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Did religion make it harder for you to accept yourself?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by GlassWalls, Dec 9, 2017.

  1. Denial

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    Oh yes, it sure did. I feared my mother would reject me but she didn't. And even worse at first I rejected myself.
     
  2. Elisten

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    Yes. I'm still worrying that I'm a freak or something on occasion.
     
  3. bearheart

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    Yes. I've been raised as a Muslim, and it is no different than Christianity or Judaism. Knowing and acknowledging that I'm gay was one thing but accepting and embracing it is totally different, and I'm still struggling with it till today.

    I've been researching this for a long time, I cannot say that I'm an expert in this area, but I read both arguments, with and against, and everyone has good statements. I read the Quran regularly and, from my own interpretation, I can see that homosexuality was only brought up during prophet Lot's story (and Sodom and Gomorrah), but never in any other rulings like having an affair with a woman. Lesbians were not even mentioned. I am convinced that love is love, and I do nothing wrong if I love another man, and even marry him, if the system nowadays allows. I still believe that having an affair outside marriage is a kind of the prohibition, to me, my culture, religion and upbringing, I am convinced that sex should not be a goal by itself, but building a strong relationship is, test driving sex is not a thing for me, if I like a man I'm committed to knowing him better, not to try his body! Then, if the emotional and intellectual connection is created, sex would embellish the relationship, it'll be the cherry on the top, but still the deal would be appealing and strong without the cherry!

    Facing the fact that God created me gay (and I'm willing to fight anyone who says He did not!), and reaching a point where I search for the why is quiet a journey in itself. But I reached a stage that I will not listen to a scholar who is making ruling against homosexuality and did not experience being gay first hand, it's hypocritical enough not to follow nor believe him. In my opinion, current day religious scholars (especially Muslim ones), shy from facing the reality that gays are everywhere, and they should, instead of banning and bashing them, find a way to make them part of the society and to benefit from their talents and expertise in all areas of life.
     
  4. LostLion

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    Yes and no.

    Yes because I was very involved with a traditional and anti-lgbt synagogue. I am still very close with them but have decided to never come out to them. If I were to ever date or get married to a dude, I'd likely get married in a different, more accepting synagogue (or have a purely secular wedding or culturally Jewish wedding). I cherish my memories and friendships from my synagogue and want to preserve that. If I date or marry a woman then I guess it wouldn't matter if I told my synagogue I'm bi lol since the traditional elements of Judaism only care about "acting or not acting on ones urges."

    That being said, Judaism in America is generally accepting of LGBT. My Jewish friends, even from my synagogue, have been pretty accepting and were my support system for a while. Something like 80% of American Jews support LGBT marriage equality and LGBT equality in general.

    I definitely had to make peace between my sexuality and my religion before I could move forward. My Jewish community's caused me pain on this topic, but has also shown me love on this topic.
     
  5. LoveMarshmallow

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    It did when I was a child because at that time I didn't even know about sexualities. Now that I'm a teenager/young adult it does only make a difference for older members of my family which of course influences me as well. But me personally, I've decided that even though I do believe and pray etc my god accepts me the way I am. What is written in the bible ate just the religions some people wanted to have. Every individual is allowed to decide themselves what they believe in.
     
  6. MyLittleWorld

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    No. I was raised Catholic and I do believe in God but not religion. God, I believe in, knows what is in my heart and would never judge me for loving someone with all my heart. I am who I am and I can not change it and in my opinion, if it would be wrong by God there would be no gay people but here we are. So love and be loved. I have no fear that I will go to hell for caring for someone and giving myself to them. :slight_smile:
     
  7. BiBiBaybee

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    I don't think my Roman Catholic upbringing made it more difficult to accept my sexuality, but that did not happen for many years. I do think it prevented me from feeling what I feel now when I was a teenager, and in my late teens, as I began to explore my sexual feelings, it was a hindrance.
     
  8. gravechild

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    It was hardly talked about. I did ask "Am I going to Hell?" but was more concerned with my immediate safety, opportunities, and overall happiness.
     
  9. PlantSoul

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  10. PlantSoul

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    Though, it may have been more due to my environment than anything else.
     
  11. BaLLnCHAIN

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    YES YES YES.... i grew up in the baptist church... When i figured out that I was indeed gay, and what gay meant, I went through many mental health crisis, suicide attemppts, and self-harm behavior. It took me many years of pain and suffering, self-hatred, and hopelessness. To think that "God", the creator of everything, and the maker of myself hated me and would condemn me to hell regardless of how hard I strive to be a heterosexual because he knew everything... was a lot for me growing up.

    Hell, even today... I have moments of internalized homophobia that effect my self-esteem, and perception of who I am as a queer individual. Even though I accept myself, that toxic baptist culture embedded subconcious judgement in my soul. And i'm 28 years old.. you'd think by now, it wouldn't fuck with me.
     
  12. anonmember

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    I am a Christian and it’s pretty easy for me to accept my sexuality. I believe the English bible’s passages on homosexuality are just faulty translations. Sexuality worked much different back then than it does now.