Death

that is a load of horseshit . out of love ?
i dont want to hurt your feelings but are your parents retarded ?
it looks like you are seriously screwd. if there is no way to escape and they wont accept you as you are.i would consider lying to them like telling them that u have changed or something and after a few months grab your toothbrush and hit the pavement
altho this advice cant be much help to you if your parents are reading all this.
still hang in there.

 

Oh and if the cops tell you again tell them you are 22 and show them some form of ID, Plus im pretty sure they cant make you go home unless you are breaking some sort of law

---------- Post added 2nd Sep 2014 at 06:50 PM ----------

How much is a bus fare to where you need to get to?

 

You seem to be like me in one way. You always make a reason you can't do something. No plan ever is perfect, there is always a "what if?". You just have to try something and hope it works, if you make reasons why you can't do things you won't ever do anything about it.

I know that sounds harsh but it is exactly what I do, says my doctor. I know it is really hard but there must be one of the suggestions in this thread that you could try?

 

In all honesty, when you get the chance to leave that toxic home environment for an hour or two I would try to get to a computer and phone that is not being monitored to make a few calls/contacts to shelters and other support organisations and tell them everything. I'm not in the United States, so it's hard for me to point you to any local services, but maybe other members in the US or EC staff could offer suggestions? Ultimately, you need a supportive place to go to, to reflect and consider your options. As it stands your mind is totally messed up, your mood is swinging back and forth and your only constant thought is of death. It really needn't be like this.

I know you have other issues besides the home environment (work/transitioning) but while you remain in that hopeless situation with your parents you will be unable to address those other issues and get any meaning back into your life. It seems to be that lack of meaning and purpose that is driving these suicidal feelings - is that a fair assessment?

The contract you signed is effectively a control order and it sickens me that a psychologist would be a party to it. Lets not even get into the professional ethics!

Use your anger to good effect Artist instead of turning it on yourself. There is a lot of energy in anger and if you channel it wisely it can drive you out of this crap.

We're still with you!

 

The police cannot do more than temporarily take you into custody without charging you and if they forcibly return you to your home when you say you don't want to, they are liable to lawsuits. I want to say you should get a lawyer though I'm not sure who you should contact in your area. I hope someone else can expand on this if this assumption is valid.

 

Is there any way out of the town via public transport?

 

this small town of your sounds like a bloody horror film!

---------- Post added 2nd Sep 2014 at 08:36 PM ----------

it sounds like Silent Hill!

---------- Post added 2nd Sep 2014 at 08:37 PM ----------

However its worth pointing out that if Sean Bean can survive Silent Hill, You can!

 

Hi Artist! Before you decide of doing anything with your life, there are still a few good things that you should not deprive yourself of experiencing! One of them is this movie, I believe: Aynehaye Rooberoo (2011) - IMDb

 

I have been refreshing this page many times to see if I hear more from you artist. Please say something. I hope you are still there, and will stay with us until (and after) the day you will find real love!

 

I have been reading threads from you for a while now, and i am so incredibly sorry to hear how you feel. I dont know what to say, but i hope you stay and dont go. I wish i was living close to you or something or could help you in any way because seeing you going trough all this is just.. I dont even know what to say. I really hope you will keep on and that you will Get to be yourself and Get away from your parents. I'm cheering for you artist, you Can do this. Please keep on fighting!

 

Then there is your motivation! If you can't do it for yourself, then do it for her. She looks up to you and it would crush her if she lost you.

 

This! This! This!

Artist, what do you do on a normal day?

 

You're 22, it doesnt matter how up your parents ass the local police are.... you can leave. Bus to Atlanta. Bus to Atlanta!!! Shelter! Help! I know with depression it is hard but you cant keep coming up with reasons to stay helpless and hopeless in the well. Or you can but I really, really hope you can get out.

1-800-SUICIDE or other local hotlines if you get overwhelmed.

 

In all seriousness, Dont!

 

This is a bit old, and someone probably said this, but you don't need god to give you meaning. The lack of someone looking out for you does not mean that your life lacks meaning, merely that you have to look out for yourself. That, and let us look out for you as well.

---------- Post added 2nd Sep 2014 at 08:28 PM ----------

And really, I don't usually suggest it, but antidepressants could help.