Corrupt A Wish

Oh. And I wish I knew where everything I ever lost was. (sorry)

 

Granted, but you cannot get to any of them.

I wish discriminating people would sew their mouths shut and jump off a bridge.

 

Granted, but those people are good at swimming and able to save themselves from drowning.

I wish I did not have a million thing to do today.

 

Granted, you have a million and one things to do today.

I wish they didn't know how to swim.

 

Granted. They sew their mouths shut, jump off of a bridge, and all die. You are the first body they identify, further down the river. Turns out that discriminating against the discriminators makes you one of them.

I wish I had Frodo's sword.

 

Granted, but it's very poorly made and breaks the first time you touch it.

I wish I had the green cape that the Fellowship of the Ring wears.

 

Granted...but it comes with a Ring of Power, and you are forever enslaved.

I wish this lamp had a genie in it. *wink*

 

Granted, but it will only grant you two wishes rather than three, and you don't realise this until you try for the third one. You now have health and wealth, but not happiness.

I wish that I had an infinitely long book.

 

Granted, but you die before you can finish reading it.

I wish I was fearless.

 

Granted. You jump off a very high cliff with very sharp rocks at the bottom without a parachute to prove this fact to your doubting thomas friends and die.

I wish I woke up refreshed.

 

Granted, but you find that you've lost control of your bowel movements while asleep.

I wish it was January already.

 

Granted- but you missed meeting The One because he moved out of your hometown in December and never returned. Bad luck.

I wish this song wasn't so catchy.

 

Granted, you quickly lose interest in the song and skip it.

I wish Hana would spray-sneeze on her screen.

 

Granted. Unfortnuately that means she can't corrupt your wish

I wish I had a newer phone.

 

Granted, your phone is now "newer", but still not the latest in trend.

I wish Hana would stop corrupting my wishes. XD

 

Granted. She dies so never posts on EC again.

I wish Aeon would stop corrupting my wishes

 

Granted, you stop posting wishes so he cannot corrupt them.

I wish cows were actually green in colour.

 

Granted. The green is hideous and no one can stand to look at them, let alone milk them, so everyone becomes calcuim deficent because there is no dairy left in the world.

I wish my hair was purple.

 

Granted, but the smell of grapes used to dye it with attracts a swarm of bees that repeatedly sting you.

I wish life was easier.

 

Granted. Now its so boring you can't stand it.

I wish the holidays had started already.