Did religion make it harder for you to accept yourself?

Huge deterrent to knowing who I was...grew up mormon as well as some of the above. Back in the 80ties and living in the west, I only knew the stereotype of that gay man in the pride parade in chaps dancing on the float, living the "lifestyle" or the dykey lesbian gym teacher that wasn't out but everyone talked behind her back...and it was scary as hell. According to the church it was a choice and living it was dark and dreary, full of grief. I didn't see a real out lesbian until I was 20 living in Hawaii which was fascinating, but by then I was fully set on being indoctrinated and living the mormon life so I married my best friend since age 14 when I was 21, who also happens to be gay...which I didn't know at the time (snort). So it took years for both us to tell and live the truth and come out at age 43 together! No regrets...we have 5 great kids. We weren't bad partners but there is a freedom in pushing off those chains of religion and societal bullshit and stigma and internalized homophobic stereotyping and engaging in authenticity and truths that can't be compensated by living a false life for the outside view. The internal acceptance of oneself is a gift that keeps coming back for the rest of a life that can embrace what is real. It's true joy...and there's nothing scary, dark, or dreary about that.

 

My faith doesn't make it harder to accept myself. But the religion of my parents and how it affected their ability to accept me has left some deep wounds. I am very skeptical of organized religion but I still retain Christian influenced ethics, and am also interested in Buddhism.

 

My parents were not religious. There was no religious influence when I was growing up. But my dad was military. Navy person. Very strict and seemed to be against any thing that didn't fit within his way of thinking. And my mom was the kind of person to just go along with what my dad said and did. She never stood on her own thinking. My dad controlled everything. He thought military ways were the only way.
But, I was very rebellious as a kid. Even at a very young age I could see right through the things my parents said and did. And, even though I didn't fully understand who I was, I knew I couldn't fit into the mold of my dad's design.
So, to answer the question, no religious influence as a child.

 

Well not really, no. I've never considered homosexuality wrong. I've never had problems with the idea of gay people, it's just hard for me to see myself as a gay person (I'm working on it).
I believe nobody should ever behave differently than what he is because of religion. I follow my own moral compass, I don't need rules for this.
Also, I don't really know what can be considered wrong in gay love. Two people bring happiness to each other and nobody gets hurt, how can this be wrong? How could God condemn someone for this?

 

Yes it did. My religion was one of my biggest issue. I love my religion but at times i feel tired of supressing how i feel. Being a bi muslim is really frustrating because muslim are strongly not allowed to engage in same sex relationship. It makes things worse because even as a bi i am leaning more towards girls than guys due to somehing happening in the past. All of these are frustrating for me. Coming out is really impossible for me at this state. But now that i joined ec i can actually release some of these burden on my shoulder about being a bi muslim

 

I'm a Christian and my religion didn't make it harder to accept myself. I do not accept myself as bisexual fully yet but I'm working hard on it and it keeps getting better and better What makes it more harder is some people(and there are some people I know who think like that unfortunately)I guess and how they think and believe that God hates gay people, not God himself is making it harder. I just don't understand how can those people say that God loves everyone but then be like "uhoh but he hates u" I believe in God not people's words. How can God hate people who just want to love and be happy and why would he. Like one person above said God could hate me for far worse reasons than being a bisexual.

 

My Catholic upbringing didn't make it harder to accept being gay, largely because our version of Catholicism was fairly liberal and accepting. My mom (who was the far more religious of my parents) was very interested in theology, and in putting the Bible into a more accurate cultural context, i.e. this was appropriate for 2000 years ago, but may not be relevant for today's society.

What it did do was make it harder for me to even understand what being gay meant, and how it could fit into my life. Family and children were such an integral part of the life I was brought up in, and sex of any kind was generally not discussed, and our family was also very stoically middle-European and lacking in a lot of physical affection. The result was that I knew I liked boys and wasn't particularly ashamed of it, but I never fully connected physical attraction and marriage and sex with any kind of sexual orientation until much later than a lot of kids. So I was lucky enough not to have a lot of shame at being gay, but it seemed terribly inconvenient because being gay meant choosing not to have children, which I saw as a far bigger problem, particularly with my religion.

 

Though I am still not out, I find that I'm not overly concerned about religion. I was baptised eastern Catholic and my parents are orthodox Christian and we do believe in the holy spirit (though we have not gone to church for about 2 years) yet I don't think that being what I am is against God. He made all people perfect and so we are what we are because of how he intended us to be.

 

Definitely. I'm a bisexual man but I attracted more towards men than women and my religion does not approve of homosexual relationship. It kinda torn me apart really because I feel like I have to choose one or the other.

 

I was raised Lutheran, and they didn't really push any anti-LGBT beliefs on people. It was mostly society in general that was so homophobic just a few years ago, that was holding me back for a long time.

 

Good question. I'd say that religion in itself didn't make me believe anything about sexuality but being surrounded by conservative people did make it more difficult. I'm Pagan now but not because I think Jesus or God hates gays, I just find the worldviews and overall atmosphere to be a better fit.

 

When I was younger, I was blindly following faith. I was skeptical but wasn't smart enough to understand why. When I became really involved with a bible study group that's when I realized both religion and the heteronormative life weren't for me. I feel like as a youngin, it didn't make that aspect of my life hard since I wasn't really aware but it did make me realize, that I couldn't connect with others who were religious. Understanding what they really believed (and there were so many occasions when homosexuality was talked ill about) created a huge disconnect and huge distrust. Personally, I believe love is love and you shouldn't tell someone they're wrong because they don't live the same lifestyle as you or they don't love the way you do. As long as no harm is done, then there shouldn't be an issue. I don't think religion made it hard for me to accept myself but I do believe it made it hard for others to accept who I am.

 

Kind of, but maybe in a different way than your question is asking. I was raised in a religious household, but stopped being seriously religious at 12, and became an atheist at 15. So, religion didn't really make it harder to accept my gender identity. However, my gender identity, or rather, my gender dysphoria, made it harder for me to be religious. I have always been mad that if I was created by some higher power, it put me in the wrong body. I found this to be a major challenge to my religious belief. Even if it was proven to me that there was a god, I would be too mad at it for making such a monumental mistake that I wouldn't worship it or show it respect.

 

Not at all. In fact, I try to remember what Jesus said about us "homo's".



And if you can find that quote I'd like to hear it. We're all God's children, regardless of what you view "God" as.

 

it was complicated mix. no, because I was the one who broke the grip religion had on me as a whole years before I realized, so the only trouble I had accepting it was internal, which I got over as time went on. my mom however, somehow always manages to bring religion into an argument involving my sexuality if it should arise

 

0/. But it's not like i couldnt accept it, just couldnt imagine

 

Ugh don't get me started .

As a religious Muslim I have been struggling with my sexuality since like 7 years or more it reached the peak when l fell in love with my straight friend, it was devastating .
After all these years l accept being gay but just emotionally.

 

Well, my mom never liked gay people until I slowly started opening her mind in high school. And there were times when she made her opinions very clear...so for a long time I didn't want to admit it.