore.
     
    #41 silverhalo, Jul 13, 2017
  2. LostInDaydreams

    LostInDaydreams
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    I know. I can't believe how time has gone on really.

    I just feel that I'm not happy now. I love my daughter and I like my job, but I feel there's a big gap somewhere. To a point, I feel a bit lacking in purpose. I feel like I'm just going through the motions and not really enjoying life.

    When I imagine myself living on my own with my daughter, not much changes. Except that I won't have another adult about the house and I'd have to all the household jobs by myself.

    I don't know what I'm missing.
     
    #42 LostInDaydreams, Jul 13, 2017
  3. silverhalo

    silverhalo
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    Emotional fulfilment?
     
    #43 silverhalo, Jul 13, 2017
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  4. LostInDaydreams

    LostInDaydreams
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    Probably.

    Whilst I'm not physically alone, I don't really talk to alone about anything. I can happily watch a film or go for a day out with my partner, but we don't talk about anything other than practical things, like what we need to buy, etc. I don't have any close friends either. Maybe I should make some new friends.
     
    #44 LostInDaydreams, Jul 13, 2017
  5. silverhalo

    silverhalo
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    I really think making new friends could help you. It can never be a bad thing :slight_smile:
     
    #45 silverhalo, Jul 13, 2017
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  6. LostInDaydreams

    LostInDaydreams
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    I guess not. It takes years to build up a friendship tough. I've been one for having close friends anyway.

    Maybe I just need female friends, rather than a relationship with a woman.
     
    #46 LostInDaydreams, Jul 13, 2017
  7. silverhalo

    silverhalo
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    Ok if you say so :slight_smile:. Are you sure you are not just bargaining with yourself though?

    It's true really good close friendships take time to develop but developing them is also an enjoyable process.
     
    #47 silverhalo, Jul 13, 2017
  8. LostInDaydreams

    LostInDaydreams
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    We'll see what happens when we've moved. I've been thinking about getting in touch with some old friends too.
     
    #48 LostInDaydreams, Jul 13, 2017
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  9. LostInDaydreams

    LostInDaydreams
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    This is fairly close to the truth. Right now, I just want to bury my head in the sand. It's easier to pretend none of this is happening.
     
    #49 LostInDaydreams, Jul 13, 2017
  10. silverhalo

    silverhalo
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    In the short term that is very much the truth :slight_smile:. I'm sorry I wish I had a magic wand to wave that would give you all the answers.
     
    #50 silverhalo, Jul 13, 2017
  11. zumbaqueen

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    I pretended for way to long. As I've said before I had tremendous stress, anxiety and suicidal thoughts. Once I quit pretending and accepted who I have always been that went away.
     
    #51 zumbaqueen, Jul 13, 2017
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  12. LostInDaydreams

    LostInDaydreams
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    I didn't get my Hogwarts acceptance letter either. :disappointed:

    Yes, that would explain why I don't like thinking more than a couple months ahead. It's harder to imagine still being in this situation in the long-term, but days turn into weeks...
     
    #52 LostInDaydreams, Jul 13, 2017
    Last edited: Jul 13, 2017
  13. silverhalo

    silverhalo
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    And weeks into months.

    Damn being a muggle
     
    #53 silverhalo, Jul 13, 2017
  14. LostInDaydreams

    LostInDaydreams
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    And months into years! I'm very good at burying my head in the sand, which my partner has pointed out to me the past.
     
    #54 LostInDaydreams, Jul 13, 2017
  15. Peterpangirl

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    I too have felt these feelings over the past few months. I am hoping the suicidal thoughts will not return, but the conflagration of everything altogether has made me feel very low. Taking small steps to change things seems to be the only way out.
     
    #55 Peterpangirl, Jul 13, 2017
    Last edited: Jul 13, 2017
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  16. Searching1

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    Oh LostInDayDreams, I'm so sorry and I relate so strongly. I just started with anti depressants yesterday because I have become so negative and don't remember the last time I was happy. I'm hoping getting to a better place emotionally will help me enjoy life more and make decisions with a clear head. I often feel paralyzed as you are describing, unhappy and unfulfilled, yet still caring for my life and husband. I am also convinced that I would still be unhappy no matter what I do- there is just no way to really know. I am in a brand new area, also about to go into a new home, and I am just so desperate for friends. Being lonely going through a hard time is so rough. I just joined a mom's group and I hope to start making friends. Hang in there and try to keep positive! I know this is what I need to work on.
     
    #56 Searching1, Jul 13, 2017
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  17. LostInDaydreams

    LostInDaydreams
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    Findingmyself1, I'm sorry that you're going through this.

    I really hope you can make some new friends at the mom's group. I have thought about similar, but I don't ever that I have much in common with other mums (outside of having children). It feels like playing a part and pretending everything is fine in our little family. But, I do think I need to do something.
     
    #57 LostInDaydreams, Jul 14, 2017
  18. silverhalo

    silverhalo
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    Hey lostindaydreams, would you say you suffer from a lack of self cofindence?

    It's just anytime you discuss friends etc I am getting a vibe from you that you feel like people don't want to be your friend. What kind of interests and hobbies do you have aside from looking after your daughter? Or as that probably gives you not much free time what about before your daughter came along?
    A mums group has the basis of everyone being a mum but apart from that I a man sure theŷ are all very different and sure there will be some that you have nothing in common with but why can't their be other like you ?
     
    #58 silverhalo, Jul 14, 2017
  19. LostInDaydreams

    LostInDaydreams
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    Sometimes, it depends on the situation. If it's new or unfamiliar in some way, yes.

    Well, my daughter arrived not long after I left university, so whilst I didn't have any hobbies as such, I was in more regular contact with university friends.

    I guess you're right, but I won't be going to any groups after I've gone back to work anyway. I do meet other mums through my daughters nursery, but they're all in the their late-thirties/early-forties, so it doesn't feel like we have a huge amount in common. But, yes, I should give it a chance.
     
    #59 LostInDaydreams, Jul 14, 2017
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  20. Peterpangirl

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    I know exactly how you feel.
     
    #60 Peterpangirl, Jul 14, 2017
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