Death

you will not burn in hell bc u are not wrong

 

Antidepressants are hard like that. It took me a couple of years to find some that worked. So they may still be out there if you can hold on a bit longer.

You are right that leaving is going to be hard. And I do the same thing of shooting down every suggestion because, like people have said, there is no perfect solution. But as much as I often don't believe it, sometimes these ideas turn out to work. If the alternative is to die, why not try to walk to the nearest buses to Atlanta? If the police try to tell you to go back home, tell them no, that you are going to start a new and better life. If they force you into the car, refuse to get out when they take you home. Dare them to arrest you - you haven't done anything wrong or legal, so they can't legally arrest you. Maybe you can contact the ACLU - they work for peoples constitutional rights and you have a constitutional right to live. You have the constitutional right to be who you are and you are the expert on who you are. They may be able to find you a lawyer who would help you for free.

Your parents are doing everything they can to hold you to what they think you should be, so the only think you can do is to fight with everything you have to get out. I know it is hard, but what is the worst thing that could happen? I don't think it can be much worse than what you are describing now.

I wish you strength and know that so many of us are thinking of you and hoping things get better soon. (*hug*)


Just a note based of the previous couple posts that went up as I was writing...
I don't know what your religious beliefs are, but just because the people around you say you will go to hell for who you are doesn't mean you will. There are at least as many people who will say otherwise. You can't believe everything you hear and you can't let them use fear to keep yourself from being happy and healthy.

 

When I wanted to die the thing that held me back is the fact that I dont want my death to be my own doing unless I am doing it for the right reason. My dream death would be dying thinking that I have just saved the things I hold most dear.

Also Im afraid of the changing my mind the last second

---------- Post added 3rd Sep 2014 at 02:48 AM ----------

I dream of a glorious death worthy of song in the halls of Valhalla!

 

Out of two options, 1. Being temporarily homeless in an lgbt-friendly city, and 2. Taking my own life, I would choose the first option.

Desperate times call for desperate measures. I think you ought to get a ticket out of that town; there are cities in the States in which you could get support and assistance.

In a few years, you might be looking back at this difficult time, and be glad you didn't take your own life. You could be living fully accepted as a woman, with like-minded friends, with an entirely new life. Can you see the potential?

 

I was thinking (which can be dangerous) but here goes. We've been talking about ways for you to leave and your parents aren't allowing it, but didn't this 'contract' they made you sign say that if you break the rules they would kick you out? If they are serious about that, if you broke one of these rules, wouldn't that be a way out?

 

bring a protein bar or fig cake

 

You are at deaths door anyway, What have you got to lose?

---------- Post added 3rd Sep 2014 at 03:12 AM ----------



---------- Post added 3rd Sep 2014 at 03:16 AM ----------

By the way that was In agreement to what the others have been saying about just leaving. NOT encouraging you to kill yourself!

 

I said 'get a ticket', not 'walk'. And if you are going to say you can't afford a ticket, well then become a full member here, that way a few of us here could help you out with that (since personal contact info can only be shared between full members). You might recall that in an earlier thread, a few of us offered; you could take us up on that sometime, if you wish. Another good reason to get full membership!

 

delete or block your facebook, don't let that toxicity in there. how far is "miles and miles", six or sixty? change is scary but you can't die in the well, we wont let you and you have too much to look forward to that you can't see right now but i PROMISE is worth it.

 

This would be much simpler if we knew where it is that you are trapped (I know we arent allowed to share contact info)

 

What kind of videos?

 

It just occured to me, Couldnt you leave when you go to your next "psychologist" meeting?

 

Hypothetical situation. If I were a full member in the States near where our troubled member artist lived, I would, once she was a full member, offer her via PM to personally drive her to whatever bus / train stop she needed to get to. Or maybe even all the way to San Francisco or something. Or just any lbgt-friendly city.