Corrupt A Wish

Granted, they don't disown you. (I want this to come true for you too )

I wish that hover boards existed.

 

Granted! But they are very hard to control, and you end up hovering off into space.

I wish I was home in bed.

 

Granted, but you're sick.

I wish that google didn't buy youtube.

 

granted, but youtube gets taken over by vevo and irritating advertising agencies that post adverts every bloody time you try to listen to your favourite bryan adams tune...

and thanks for keeping my wish :]

i wish for world peace

 

Granted, but now everyone is unconscious and wired up to life support.

I wish that I could teleport

 

Granted! You are teleported into North Korea,l and then, the machine breaks.

I wish the US would sell the state of Texas.

 

Granted, but it has swapped places with North Korea; so now North Korea is where Texas should be.

I wish I was in Texas.

 

Granted you are put in Texas....during a thunderstorm... and you're put right of an F3 tornado which blows down your house...and you.


I wish I was able to invite people over to my house.

 

Granted, but too many people come and you don't have enough dip to go with your chips so they all start to complain!

I wish that I could stay 21 years old forever!

 

Granted, they raise the age to gamble to 22, along with drinking, driving, and smoking.

I wish I had new clothes that were dressy casual (jeans/tie/etc.)

 

Granted! But they were dressy/casual in 1972, and you look like one of the parents from The Brady Bunch.

I wish I had some nice, fresh Sushi.

 

Granted. Your Piranha Sushi is now so fresh, they didn't even filet it. You try and take a stab at the sushi with your chopsticks, and the piranha jumps up and bites your index finger off.

I wish my sister didn't bug me so much.

 

Granted, but now your brother (if you don't have one then you magically get one) bugs you a lot more.

I wish I had a pet unicorn named Chuck.

 

Granted! But he's very grouchy and aggressive, and keeps jabbing you with his horn.

I wish I had a singing turtle.

 

Granted, he sings horribly (Rebecca Black) and doesn't shut up.


I wish I could move back to my hometown.

 

Ug!

Granted. You move back to your hometown, only to discover it is now surrounded by oil refineries, paper mills, hog-farms and the world's largest sewage treatment plant. Though the economy is thriving.

I wish my fridge was full of fresh, tasty food, instead of almost empty.

 

Granted, it's a dead FRESH fish who stinks up the entire place you live in.

I wish I had more Delta SkyMiles.

 

Granted, but Delta goes bankrupt...again.

I wish I didn't like peanut butter so much.

 

Granted, you don't. Instead, poutine takes that void now and you become obese.

I wish Australia were closer.

 

Granted! Due due a major seismic upheaval, it is lifted up, and deposited over the southern half of the US, crushing you and millions of others. But at least now we have kangaroos.

I wish I was appointed supreme dictator of the world, and everyone had to obey!