Corrupt A Wish

Granted, but your shopping is not completely done yet. You panic and run around trying to get the things you need... the holidays are over long before you even finish buying everything.

I wish EC would delete one of the "Corrupt a wish" threads.

 

Granted. But two admins try to do it, and both delete different threads, so we don't have any now. Thanks so much, Aeon

I wish my voice was higher so I could sing to Delta Goodrem without sounding like a flayed cat X_X

 

Granted, you now sound like a flayed baby llama.

I wish that I had a computer of my own.

 

Granted. Too bad it's an iPod nano, and therefore useless for what you intended it for.

I wish I knew how to express my feelings to everybody concerned.

 

Granted, but people want the old you back because they are weird.

I wish I had stayed home last night.

 

Granted, but because you didn't go out, that cute guy never stopped to look at your butt, and instead accidentally stepped in front of a speeding vehicle, causing the driver to crash, rendering him unable to enter the override codes that would have prevented World War III. Congratulations, you just blew up the entire world, just because you wanted to stay home.

I wish I woke up earlier.

 

Granted, but in order to wake up earlier you had to go to bed earlier, and thus missed the opportunity to randomly win one million dollars when someone stopped at your house after you went to bed, and they aren't coming back. Instead your neighbor is getting the money.

I wish I hadn't slept the afternoon away.

 

Granted, but you still wasted it and now you're tired, too!

I wish you weren't.

 

Granted, yet before I became desolated I pushed the self-destruct button. In the end all have gone away with me. Including you.

I wish I wouldn't have in need to sustain any of my primary needs in order to live.

 

Granted. You are now a floating conscience that travels on the wind. You can't talk to anybody, or interact with anything.

I wish I didn't procrastinate

 

Wish granted: you now do everything without thinking landing you in an institution to keep from harming yourself.

I wish I was more comfortable being gay out in public

 

granted you now draw more attention then a man with a rifle on his back (made it up on the head, good eh?)

I wish I was the luckiest person in the world

 

Granted, but all the luck of the world goes to you, so people who are important to you have misfortunes fall upon them constantly, which makes you miserable even though you have awesome luck.

I wish I could get a tattoo.

 

Granted. You've now got your name tattooed down your butt crack.

I wish the weather was nicer.

 

Granted. . .though do explain the term 'weather'.

I wish for fish.

 

Granted...the clouds darken, then one fish, then another, then a virtual torrent of trout begins to pelt down on you so fast you cannot keep on top of it, and you drown in a smelly pile.

I wish I could pull dark chocolate out of my purse whenever I want some.

 

Granted, but the dark chocolate ruined your ourse.

I wish I could pause time.

 

Granted. Only problem is, you're caught in the time pause too so no one can unpause it.

I wish my homework was done

 

Granted. But your homework is Finished by a 4 year old, therefore landing you a big fat zero.

I wish I could control atoms with my mind

 

Granted; however you controlled some while hopelessley trolleyed on cheap cider, now strawberry jam flows through the world's rivers and people are made of sand. Well bloody done.

I wish I was in a 100% perfect relationship and everybody endorsed it.