Death

ok first im really sorry you are going with all this T-T
i wont say i was feeling the same but ever since i used to be myself which is ever since i was a kid people avoid me hate me parents make fun of me my dad abuse me my brother hit me and tells me i need to man up not only that but some boys tried to kill me once with a glass bottle on my head its all because im a queen i didnt stand up for myself all these days all i did was cry cry and trying to die trust me i did try i even pass out on the ground waking up full of blood shaking cant stand up at all powerless i cry and cry cause i cant stand it anymore what have i done to life i can tell you i used to be just like that but i found stuff that made me love myself i found someone that made me love myself it was someone i didnt know all this time someone i hate it was me after i found me life changed i stand up for myself i dont care what people think and i know that when i finish my studies im going to leave this mad house im living in for good and forever im leaving this mad country i always had fear living in it
why not start to find yourself and better yet lie to your parents tell them what they want tell your therapist you found god and blah blah blah i did it and my sister and her husband believed it all i did was told them that i watched a religious episode about how bad being gay is in the after life and i told them i was lost and i fount myself now im a new person those lies gave me strength cause i did find myself im a new person
now im building my way to make my life better and would jumb at any chance to get out my parents think im religious straight and believe in everything they want im what they want
do the same for you i really think its a very good idea when you get their trust back again
get yourself ready and step by step make the bridge out of that hell to another world

 

Remember that your parents cant stop you from just walking out of the "psychologist" and leaving. Even if its somewhere that you can get public transport to a more open minded place where you could find help from charities and shelters. As for money for the transport, as some of our fine members have already said if you had a full membership we could help you financially. Im sure that given the situation you are in the wonderful website minions can push your membership through.

---------- Post added 3rd Sep 2014 at 10:38 AM ----------

Or do this. these religous people are idiots anyway. Dont take life advice from people who dont believe in same sex marriage but do believe in talking snakes!

 

Not exactly preferable however in comparison to your home life Covenant House Georgia | Covenant House

you are right Georgia seems to be adopting a predominantly dark ages style of public welfare.

 

Atlanta Gender Explorations - A Transgender Support Group in Atlanta, Georgia

---------- Post added 3rd Sep 2014 at 04:22 PM ----------

yeah, I feel very fortunate to live in the UK. Over here we have so many discrimination and enciting hatred laws, we also have Brighton. We also take welfare very seriously here and offer support to just about every group you could ever think of.

You should totaly come here, you with your american accent would get along just fine!

 

have you talked to your parents about you moving out in a more conventional kind of way?

 

Old age is my reply, but the odds of that are like 1/25

If you are tired of drama and you want to die, why not just ignore all the drama. I mean if you are that low in your point in life, I think you should be able to make some changes.

Whenever you get the feeling to off yourself, try to do something that will make you feel better, just keep on trying until you find something or someone that does.

 

That's the sucky thing about depression and similar mental illnesses; the feeling can be completely independent from the reality around it. I've been known to bite and scratch myself and have panic attacks while logically knowing and believing that everything is okay and that I shouldn't be over-reacting.

Feelings absolutely suck, and I'm sorry that you're stuck with the feelings that you have.

I am not sure if this helps any, but regarding the "God" and "hell" issue:

No being that is in charge of creating and managing an entire universe is going to give two hoots about what gender identity one of the over-cerebral primates take on. This deity, if such a thing exists, has much greater things to be concerned about than such arbitrary rules as that, such as, you know, running a universe, making sure the universal constants stay constant, and all that stuff. Remember, too that the Bible that many in your town believe in is not written by a deity--it is written by men who are trying to decipher and speak for a deity. These men have their own motives, perspectives, and knowledge basis that influence what they write, not to mention that the book has been translated and mis-translated numerous times before it even got to the first English version--and then it got altered even more! Thus, that book may have very little to do with how any deity feels or thinks and everything to do with how men think that such a deity feels or thinks.

Also, regarding money: there are quite a few poetry, writing, and essay contests online that can potential give you cash if you win (I'm working on one right now for realsimple.com--The Seventh Annual Life Lessons Essay Contest, if that interests you). You seem to write decently well, and you certainly have the advantage of having a unique perspective. Winning is not guaranteed, of course, but there's a chance--I won $300 from a poetry contest once.

 

then he hates me too. Patience is the key to be free, just wait.

 

It wont corrupt anyone or make anyone want to cross dress, that is silly.

 

hehehe that made me chuckle :icon_bigg thank you!

How are you feeling today, artist?