Do You Feel Pride Parades Hurt Us?

The two aren't incompatible. Do straights deserve to be looked down on because they got to bars in tight and short clothes and spend the night trying to have sex on a regular basis? Of course not, and neither do we.

Even among LGBT people, it seems that for a queer to be at all good and worthy of respect, they have to be perfect.

*perfect meaning "exactly as approved by straight people," not actual perfection

 

...You weren't listening to me at all, were you?
That second part was in response to when you said that straight people are never put in boxes, and are always judged as individuals. My point was that what you said isn't necessarily the case.

---------- Post added 26th Apr 2014 at 11:36 PM ----------

Spending all your time trying to get laid is frivolous and irresponsible.
Promiscuity isn't really what we're going for here.
I'm not saying this: "Abstinence = no moar underage sex! Problem solved!"
I'm saying this: We really need better PR, and while these Pride events might be fun, they aren't going to help us, that's for sure. We need a more mature Pride parade.

 

In point of fact, that's not actually true. The word "slut" is part of a vocabulary designed to shame women who decide to exercise their sexual agency outside the normative and monogamous courtship-to-marriage stream. Obviously, one can surely see how this might benefit men in a patriarchal culture (like ours).

 

They're never put into boxes for being straight. Their heterosexuality may not be a protection against other discrimination, but their sexuality will certainly never be a reason for why they're mistreated.

 

Great, a discussion about pride turned into a slut-shaming round of morality/behaviour police.

This is a support forum for LGBT people, not a place to shame or to judge others for not doing as you wish.

 

^ Thank you.

Oh, boy, here we go...
"Slut-shaming" my ass. I can't speak for the others, but I'm merely criticizing the "hookup culture" and society's obsession with sex. Less sex in the media. That's all I'm saying. And sometimes, people make irresponsible decisions. To imply that we should support said decisions instead of trying to help them make better ones? Not a good idea. We're trying to help them, not cause them to get dangerous STDs!

 

who says the same can't be said for the gay community when it comes to "perfect"? they wouldn't have to be approve by straight people to even be near that level.
i'm not saying they're suppose to be compatible, like i said, it's from what their perspective is.
yea it's a parade, have fun and everything, but to call it a sort of protest for equality rights or gay rights, whichever you want to call it, it doesn't really seem like an ideal situation. to me it just comes off as all the more excuse for LGBTQ to come together and act a bit more obscene then usual, just because it's "gay pride".

 

Being open about sexuality is a push for equality. And sexual irresponsibility? You mean sex shouldn't happen until your personal seal of approval is obtained?

 

Guys, none of you have a right to police someone else's sex life. Full stop.

 

I'm not exactly feeling the support when you're literally saying that someone is a lesser person for their sexual behaviour.

 

And this isn't about sexual health and STDs. You made that clear yourself, JStevens.

 

How is he implying that they're lesser human beings by making mistakes?
You're not infallible, I'm not infallible, he's not infallible... Anyone can make an irresponsible decision. When someone does that, you can't just deny that you were being irresponsible.

For example, if someone has a lot of sex, they should stock up on protection. That's a responsible thing. If someone forgets, are we going to call them stupid and slutty? No! We should do something constructive. Give them strategies to remember. Teach them to be prepared.

To say that we are shaming people is a bit overboard, don't you think?

 

Yes. That's exactly what I think, and that's exactly what I wrote. All anyone has to do is observe them. Watch those who are offended by any nudity / sexuality in a gay pride event. Then watch how many of them are offended by that same level of nudity / sexuality in similar situation in a straight context. Like, for example, the Spring Break video I linked.

Some attractive gay men in speedos dancing provocatively. That might offend them. Some women in bikini's giving a guy a lap dance on stage, in front of a cheering crowd, while being splashed with water? Awesomesause. Swap the female out for a man, all context being the same... then suddenly, there is a problem?

Yeah, there is only one conclusion you can draw from that. The problem is that the guys in question would be gay, and it would be gay men doing exactly what straight people do. Thus, reminding straight people that gay people exist.

Now, I'm not saying there aren't some sexual prudes out there. There certainly are people out there who will cringe at the slightest sight of skin or hint of sexuality. However, their problem is with sexuality. If they're judging ALL gay people by the acts of a few? Well, then, they're still bigots.

No, I'm talking common complaints of Pride. Every year about this time - EVERY YEAR - this topic comes up. You will find people wanting to throw other members of the community under the bus, because they're afraid of what straight people might think. Sometimes it's because of the perceived sexuality / nudity of Pride. Sometimes it's because of the Drag Queens. Sometimes it's because of Trans* people. Sometimes it's because of feminine gay men.

Basically, anyone who doesn't completely pass as a straight person, is free game to be thrown under the bus by someone. And by completely pass as a straight person, I mean show no hint of the gayness. Because that's what offends the people they're trying to please.

Which is pretty much the reason such individuals have no idea what Pride is about. It's about celebrating our community in all of it's diversity. We spend 364 days a year striving to make straight people comfortable and happy. We get one day. One day. That's it.

People who are offended by what they see can spend the next few weeks apologizing, if that makes them feel better. However, I am firmly in the camp that such people should be flatly ignored.

I have very little empathy for people who dislike Pride, because half the people who march in the parade are the ones on the fucking frontlines making every victory we have possible. I'll find more empathy when those who bitch about Pride start making a list of all the things they do to further the movement and the cause. Until then, they're just dead weight being pulled along by everyone else, and should have enough decency to be grateful for all the hard work other people do to improve their lives while they do next to nothing but mooch up the benefits. (**Note: I'm not directly aiming this statement at you, All Paths. I'm speaking in generalities. Once again, as I said - this discussion comes up each and every year.)

No, I was listening. It just didn't make any sense. Every thing you listed had nothing to do with them being straight. I know you're smart, I see your posts regularly on here. You know exactly what I meant, and that it had nothing to do with the fact that there are subgroups of straight people who are also discriminated against. This is obviously true. However, none of them are discriminated against because they are straight, which of course - is exactly what I meant... and you know that.

 

Ah, yeah, that's shaming them. How is it degrading? And I'm not going to respect you any more because you don't have as much sex as someone else.